chapter 2 Reminiscing

     Today is my day off, I don't have any  plans to leave my bed. I looked at the ceiling and I released a deep breath. It was like yesterday, when I was still a kid and not an adult.

I really don't have happy memories when I'm still a kid.

When I was about  9 years old,I was bullied  about my appearance saying that my nose is like a pig. Since my family is poor I received a lot of humiliation evn my own aunt looking down on us. 

I remember my auntie (my father's sister) won't allow us to play. 

Hey Maureen, who said that you're gonna play there. Go pick the woods, you're lazy!  She said

And she pinched my ears.

She looked at her son and said with a sweet voice

 "my child don't play too much, your back is so wet, come i will dry your back".

And she look at me and shout 

What are you looking at? 

I just look at my cousins one more time and head back. 

I have a lot of cousins since my father's cousins are just my neighbors so we often have gatherings and play.

But in my case I can't always play with them because I still have work to do, like get water, taking care of our cows,goats, carabao, pucks wood, doing laundry, etc.

My mom doesn't complain or side with us because if she did  my mom and auntie will end up arguing.

My life continues to be like that. I don't know why my aunt hates us like that.We didn't do anything to them.

 I admit that it hurts me. I told my mom one night.

Ma! My voice trembling: why does auntie hate us? Today she pinched my ears but to her son she's so sweet. I will tell papa about this. 

No! Don't tell your papa about this because it is just trouble. You know your papa has a hot head and they will just fight.  Just don't mind it. Remember there is always karma okey. My mama told me. 

I agree with my mother that we can't tell it about my father but my father knows it already but he just don't mind it.

But one day my father came back from work and got drunk. He  asked my auntie, I heard my father shout at her like this. You don't have the right to discipline my child. I'm her father. I will be the one who disciplines them, not you. Who are you? I'm the father goddamn it. I know my child. They never know. When I'm not here you treat my child like a maid? Who are you  motherfucker? Plates shattered things flying anywhere.

I heard my auntie shout: I just disciplined your child because they have no manners. 

My father glared at her, you liar, my child is ill mannered? Are you out of your mind? My child is well mannered when you see them when they're gathering? They just sit in the corner waiting for their call, even though they are hungry. Is that ill mannered? When you scolded them, did they answer you back? No they dont! You see  god dammit that's how i raised my kids. 

And who are you to interfere? 

Why because we don't have money to give to you that's why you mistreat my child? 

Maybe when I have lots of money maybe you treat them differently huh? Pathetic.

Next time leave my child alone. 

I never expected my father to act like that. 

I thought my father didn't care about us. I cried because finally my father sided with us. I thought he would have turned a  blinded eye. 

After that my auntie called my fathers and she comforted me by saying. 

Hey! Did you tell your father about that? Or your mom? You see your  father did? Next time if your father does that I will call the police . Remember that. She glared at me. 

I don't understand why she hates me. I never do anything to her. I felt devastated with that. 

It's so hard to know about my own relatives hating us.

One afternoon I saw my mom, asking for some cup of hot water, my mom said, 

Bey  can I ask for a cup of hot water, because I'm not feeling well. My mother say 

What even a glass of hot water you can't make? She shouted at my mother. 

My mother was shocked about it. She only asked for one glass (we don't have a stove, we only use wood for cooking).

My mom answered with a trembling voice. 

I'm just asking for hot water in a cup, I'm not asking for a big amount. 

Why do you shout at me? If you don't like to give so don't, just tell me in a nice way. You can have it back. 

My mother threw the cup in front of them, she turned her back and cried back home.

Seeing how they treat us, especially my mom, is so painful,I cried together with my mom.I told her that 

mom don't worry and don't be sad. God saw everything. He will punish them.

 I hugged my mom hoping that I could comfort her. 

I was determined that when I grow up I will do everything to make my mother's life comfortable.

Remembering this makes my eyes grow in tears. 

Seeing my mother  smiling now makes me happy, every salary I give to her makes me happy. 

……….

NOTED

I WILL MAKE A SEPARATED CHAPTER ABOUT MY FATHER. 

 AND ALSO MY LOVE LIFE'S FAILURE AND HOW IT MAKES ME CHANGE. 

MY DEPRESSION AND HOW I MANAGE IT. 

THIS IS MY FIRST TIME TO WRITE A NOVEL BASED ON MY OWN STORY. HOPE YOU WILL LOVE THIS. 

The way sadness works is one of the strange riddles of the world. If you are stricken with a great sadness, you may feel as if you have been set aflame, not only because of the enormous pain but also because your sadness may spread over your life, like smoke from an enormous fire.

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