The beggining of the past

the blood on my hands was cold. i had in fact been sitting there on my sliced up knees for an hour. I sat there zoned out, my eyes widened like they were wanting to be gorged out slowly. My hair having blood and peices of broken glass sprinkled on top so neatly.

it wasnt cold in the country then, somehow a freezing element was upon the surface of my skin. My fingertips stroking the concrete with miniscule chips of rock tickling the bed of my skin, my ear had been knocked harshly. I heard constant ringing, it numbed my brain and my thougths just cleared away, my pupils shrank down minute by minute. my lips were cracked and dirty as my mouth was gently creased for me to breathe through slowly. i still wondered how i got there. i might of fell out, or walked away and just collapsed. maybe both in a strange way. my eyes were stinging and red, from the gore i saw before me. traumatised yet so confused i was trembling, not with fear. but with desire to kill myself, i had nothing left. nothing to take away from me. i was nothing. attempting to get up and walk haunted my thoughts. my legs could fall apart at any second, i doubt i had just cut my legs, broken isnt even the correct word to describe it.

the satanic picture i had cycled over and over again in my brain, over and over and over and over and over. i could barely count how many times it faded into my sight. like a cinematic projector, something so fascinating but horrific.

the details i had in my memory are so clear. every detail is specific and as if i was to be in the moment again. My heart started to race, as i was slightly becoming conscious of my surroundings. my vision was blurry, slanted or even as if i was partially blind, harshly scratching over my scars on my palms to guide myself up.

What have i done?

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This was technically 300 and something words so im just gonna keep waffling.

have you eaten today? and hydrated yourself 💕💕☺️

ILY SO MUCH AND TYSM FOR THE SUPPORT

EEEK

(Spam)

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