Sleep is the Cousin of Death.

...I try to block away the thought of the sequence of events that had led me here as I unpack my bag....

...A maid has helped me into my room and left me to settle in and be down in few hours for further instructions....

...When I walked through the main door, no one crack a smile at me not that if I was smiled at, I would have the energy to return it. I have no atom of excitement left in me....

... It hurts that after 5years of nursing, this is where I end up. As a maid in a stranger's home. As a servant to a household I didn't offend. A household my mother didn't offend. Just some mistake from an ungrateful father. After all these years, I thought we were alright....

...I feel so pained. So angry. I don't know who to focus the blame on, my mother? for marry a gambler? or my father for being useless? or the Germans for not letting their debt die with the debtor?. I fell sick! My grip on the shirt in my hands tighten. I push everything away. My clothes, my bag, my phone. All to the floor. ...

...I fall on my knee and cry. Again. I cry harder than the night before, when will I stop tearing up? how long will this continue to trigger every nerve in my body?...

...I cover my mouth with both hands trying to muffle the heavy sob. Just like the previous night, when I cry and couldn't cry no more I put my head on the pillow . With wet eyes, wet strains of hair and shivering lips- I sleep....

...------...

...I do not know how long I've been out but when I wake up I feel a presence in the room. It's the maid from earlier. She looks at me with disgust. Straight face. Hair in bum. Maid uniform. She looks nothing less than thirty....

..." Sleep is the cousin of death, sleep on if you wish to meet your relation"...

...she says not taking her eyes off me. I don't take mine off her too. She continue...

..." You are late for your first duty. Follow me"...

...I can't go out there looking like this. I know how messy I do look when I wake up from sleep. My hair is everywhere, rumpled dress from the toss and turn, red big eyes..... And the room.... I look around the small room. I see the way her eyes follow mine to examine the floor. ...

...I turn toward the bathroom....

..." No time for that. My lady is waiting"...

...With that she turn around leaving the room. I follow her closely. What is it with the people residing here? was that a part of their training? will I end up like her in this mansion? o can't help but imagine. I don't wish that on myself....

...Have I fucked up already? Not yet. I can still make it right....

...I know....

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