Feelings

Ella's povV:

For the thousandth time in the last five

minutes, I bang my head against the

steering wheel of my car.

Stupid traffic

Stupid cars

Stupid. people who have license.

I could almost see the exit I have to

turn off of and then it was just another

10 minutes away.

But just sitting in this car made me

think, what IF my parents found out I

Snuck out?

Or what if Ally told them?

Or the security guard?

Maybe a maid?

The gardener?

This was sO not a good idea.

I mean, yes, it was probably the best

hour or so of my life, but I don't feel

like spending the rest of my existence

locked up in my room grounded.

Julie.

That girl, she seemed nice.

I mean, we only talked for a minute

or so but I could tell she wasn't one

of those stuck up girls like from those

chick flick movies.

But I know there is probably almost an

impossible chance I will ever get to see

her again.

I always wondered what life would

be like if my parents weren't so full of

money.

What would they be like?

What would I be like?

I hope I would have had a decent

amount of friends.

A boyfriend?

Wait..

HAH

Love life and me aren't even allowed to be part of the same sentence

I mean, I am so not ready for a

boyfriend.

I want to turn eighteen and finally

leave my parents house and enjoy

freedom before that ever happens.

I'm tired of being tied down.

Plus, how would I even talk to him?

Living in the mansion all the time, the

only other person I pretty much talked

to who was around my age was Ally.

I hear a loud beep and I signal an

apologize to the car belhind me and

start pulling up.

Thankfully, the traffic didn't slowly

stop again and I was able to exit.

knew my way back to the house

because I have this route memorized

or even planted into my brain.

Flashback

"Mommy, why is our house so far away

from everybody?" I asked while tugging

on the sleeve of her dress.

She doesn't take a second to glance up

at me as she keeps her eyes glued to her

phone. "Because Ella, this way we can

stay away from all of those bad people

who would want to break into our

house."

But I only let out a giggle, "That doesn't

make sense, not everyone is bad."

"That's because you're only a little girl

Ella, you don't understand." She says

rolling her eyes.

I make eye contact with Ally who was

playing with her purple skirt in the

opposite seat away from me.

She had pigtails in and she was

swinging her legs back and forth, she

nods her head at mom to me.

I shrug my shoulders at her asking

what she is trying to say so she starts to

act like she was eat something.

My eyes go wide as I smile brightly

"Can we go out for icecream again like

we did last time as a family?" I mention

excitedly to her again pulling the

sleeve of her dress, almost in a begging

manner.

"Ella, that's enough."

"But don't you think that we should do

things as a family-."

"Ella I said stop." She looks overs at

me while raising her voice at the same

time.

I only nod before staring outside my

window.

I should have known.

t's no.

And it will always be no.

End offlash back

I try to blink back my tears as I try to

keep my eyes on the road.

I don't know why I was even thinkingthis.

Everything has always led to disappointment.The only thing that has kept me from really wanting to run away for good was hope.

That maybe, just once, I could have

that ice cream moment one last time.

It was just a little treat, celebrating

Dad's promotion that made him the

boss of his own company in the first

place.

I didn't know that would change

everything

That would change us.

Sadly, we always had money.

It was inherited from my grandfather,

aka my dad's father.

Before my dad was handed the

business, we had the mansion, but

what was different was we had time.

Time.

Dad used to spend time with me and

Ally in any way he could.

Whether that be a trip to the park,

maybe a swim in the pool, he truly did

the best to make us have the greatest

childhood that we could have.

And then, there was a shooting.

My grandfather originally owned the

company, but he was shot.

It was by four men.

They wanted to take down the business

for their Own, but their plan didn't

Work.

They were later caught and sentenced

the rest of their lives in jail.

As for my father, he never really

wanted to become the boss of the

Company.

Meaning, he liked being the co-boss,

because he was granted more time

with us, but my mother somehow

convinced him to doit.

I have always been upset with her for

making him take on the job because

ever since that day, he's been taking his

job seriously and with that... is why we

almost never get to see him.

I curse at myself as I wipe up more

tears that were taking up my vision.

I need to stop cryirng.

I need to stop feeling sorry for myself.

But I couldn't help it.

I wasn't just sad... I was angry.

Angry that I couldn't just have a

normal life.

Without knowing it, I push the gas a

little faster.

What didI do to deserve this?

Alone.

Is this what loneliness feels like?

Or maybe it was always like that.

I tried.

I really tried to live the life I was put

into.

But somehow that wasn't enough for

my family.

The family who I just can't longer stand

to be a part of.

What family is a family without a

heart?

A heart to bring us all together.

I grip the steering wheel.

Im tired oi being someone I'm not.

T'm tired of trying to be someone else.

T'm tired of..

But it was too late.

I was too caught up in feeling bad for

myself that I didn't hear it.

I didn't hear the car,

I didn't pay attention to the car.

I didn't see the car.

But it was too Late.

Glass.

Glass was everywhere.

I could barely see, as the air bag came

n ike a punch to the face.

I felt a wet substance on the side of my¥

head..

Blood.

Dark, red, trickling down my face and onto the leather of the car seat Blur.

I tried to see ahead and climb out, but

it was as if I was pulling pulled back

down into my seat.

Like gravity was holding me hostage

against my own free will.

Sirens.

Stinging, thumping through my ears as

the sound blared.

It hurt to listen.

It hurt to see.

It hurt to feel.

I didn't stop myself, I followed the hole

of blackness in my mind as it pulled me

under and under.

Until there was complete darkness.

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