Short Story

“She's a happy go lucky person, that's what they thought about her”

It was almost bedtime when I saw my friend sitting at the corner of her room. She was hugging her knees. She closed her eyes to stop her from crying. Bahagya niyang tinampal ang sariling dibdib upang pigilan ang pagbugso ng sakit.

“Don't cry, pain will be weary and leave you soon,” she mumbled to herself. She sniffle for seconds, inhaled exhaled repeatedly then forced a wide smile.

"Okay, back to being gleeful," aniya sa sarili. Forcing a smile became her normal. At first, it was just to gloss what she really feel inside until it became her habit.

Wearing her usual smile, she logged in to her social media account and open the group chat consists of her co-writers slash internet friends. Bumungad sa kaniya ang mga hinaing nito sa group chat. She eagerly read every chat of her friends.

"Nawawalan na ako ng gana sa pagsusulat."

"Hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko. I want to quit."

"Gusto ko matulog, iyong panghambuhay sana."

"Badtrip na naman ako sa bahay, nag-away na naman kami ni mama."

"Bakit lagi akong iniiwan ng mga taong mahalaga sakin? Ka-iwan iwan ba ako?"

Mabilis siyang nagtipa ng reply. "Hey guys cheer up! Huwag kayo masyado magpapa-stress. Kung madami mang dumadating na problema, ipahinga niyo utak niyo. Don't stress too much. Kapag may problema, inhale exhale, smile and talk to yourself — kaya ko ito!— Anyways, hey about your passion, think again the reason why did you write in the first place. Hey, about you quitting, make negativity a motivation to move forward, don't just quit easily. Things will get back to normal. Hey, about you ,wanting to sleep forever— walang forever,"

She laughed at herself, then type a reply again. "Hey, about your misunderstanding with your mom, I know she has a reason, she just love you okay? And lastly, You— people come and go. One will leave but a better person will come. Huwag mong isiping nabawasan an halaga mo. Sila ang may problema dahil sinayang ka nila."

Sent.

She stared at the dots jumping ordersuccesion. Just a mere seconds, her internet friends replied.

"Wahhhh! Thank you talaga. Lagi kang nandyan sa amin."

"Huhuhu, ikaw lang nakakaintindi sakin."

"Thank you huhuhu number 1 supporter talaga kita. I have decided, I'll try to find my pen again."

"I know but okay I'll try to understand my mom. Thank youuuu."

"Thank you, kahit iwan man nila ako. Andyan pa naman kayo. I love you."

She replied, "I love you more guys."

Nakipagkulitan pa sya. Nakatitig lang ako sa kanya. Her lips was curved up but her eyes were curved down. She's laughing but can't hide the gloominess all over her face.

Maya maya ibinaba niya na ang cellphone nya, an indication that she logged out.

She sighed heavily and looked at me, sitting beside her. "This is the reason why I need to be gleeful. They need me. I don't want to add burden."

I remained calm and didn't bother to speak — I can't.

Maya maya hinawakan niya ang isang tin walkie talkie saka inlapit ang kanyang bibig. Her tears started to fall. I didn't move. I'm too consumed by looking at her eyes and didn't notice that she's sobbing already. Now, back to my gloomy friend. The emotions she was containing while talking to her internet friends, came out.

"Hello? Can somebody hear me?" She talked to her tin walkie talkie like there is someone she can talk to from the other line.

No one answered.

"Ok so ahm maglalabas lang ako ng problema ko sayo walkie talkie since I don't have someone to talk to."

Then she started to talk...

"I h-honestly wanted t-to quit this -passion too. I'm l-loosing m-my will tin."

" I have so many problems to handle. H-hindi ko na alam p-paano ko iha-handle a-ang lahat ng iyon."

"B-believe me I t-tried h-hurting m-myself. I w-want to e-end my life but I guess G-God won't let m-me."

"I h-have family i-issues too l-like them but I j-just can't o-open it u-up."

"Truth t-to be t-told, I have so many friends, from internet or n-not but I d-don't felt it. At g-gabi gabi naiiyak na l-lang a-ako, tuwing m-may isang t-taong mahalaga at m-mahal ko ang mang-iiwan. S-Sawang sawa n-na akong mapag-iwanan."

"Tin walkie talkie, Sakit ko na siguro ito. I always put myself for everyone. "

She's still sobbing. Mas dumami ang likidong lumalabas sa mga mata niya.

Umaabot sa akin ang sakit na nararamdaman niya. "Nakikinig lang ako lagi sa mga problema nila without knowing na mas malala ang dala dala ko. I don't know but I still want to be there for them and listen.

Sshhhhh tahan na kaibigan ko.

Ayokong nakikita kang umiiyak dahil nasasaktan din ako.

I smile sadly. Sige magsalita ka lang, huwag mong pigilan ang sarili mo. Andito lang ako nakikinig sayo. I can't speak. I can only listen. Kung walang makikinig sayo sa kabilang linya, ako na lang.

Umiyak siya nang umiyak. Walang humpay sa pagtulo ang kanyang mga luha. Sinasabayan ng dilim ang bawat hikbing lumalabas sa bibig nya. At nandoon lang ako, pinapanood at pinakikinggan siya.

I will always be here.

Hindi man ako marunong mag-comfort. I may not be able to tell any heartmelting advices because I don't know how but I hope my presence can ease the pain. I may not be able to cheer you up in an instant. I may not be able to speak but I will lend you my ears. Just call me. I'm willing to receive all your worries in life.

If the world turns its back at you.

If you think, there's no one beside you.

If you think there's no one to hear all your rants.

I'm still here —

Your friend is here.

Ohh by the way I am your living Tin walkie talkie.

I love you.

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