part 2/3

I have an unfair amount of help in my life. I have a six figure salary and live well within my means. I have family that watches my children when i need. I have amazing neighbors and a church family that pitches in often whenever I need a hand, and still, i had many, many, days where I was so tired from thinking all day, coming home to my screaming 4 year old, and my 10 year old yammering about a tv show, and the dog yapping at the door and the cat under my feet crying, and it's so much. everything needs me, all the time. Notice, I didn't say want. They needed me. Feeling needed is great, but most days I was a mostly empty cup that was trying to wring out every last drop to pour into my little family, and there simply wasn't enough to go around.

Did I ever think of dating? lol, no. Who has time for that? I sure didn't. I was busy enough, and i clearly was ok on my own. Besides, who would want to date a woman who had little kids, and was by all accounts completely independent and very successful? I was sure as hell not ever looking to date for "fun"- ain't nobody got time fo dat! Not to mention, I'm not going to go out of my way to meet anyone, my standards were WAY high after my ex, and again, that's just time i don't have for something i didn't see any particular need for. 

So that's when God said "Hold my beer" and cracked his knuckles.

He was an intern that summer; an absolutely brilliant one. Good looking, hard working, personable, did crazy things like fix his own car, and budget. But there was an over 10 year age gap, and there surely wasn't a chance in hell this guy would want to chill out with (much older) me and my kids in our simple suburban lives. Summer flew by, and before I knew it, he was gone back to school. But he happened to be back for the weekend, and much to our mutual surprise, he kissed me... and we've been a thing ever since.

Oh. My. God. If I knew this was what healthy relationships were... Ya'll. I can't even with this guy. He uses his words to tell me what he's thinking and feeling, even if he is pretty sure i'm not gonna like it. You GUYS. I don't have to guess what he's thinking! He just tells me! What a gift... he budgets, he watches his money. This man is 22 years old and has a credit score over 800! I can talk to him for an entire day about deep stuff, like existential things, or science, movies, tv shows, or books with actual plot lines and not just explosions. He asks me about my day, every day, and when i tell him, he actually remembers and cares. I don't have a single **** to give about getting flowers or jewelry or any of that other crap, I just want a companion, ya know? So for valentine's day, he flooded my inboxes on every possible channel he has to contact me with everything he could think of to make me smile-- memes, sweet love notes, pictures of cats, whatever. The first time i went to his apartment (he's got several roommates), i was DEAD TIRED from the day, and pretty much passed out on his bed. I woke up like 2-3 hours later and was talking with one of his roommates and found out that he had gone around to all the doors close by and wd-40'd them while i slept to make sure the squeaking didn't wake me up

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