I think it's too early to judge the story itself but, there is a typo in let's at some point, and in the end it's a bit repetitive as both sentences end the same way. Talking about content, maybe a bit more thoughts that they're having and description of their looks as a whole, such as comparison to when they met to them now and generally how they respond to things happening, I'd also suggest to explore the characters a bit more so far they're a bit bland and I think Diamond is a bit too idealised? or is she going to have a hook to her?
2020-06-12
1
Miracle
If you’re reading, I’d like to thank you becauseI’m a new writer . I enjoy feedback & criticism. Thank you so very much🥰 (also you can dm me, I’ll try to reply to comments)
Comments
A.R.
I think it's too early to judge the story itself but, there is a typo in let's at some point, and in the end it's a bit repetitive as both sentences end the same way. Talking about content, maybe a bit more thoughts that they're having and description of their looks as a whole, such as comparison to when they met to them now and generally how they respond to things happening, I'd also suggest to explore the characters a bit more so far they're a bit bland and I think Diamond is a bit too idealised? or is she going to have a hook to her?
2020-06-12
1
Miracle
If you’re reading, I’d like to thank you becauseI’m a new writer . I enjoy feedback & criticism. Thank you so very much🥰 (also you can dm me, I’ll try to reply to comments)
2020-04-28
4