Chapter 1: My Great Escape

...Ariana Ximena Castillo  ...

"Out of everything that dad and I have done for you, this is how you repay us?" Fumed Daniel.

"Danny, can you please calm down!"

"Calm down?" He laughed hysterically. "You want me to calm down?"

"Keep it down. You're going to wake dad up," I fretted.

"Maybe it's for the best. I can't keep on covering for you."

"Look, I know how weird this whole situation makes you f—"

"Weird?" He quoted. "From every other word in the dictionary, you come up with that? You don't even want to know what I'm feeling."

"Why can't you just accept me for who I am?" I raged, projecting my voice higher.

"Don't you get it?! This isn't you," he raised his voice back.

My fist clenched before exploding in absolute anger. "How the h*ll are you going to tell me who I am and who I'm not!"

"¿Que diablos pasa aquí (What the h*ll is going on in here)?" Dad inquired exhaustingly while entering the living room. "Your screams could be heard from my room."

"This ends now..." Daniel threatened in a low whisper.

"I beg you," I implored.

"Well?" Our dad shot daggers at us. "Why was I interrupted from my sleep? You both know my shift starts in just a few hours from now."

"Ximena over here." Daniel signaled his head towards me. "You know, your perfect little daughter?"

"Stop it!" I insisted.

"She's been seeing someone," he finished.

"This is why you are fighting? The older you get, the less mature you both are," he scolded. "Daniel, she's almost eighteen for the love of God. Stop playing the overprotective brother role. You can't make a huge scene every time you see a boy talking to her."

"What if I told you that all those times she was hanging out with Orlando, she was actually with Jade."

"I'm not sure I understand." He sounded a bit confused. "Aren't they friend—"

Daniel interjected. "I caught her sucking Jade's face almost an hour ago."

"What?"

"I said that she was sucking Jade's face," Daniel reiterated.

Dad took a deep breath and turned around to face me.

Disappointment and confusion were written all over his face.

"Is that true?"

"Y...yes," I admitted, reluctance in my words. "It's true."

"Since when have you been..." He coughed.

"Gay?" I interrupted since he clearly couldn't put the word in his mouth. "For about a year now."

"Please let this be some kind of joke." Dad glared at me with such anger.

"It's not," Daniel chimed back in. "Tonight wasn't even the first time I've caught them making out."

"Have you been spying on me?!" I seethed. "That's a new low for you!"

My anger meter was starting to rise.

"I had no other choice kid," he confessed. "The moment you started acting suspicious, I needed to know the reason behind it."

"I'm such an idiot. All this time I thought that you were going out with Orlando," Dad vexed. "Instead you were sucking that girl's face."

"That girl has a name!" I defended her. "You are both making a big deal out of this. How hard is it for you to accept the fact that I'm gay?!"

"Stop saying that word d*mnit!" My brother snapped. "What is everyone going to think about our family?"

"That's your problem. You're so focused on what this whole town thinks of us," I shot back.

"You have brought us disgrace." Daniel took a deep breath. "I have lost all my respect for you."

"You want to talk about disgrace?" I chuckled as a tear escaped the corner of my eye. "I'm sure you recall your days of adventure with Skipper, don't you?"

"That's enough!" Dad yelled.

"I don't understand," I said wearily. "You were okay with me going out with Orlando."

"And yet you lied to us," Daniel added in.

"My intention was never to lie or hurt you." I sighed heavily. "I'm sorry."

"I don't care how many times you apologize. As of now, I forbid you from seeing that Jade girl ever again, do you hear me? As for Orlando, he lied to me too. I actually thought that the kid was good for you. He's no longer welcomed in my home."

"I expected this from Danny, but from you..." I put my palm to my chest while trying to hold in my tears. "What happened to support each other no matter what?"

I went on with, "When did it stop?"

"I can't even look at you right now," Dad said, looking a bit regretful in the end.

"You have brought shame to the family. No wonder our mother left you here," my brother said, putting more to the flame.

"At least she's supportive unlike you two!"

As I put both hands on my face, my father's fists started to clench. Oh but the look on Danny's face, it's probably going to give me nightmares for the long run.

What I blurted out was meant to stay in. He and my mom had a good relationship despite everything that happened. I didn't want them to take this out on her too.

"Cr*p," I muttered under my breath.

My mom didn't leave me, as my brother had put it. She's been running my grandparents' bakery in Glendale, a small town in Los Angeles, California.

After they retired about six years ago, they handed the shop to my mother, who is now in charge. Occasionally, I visit her during the holidays but it's been two years since the last visit.

As you may have already filled in the blanks, my parents are divorced. I've lived in New Jersey my whole life while my mother lived her own life elsewhere. Don't get me wrong, I love my mom. She's the greatest person I've ever known and our bond is strong. I just wished that she was here to see me grow. I don't blame her for leaving, of course.

"Mom knew about this?!" Daniel bellowed.

I suspired listlessly. "Don't take this out on her. I told her to keep quiet until I was ready."

Dad put his hands on his head as he left the room. "I can't believe it."

Approaching the exit, he looked back and added, "Since you seem to share most of your life with Elena, I bet she won't mind sharing her home," and walked away.

"Are you..." I was unable to continue.

"Kicking you out?" My brother rebuked. "Yeah."

"Don't worry." I headed towards my room. "This disgrace was about to leave anyway."

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—Two Hours Later—

I found myself laying down on the bed while looking at the two enormous suitcases filled with my essentials. Within seconds after shutting my door, I reached for my laptop and booked a one-way plane ticket to Glendale, California. There was no need for a round trip because I wasn't planning on coming back.

Honestly, if Danny wouldn't have caught Jade and me, there was absolutely no way in h*ll that I was coming out to them. In a way, I kind of felt relieved that I didn't have to carry that big secret anymore. But in another way, I disappointed the most important men in my life.

No matter how much they disliked it, I can't keep pretending to be someone I'm not. They can either accept me for me or I can just leave. Period.

To them, I was a letdown. What they thought of me has always been important. Supporting each other was easy. But then this happened and soon it was all gone.

Maybe leaving was for the better.

Jade and I weren't in a relationship by any means. I liked her, but I've always felt like she was using me. Not so long ago, she broke up with her girlfriend of two years. It makes sense if all this time her plan was to make her jealous. I never told her about my assumption, obviously.

Guess that I was caught up in the heat of the moment as well.

Snapping out from whatever universe I'd entered, my phone started ringing. Actually, it's been ringing for the past five minutes. I was just too lazy to even look at it. All and still, I already had an idea of who it might be.

"What's wrong with you? I was worried sick you know!" Yelled an angry person on the phone call.

"Calm down." I rolled my eyes. "I'm fine, Jade."

"How are you fine? Your brother just saw us for the love of God. Even I'm scared and he doesn't even know me that well."

"On a serious note though, are you all right?" She went on in a calmer tone.

I wasn't sure about telling her the truth. If I'm being totally blunt here, I don't think she would've given a d*mn. In fact, we were just fooling around. She didn't have to admit it. I knew she was still in love with her ex-girlfriend. It's extremely noticeable.

A year ago, when Jade was fresh out of a relationship, I found her crying at a park. Being the curious and nosy individual that I am, my legs walked across the grass and made their way to her. Trying not to cross any line since we'd been strangers at the time, I sat on the far side of the bench.

It took a while for her to open up, I was a stranger after all, but she eventually did. She explained to me the reason why she'd been crying but all I could really think about were her beautiful features.

Her curly black hair.

Her glowing, perfect dark skin.

Her auburn eyes.

Although her eyes were red due to all the crying, her auburn eyes sparkled like a sunny day (it was cloudy that day).

She spoke with such anger but even after all of that, her love for the girl could be heard from her weeping voice.

Jade had unresolved feelings that needed to be fixed and I didn't want to get in the way of that. Unfortunately, it got way out of hand which resulted in the situation that I am currently in.

"No, I'm not, " I replied.

"Orlando and I are here if you need us."

"Thanks but you and your brother have done more than enough for me."

"Let's go down to Cherrie's coffee shop. You know what their motto is: If you're downy eat a brownie."

"I swear...Cherrie claims to have started that slogan yet I saw it on Facebook two weeks before she started using it." I giggled.

Even during moments like these Jade knew how to get a tiny laugh out of me. That's one of many qualities I admire about her. She would get out of her way to make others smile.

"So, what do you say? You, me, Orlando, and a batch of warm brownies."

"Look, there's no point in lying to you." I took a deep breath before breaking the news. "I'll be gone in a few hours."

"Gone?" She gasped. "What why? Where?"

"I'm leaving for California to spend more time with my mom. I think it's time to pay her a visit."

"Are you sure it's not because of—"

"Positive," I lied.

Technically I did tell her the truth. Well, part of it that is. I couldn't tell her that my dad kicked me out because she would burst her way through these doors and start a war. I knew Jade too well. She's like another version of myself. I don't think her walking in here and causing a scene was going to change their mind about me.

"When do you leave?"

"In two hours."

We stayed quiet for a while. Jade and Orlando were my only friends ever since my dad stopped being a truck driver. He thought it was a good idea to spend more time with Danny and me since he was away most of the time. Now he found a job as a cook at this fancy a*s restaurant that we could never afford.

I met Lan (short for Orlando) through Jade since they're related. We've been friends for a year. Since Dad and I were always on the road, I never had the opportunity to meet new people and if I did, it never lasted.

"Tell Lan that I'll give him a call after landing."

"He's going to be pissed at you."

"I know." I puffed out deeply. "That's why I can't say goodbye to him now. He'll try to convince me to stay."

"What's so wrong about that?" Jade gave me her sweet voice. "Can you please stay?"

"Nice try." A small smirk started forming on the corner of my lips. "Even your fake-sweet voice sounded real."

"That's because it was real you b*tch," she snarled, totally in a joking manner.

"Goodbye, Jade. I really hope you find someone who can stand you," I joshed.

"Okay ouch." She tittered. "For the record, I knew that you felt as if I was trying to make Teagan jealous. Just know that I wasn't. I'm over here."

"That might've crossed my mind," I remarked awkwardly.

"I know this is horrible timing, especially now that you're leaving," she paused.

"Do you think that maybe we can try to be something more? I know that I'm not the only one who felt the connection," she went on.

"J...Jade," I stuttered. "I did feel it... the connection between us."

"But?"

"I care a lot about you. You're the first girl I've ever liked if I'm being honest. I just don't want to start something I won't be able to finish."

I was not expecting that. Jade actually told me that she felt a connection too. I like and care for her. As I told her, she's the first girl I've ever liked. My feelings for her were unclear though. I think it was more of a physical attraction than an emotional one as awful as that sounds. Whatever it was, I can't give in to someone knowing that I won't be putting enough effort back. She deserves someone better than me.

"I understand," she simply said.

"Well, I should get going. Take care of yourself, yeah?" I tried to end the awkward tension between the two phone lines.

"Yeah, you too Ana."

And with that said, I gathered my things, made my way out of the house, and into the dark night without looking back.

I wasn't planning on returning.

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To Be Continued...

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Author's Note:

Hi, I hope you're all finding yourselves well. I mentioned on "ADALYN" that I was working on another story and here it is. Now that I am officially halfway done with my first book, I had the idea to go more in dept with Summer and Ariana's journey.

***You do not need to read "ADALYN" in order to understand this one***

Keep in mind, this story will only be based on their perspective and no one else's. However, it doesn't that I'll complete block or exclude characters from my first book.

So not to worry, Adalyn and Mason will also be making an appearance ;)

Having that said, I hope you enjoyed the first chapter of "All I Want". If you have any questions, feel free to leave them in the comment section.

\~ With love, Cynthia M.

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