First Crush

My first year in high school still going through the "wondrous" stage of puberty. A boy I didn't know much about yet was so intrigued to know how it felt to be held in his arms...

I was sad and lonley how come everyone else was dating yet I haven't had one person even say I was "pretty" maybe there's something wrong with me. I fell into a deep despair I was desperate, desperate to be loved. But who could possibly love me. I laughed bitterly looking at the hideous face that looked back at me with the same expression through the mirror.

Instead of holding on to false hope. I started to resent him he had fallen for my friend. She was pretty, tall yet slender with the biggest personally I couldn't possibly match. I started to wonder why he didn't see me.

In class they eye'd each other passing smiles across the room waving like fools. I was just bitter but I smiled "happy".

"why can't he f@^%ing see me" I thought to myself

"Hey Nita" my friend called out to me disturbing my thoughts

"yea.." I answered

"So I was texting K" she said with the biggest smile on her face

"......" I froze but caught myslef i envied her even hated her I smiled trying to look interested

"ouuuu what happened"

She went on forever talking about her marvelous time, I didn't care to listen but I showed attentiveness because deep down I know I wanted to know what they were doing what they were saying... I laughed at myself such a boring life I live.

"you've gotta show me" I said shamelessly

"I got you" was all she said later sending me their texts.. which I read of course then truly let go

This story is one I don't like to tell but she left him because he was boring or maybe perhaps she found someone "better" to entertain her, I moved schools and so I stopped talking to her and slowly we drifted apart. To think we were "sooo" close.

He was broken I know he felt deceived, but after all it want my problem. He stopped texting he just..disappeared and for the last 3 years I lived life going through the phases, nothing really had meaning. I didn't hate my life it was just so bland

You'd think a crush is something you'd look forward into experiencing, to like someone to feel maybe even be liked back. Don't get me wrong yes I liked my friends crush but it just so happened that he noticed her before he noticed me

[Hey guys please give Feedback I'm starting Today I promise it won't all be sad 😋 we're just getting started if there's things you'd like to see or want me to improve in please tell you can follow me on Instagram @yours_trulykeisha I respond to all texts Thank you again for reading you are all very much appreciated]

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