CHAPTER 3

Whatever Neith said, fairly ingressed in Livian's head and bombarded itself in the innermost part of it, making it difficult for her to process anything further.

"But why? Mom, I'm a literature student. Why would I be attending physics classes?!"

Livian, who was almost at the verge of collapsing, implored, even though she was holding loads of thoughts that she suffered hard to brush off. What's making her do something like this? Does she still holds the grudges from last night and now doing this to punish me?!

"Eh.. I forgot tell you. Well, yesterday I had a talk with the head of the department in case it's possible to change your ongoing subject and guess what? he acceded. Now you don't have to deal with those damned assignment topics of yours. Isn't that great."

Forgot to tell me?? Her body broke into cold sweat at the sight of her mom's creepy lifted edge, sending shivers down her spine. The thought of starting everything from the beginning 'again', made her anxious. With a thumping heart, her eyes welled up. And after failing miserably, she let the tears roll down her cheeks. Despite going through a lamenting process, she gathered her guts together and resented.

"But mom.. I'd to work so hard from the time I got back my —"

"Didn't I warn you to not bring up that topic? Now hurry up and stop bugging me with your annoying questions."

The sudden out burst of Neith made her zip off. She bit her lips inorder to suppress the overwhelming feeling raising in her chest. Neith alway has this quality in her speaking that can control the entire room only through her way she talks. Her tone tends to be so monotonous that the only person who will know she is overwhelmed is the one who's listening to her at that moment. The way she has that tight grip on controlling her range of tone even when she is furious, is what makes shivers run down their spines.

"Mom!"

Swallowing the seething gripe down her throat, she trailed behind her mother who had already trudged away immediately after finishing her words. She glanced at Anna and Simon's figures, who were meekly walking either side of her. The looks on their faces, riled her up even more. The indescribable helplessness was drinking her alive What have I ever done to receive such sympathetic looks from people? Why can I not be one of those, who can do whatever they' want and not what other want them to. Ugh..am I even allowed to anticipate such a way of living for my oneself?

Walking through the busy corridor, while being the centre of attraction and encompassed with people who were scrutinizing them meticulously, made Livian uncomfortable to an utmost level. Although it's not something new to her. A girl who goes everywhere with a nanny and a bodyguard or more, is already a distinct view for the audience. No doubt it's a whole other circle of hell but obviously inevitable.

After walking for a little more in the academy premises, a man, probably in his late 40s, appeared while wearing a high spirited smile on his face. It took her few moments to recognise him. Mr. Wood, the director of the campus, also a good friend of her late father was walking towads them in a little bit hurry.

"Oh! Mrs.Calvert, it's really good to have you here. How can I help you?"

The man showed an exaggerated bow while he greets her mother. Her mom seemed to be careless but still greeted back with a forced smile.

"Mr. Wood, Livian will be attending the physics classes instead of the literature. Please take care of her."

She,who was standing while her posture screams grace and elegance, explained. Whereas, Mr.Wood on the other side, meticulously listened to her. He might be the director of the university but he also can't resist to show his sincerity to the best businesswoman in the town.

"Ah! How come I not help the daughter of my old friend. You can absolutely rely on me, Mrs. Calvert"

A sudden weirdness clouded over both the Calverts, upon hearing about someone they were closely associated with. Livian thought about her mother, who barely recalls of her father inorder to avoid diving into her overwhelming emotion and also about herself, that what kind of effects he still has on her.

"I appreciate your consideration, Mr. Wood. I may take my leave now."

Brushing off every sort of muse from her mind, she avowed in hurry and just like a person searching for an escape, she slipped out of the situation and walked away. Meanwhile, Livian was left with the man, who was watching at her mother's retrieving figure from distance with a bewildered face. She could say what the man might be thinking about. The way her mom reacted after hearing about her father, was fairly unknown to any other person aside from her. She heard how her mother suffered after her father's death and had to work so hard to omit the agony and live for both of them.

She heaved a deep sigh and tried to gather her composure back but not to mention, miserably failed.

"Miss Calvert, come this way. I will take you to your new class."

Mr. Wood extended his hand as a gesture to show her the way. Livian forced a smile as she took her steps forward, trailed by Anna and Simon. Mr. woods tried to keep up with her pace while blabbering about something that Livian didn't even tried to pay attention to. Her mind was full of thoughts, which were revolving around—how her mother have control on her life to an extent that she can flip it upside down in just a snap.

"Our university got the best physics faculties. So you don't have to worry about joining in the middle of the semester."

A sudden raise in Mr. Woods voice, dragged her out of her musings. She tried to comprehend what he was talking about as she spoke.

"That will be nice. Thank you." She tried her best to not to look reluctant while speaking. She always tries to not to disrespect anyone's efforts and feelings just because she's in her own circle of hell.

"Here, just after taking the stairs, the entire floor is for the respective department."

They meekly climbed up the stairs and the entire floor he was talking about looked distinct than others. There were barely few students walking around and the floor was silent. Literally silent. She had never been elsewhere other than her own study related places and it was a whole new place for her to visit. Mr. Wood, who was leading her way, stopped infront a classroom. He slowly opened it, walking inside with a great elegant stature.

"Mr. Lewis, may I take a moment of the class?"

He kindly interrupted the class as he beckoned her to inside. She looked at Anna with languished eyes while an ambiguous feeling coursed through her body. But then a sudden voice of the professor, dragged her attention. Defeatedly, she trudged further.

"Of course, sir."

She walked inside, leaving Anna and Simon standing outside the classroom as always. She agitated when her heart careened against her ribs as a sudden wave of nervousness filled with insecurity ran down her body. Aloft that, as she stepped further inside the classroom, being the centre of attraction only made it worse than it was already.

"So class, we have a new tutee and she will be attending from today. Miss Livian, would you mind introducing yourself?"

She bit her inner cheek to stop herself from getting flustered when Mr. Wood introduced her in way as if she is in middle school. Her anxiousness grew stronger with every passing moment. She clasped her sweating hands together as she spoke.

"H-hello, myself Livian Calvert."

Her words were barely audible and almost indecipherable for anyone to comprehend. However, she didn't felt a need to repeat herself. No one did. It's totally not like even a single being over there doesn't know who she is and the people she is associated with.

"I will take my leave now. If you ever need any sort of help, then please, never hesitate to ask."

Again, she innately felt ashamed to be treated in that way by the head of the university. Nonetheless, she can't just lose her composure, letting everyone know how weak and fragile she is from inside. She relaxed her hunched shoulder and spoke.

"Thank you for your generous words, sir. I surely will."

She tried to be as normal as she could. Her mother would never like it, if she behaves clumsily before so many people. She'd always taught her to be strong. And even if she doesn't feel like it, she atleast can refrain from letting others know about it.

"Miss Calvert, you may take a seat."

"Yes...yes, professor."

Her head was jam packed with various thoughts, which were successfully making her anxious state even more anguishing. Even though having so much going on inside her, she still felt empty. Not a single thing was there that she could put her finger on. Not to mention, how her eyes welled up time to time while anticipating about the future happenings. She spent the time passing briefly while doing nothing but chasing the professor figure with her gaze wherever he moves.

"That's all for today. The class is dismissed."

The time passed briefly and after what it felt like an hour, the teacher finally dismissed the class. Everything that the professor had taught, all just bounced over her head. Despairingly she closed the notebook that she used for nothing but scribbling.

"Miss Calvert!"

She was about to get up and leave when the professor called her. She looked at him keenly and tried to figure out for what he summoned her in the first place.

"Yes, professor?"

Upon seeing him beckoning her, she meekly trudged her way to him to know the matter. Standing next to her, he flashed her a gentle smile as he spoke.

"You must be needing the previous notes. Do you want me to ask any student to help you with your notes."

She was taken aback at the generosity of Mr. Lewis and didn't know what to say further. She never needed any sort of help from professor, as she always gets the best tutors and mentors for her studies and they often give her the study materials. But still, she couldn't bring herself to reject his kind words. For her, it's the first time that a teacher is asking if she needs help for something.

"Er..I "

Upon not getting a proper statement from her, he thought that she was hesitant to take any help. He teared her gaze from her and looked around as if searching for someone. After a fleeting moment as he found the person, he released a sigh before speaking.

"Here, Mr. Brown! Would mind if I take a moment?"

He called across someone. Livian, who felt embarassed and ashamed out of all, couldn't dare to look back at the person. She wiped her sweating hands on her pants as she stood there without uttering a single word. Her mom strictly restricted her from forming friendship and has told to mind her business as much as she could. And on the top of that as if her entire surrounding knows that as she never have had anyone approaching her not even for atleast a small talk, they refrain talking to her as well.

"Not at all, profesor. What is it you want me for?"

The voice instantly sent chills down her spine. The person's rich, jovial, and slightly hoarse but equally smooth voice rang like an instrument in her head. After a few seconds, someone came and stood next to the professor. Meanwhile, when the person and Mr. Lewis were having the conversation, Livian kept her eyes on the floor, too shy to lift it up to meet a stranger's eyes.

"Yes. Would mind if I ask for a lil' favour..? As you can see, she is a freshman, so it will easier for her if you offer your help. You know.. with her notes and all."

As Mr. Lewis finished his words, Livian lifted her head to find a brawny guy towering beside her while looking at the professor with a frowning face. His stature was too perfect for her to describe. She unknowingly scrutinized him, noticing how divinely impeccable he was from head to toe. Livian just wondered how his light brown locks weirdly complemented his hazel-green eyes and slightly tanned skin. She obliviously stared at him to the extent that she had to gulp down to swallow the urge to look at him further and reluctantly fixed her eyes on Mr. Lewis.

"Sure. But unfortunately I have a class to attend, professor. Will it be okay if I do it afterwards?"

After attentively listening to what Mr. Lewis said, he nodded and stated his piece. Livian just listened to him talking to the professor, wearing a solemn face. His way of speaking was honey coated, totally opposite to his facial expression, which held a very stern look and barely paid attention to her existence over there.

"Take your time. Just don't forget it later!"

Mr. Lewis gave him a pat on his shoulder as he smiled. Looking at them having the conversation, Livian could say that they were quite close. 'Cause the way they exchanged their smiles was so gentle. Just unlike when his eyes fell on her, giving her the most chilling gaze just to get back on Mr. Lewis figure a moment later. She gaze fell out of embarrassment. The way he looked at her only indicates that he reluctantly was doing what he was asked to and didn't have a drop of interest in helping a person like her.

"You can count on me, sir."

He again avowed in an enthusiastic tone and strode out of the classroom. Livian, who was in her trance didn't dare to look up, avoiding the audience's eyes.

"He is the best student I've, trust me! He surely will help you in whatever way you want him to."

Upon seeing her agitation sheathed face, Mr. Lewis assured. That being said, Livian had already avowed in her head that he's good person to be associated with. No teacher had ever spoken to her like the way he did. Even she had always noticed how they pretend to be so good infront her and then call her a spoiled child behind her back.

"Thank you for your benevolence. It will really be helpful."

She tried to pass an unforced smile even in the perturbing process going in her head.

"Don't mention. I may take my leave."

She couldn't bring herself to say anything but bobbed her head as she retired back to her seat to collect her things. Afterwards, under everyones eyes on her, gawking her like she is a different creature from an anonymous world, she slipped out of the classroom. Without paying attention to Anna and Simon, who were still there waiting for her, she nonchalantly made her way out to her regular leisure place.

She walked through the courtyard while the fallen leaves crisped underneath her feet as the biting autumn wind chiled her to the bones. She wrapped her hands tightly around herself as she sat on the bench near the enormous fountain, looking at how the spurting water shines distinctly under the morning sunlight. Sitting there for a moment without bothering about anything else, she suddenly felt something wet, dropped on the back of her palm. Upon knowing what it was, she tightly closed her eyes inorder to wring out the remaining tears in it. Nevertheless, as if there was no end to it, tears kept rolling down her blank emotionless face. It would be better to know the reason why I am crying like this. Doesn't she knows what's best for me? Then why am I trying slip away from this fate? Why does it feels wrong to be imposed for something that is 'good' for me?

"Why?" Without knowing, she spoke it out loud. That's when she felt a hand on her shoulder, reminding her that she was audible."Why she did that? This time I really am sure I am gonna fail! I can do nothing about it." She looked at Anna, who was sheathed with a cover that shows nothing but commiseration.

"Don't lose hope, child. Last time you did it, didn't you? Then how can you say you can't this time, huh? I am sure you will. And on the top of that, just look at the positive side! You are going to learn a lot of new things and—"

"Anna.. it's difficult. I really don't want to do all that again!!"

As if whateve Anna said, were just mere words and have nothing to do with reality, she interrupted her in the middle. She clasped her with both of her hands as tears kept falling relentlessly.

"Aw.. don't cry like that. You will make it again I promise. I am with you and I will do every possible thing I can."

Her brows creased when Anna words made their way to her head. It isn't like she doesn't like it but instead, she found it innately uncanny.

" She is my mom.. but she never said this then why you?"

Anna, who was fairly bewildered with Livian's question, couldn't bring herself to answer her. No matter how badly she wanted to console her broken soul, she didn't. For her, coming up with suitable words for the situation was nearly impossible. Upon ending up with Anna's silence, hee edges lifted to a wistful smile. She mentally scoffed at her helpless situation.

Sitting there, time passed briefly. The thickness of air gradually increased by the passing time. Just upto an extent, when it was barely possible to breathe, Simon, who was standing there wordlessly, broke the silence.

"M-Miss.. it's time for the next class. D'you want yo attend it or shall we—"

"I will."

Livian shuddered at her own sternness when she cut off Simon's words. But she couldn't care less. Even in that dire situation, she couldn't afford to miss classes and that's what came to her mind in the first place. She roughly rubed her tear stained face, stood up and strode away. Meanwhile Anna and Simon ran after her. Oh..how badly she wanted to tell them to get away from her but was too tired to demand for something they aren't going to do ultimately.

She walked through the busy corridor of the ground floor, trying her best to ignore the perusing gazes of people. Taking the stairs, she tried to be as agile as possible, trying to make a satisfying distance with her nanny and bodyguard. She upsetly and obliviously stode further and further in a speedy pace until she ran into someone. They collided hard enough to make both of them stumble back in opposite directions.

"Arghh!" The person she bumped into growled as he fell back. "Woahh.." She closed her eyes tightly, waiting for her body fall and hit the hard ground. But to her surprise, that never happened. Instead, she felt a pair of arms holding her tight enough until she gained her stability. Glancing over her shoulder, she saw Simon, who was still holding her arm as if she still hasn't got her composure back.

"F*ck!! Can't you see..."

In between all the bustling, only thing that she heard was the man, who was cursing irritatingly. His familiar voice and face made her jolt back.The guy, whom Mr, Lewis introduced her back in class was now lying on the ground because of her.

"Miss? Are you okay?"

"Yes, I am. Please, help him!"

She gesture at the guy, who was getting up with a fierce expression on his face. As an order, Simon couldn't reject her and tried to help him, but he spoke suddenly with a calmed voice, totally opposite to what kind of expression he wore on his face.

"Get off! I don't need help from a prodigal child like you. Huhh!! I am so done with all of you rich a*ses!"

Livian's shoulders trembled at his choice of words. Though it was kind of a tag she carries wherever she goes, but hearing it from him made her lower her gaze. No matter what she says to refute, it will all be useless. It's just something that has been smeared all over her body as a matter of fact, even though not a drop of it was true.

"HEY! Mind you words when you are infront of Miss. Calvert. Your insolence is unforgivable. D'you want me to—"

"Simon, let it be. It's not like it's his fault."

She again intervened Simon in the middle. Looking at his nothing but anger filled eyes with her trembling ones, she couldn't bring herself to believe that he meant any of it. He was the first one ever, who spat all those words on her face. If he meant what he said then why I can see through him clearly. He's too obvious to read then why is it only me? It's clearly like as if he said it all reluctantly. She ultimately heaved a deep sigh in order to wash up the quirky feeling coursing through her body.

"Sorry for causing you trouble. See you around."

Even though countless words were wandering in her head but rather she failed to come up with anything but only passed him a smile. A smile, that weirdly and surprisingly came out willingly.

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