Chapter 3: Clara Elena Anderson / Catherine Sara Fria de Kurai

The Kingdom of Japan and Catherine Sara Fria de Kurai, memories I don’t wanna remember. A life which was better of forgotten. A new body, but still the same mind. I was Clara Elena Anderson now, but still also Catherine Sara Fria de Kurai the only princess of the Kingdom of Japan and the only rightful successor to the throne. Dying at the early age of 15, though assassination. A short live indeed, I already surpassed the age I had before dying, in my last life. I know so much about Japan, that I am already tired of it, so why am I sitting here at my desk now, doing this shitty presentation. My past which can’t be forgotten due to the changes of my body. The older I got the more the ‘me’ from before is coming out, even my past desire is difficult to suppress. So yeah, as my DNA changed over the years of living it wasn’t wrong to say that I became a clone of my previous self. A person with the god’s blood running through its veins. An existence which wasn’t needed anymore in the current lifetime. Humans didn’t have a need for rulers anymore. There was no need for ‘Jing and Jang’ or better for life and death which the Kingdom of Ireland and the Kingdom of Japan represented in the darkness. I, who was the successor of the darkness, was trained for assassination since I was a child. Killing was the daily routine of a Kurai while growing up, a part of our training. On the outside Kurai was an ordinary royal family with a little more influence than others, but yeah that’s just a façade, an illusion, or a mask we wear to hide our true selves, our emotions and feelings. The dark truth is the Kurai royal family was merciless, when someone had done something wrong, there were killed by us, without a second thought.

Even now it’s difficult to suppress my killing instinct, I am like a wild cat being imprisoned in a tiny house. The instincts still there, just that they became dull over the time being imprisoned here. The sad truth is that the person, who I once was, wasn’t needed anymore in the current society. Murder was a sin, worth a lifelong imprisonment. I who don’t know much more than killing was something the current society disapproved about. The world truly became a better place. At least for them, not for a Kurai! An assassination family, known once as the ruler of the underworld, descendants of the God of Death himself, as a member of such a family, being restricted not to kill is the worst punishment given.

But yeah, that’s something I couldn’t possibly engraft in the presentation. Then like I said the outside only had known the royal family of Japan like any other royal family, just that ours had a little more influence the same goes with the royal family of Ireland. Two families which couldn’t be much more opposites from each other, but who knows how the families’ remained friends with each other for a couple of thousand years. Truly a mystery! But perhaps it’s like the saying goes ‘opposites attract’, like a magnet.

I let out a sigh, why out of all people need I, to present the kingdom of Japan, just because I look like my previous self, what a joke. This teacher knows something, that’s for sure! If she reveals our identities, I will kill her for sure.

***

“Brother … Don’t!” I was weak, my body laying in a pool of blood. Slowly regenerating though my powers. Still, slowly dying, because of extensive blood loss and new deep open knife wounds. The average human would have been dead long ago. At such a point, I pitied myself for not being normal. I needed to stand such a pain longer than others ever will. Slowly dying from torture, even as a successor to the royal family of Japan. Yes, that was the problem I was the successor not Him. I didn’t even want to succeed the family, didn’t want to be queen the same goes with these powers, it would have been better if I was born without them. Why was I chosen for the first successor to the god-of-death- blood after so long? It’s been over a thousand years, since there was a successor born again in our family, so why did I needed to inherit it? Inheritance was not something that came for free, that’s for sure, as I was a living example for it right now. While having these thoughts, a knife hit me again, it was the final blow before dying, at least the last one I can remember.

***

I shot up. Grabbing my head, having a hard time breathing. Comforting myself that it was just another of these nightmares. Why did it feel so real again? When will it end? How long do I need to be haunted by my previous life? By my death, by the way how my own blood related brother killed me.

My brother who held the position of crown prince before I was born, was addicted to power and social standing. The only thing he ever wanted since childhood was to become the king of Japan. To be the ruler over the Kurai family and the leader of the assassins, this means the same as being the leader of the whole underworld. But my birth destroyed all these plans, as I was born with the power of our ancestor. I was the problem my brother needed to get rid of, like he did fourteen years later, on my birthday.

I looked at my room which was designed in black and light purple, which had the same design as the one room I lived in my past life. Getting up from my canopy bed, walking to the big balcony to make sure I was really back to reality.

I let out a sigh, remembering that I had total ‘luck’ or better no luck at all, as I was reborn into a body that also had an older brother. It was a weird feeling he was so freaking overprotective of me. But I just can’t really interact with older men or even my ‘new’ brother as he always reminded me of my brother from my previous life, he pretended to be a good older brother all my life, till to my fourteen birthday the day when he killed me with his own two hands, just to be the successor to our family. Just so he could rule. Yeah, that wasn’t something I could understand, the struggle for power! If he had told me sooner, I would have given him the spot without a second thought. But would that have truly been the right decision? Now that I have died once but still was born again with these powers, which caused the whole tragedy, I truly needed to ask myself, would that have been the right decision? Or was I reborn to overthink my action? Was there eventually a reason why I was chosen as the successor to the god of Death?

Letting out a sigh yet again, stopping my thoughts form spreading. To think over my decision from my past life. After a while I was closing the curtains. Getting in my dressing room, taking out one of my self-made dresses, which was in the designs I liked to wear back in my previous life. Now in this timeline the style would be similar to what they call ‘Lolita’ here. It was a blue dress with a colour change to white in the last 10 cm which was an ending shortly before the end of the knee, the dress had blue and white ornaments on it, all of them being ribbons. The skirt part of the dress had many layers the top one being see-through and was a little longer than the other parts of the skirt, ending with a blue line. Another blue line roughly 20 cm above the other one with a few ribbons in the same blue tone. A white and bit see-through blouse with a blue ribbon at the end of the sleeve under it. To that I was wearing white tights and shoes with a little height of 2 to 3 cm. My hair was styled in twin tails held with blue ribbons together.

After glancing shortly on the watch hanging on the wall. 2 p.m. Time to eat, huh? It had only been a little more than an hour, after the school ended. It was only the first day after the holydays, but I was already mentally drained. Well, whatever - this was simply how God intended my life to be. After taking another look in the body sized mirror. I was on my way to the dining room.

***

I sat down on my usual seat after arriving in the dining table greeting my parents with “good day to you mother and father” at that point I needed to hold myself from calling them royal father and royal mother as I did in my previous life. My father greeting me with the same old:

“Can’t you grow up? Stop wearing such childish old school clothes. Get a grip already you are 17 years old, aren’t you?!”

Why are you asking? Have you forgotten how old I am? Stop telling me already to grow up. As if you can’t get it, I can’t grow. I am stuck with that look for life, aren’t I? That was simply the way how it was! I had already accepted it being so in my previous life. That is why I stop looking for a new clothing style since that age, I stopped growing. So why should I look for a new style now? Because you, my father said so? What a joke! I haven’t even accepted you! I haven’t even accepted this new family! And even if I looked for a new style it is not like it would suit this body. A style for adults, which mostly showed your frame, wouldn’t fit someone like me!

I just sat in my seat gracefully, not bothering what the man in the navy-blue suit at the edge of the table said. He was a tall, black-haired businessman with a full-grown beard and snow-white glasses which where over his aquamarine blue eyes. For him it was like I was ignoring him, and he would be right I did! I never cared for this family after all.

My mother was just standing there watching my father insult me yet again. A daily occurrence in my second life. In my past, my father died in the war when I was about 7 years old, my mother had lived secluded ever since and died shortly after, as she couldn’t handle my fathers – the emperors – death. The royal family was ruled by my grandmother in that time. That was supposed to go on till I had my debut ball in my fifteenth spring. But it never came, I died before I could even try on my finished dress made by madam Akari – she was a famous designer and even if you were royalty, it was difficult to get one made in a lifetime. But I never got to see the finished version …. I died before I was even legally considered an adult. …And here I thought the culture had progressed, but it seems, looking at my mother – women were sill their husbands’ slaves.

A few moments passed then the women with shoulder long light curly blond hair, who always wears what is currently trendy and wore glasses spoke up:

“Where is your sister Clara?”

“Which one are you asking for? The one who is studying in Switzerland or my twin?”

“Isn’t it obvious that I’m looking for Frida?!”

The women who self-proclaimed herself as my mother seemed like she was offended by me asking a question. For her it was like I was asking the obvious! Even though I knew which one she meant while asking the question. But I didn’t care. If she were like this with other people it was obvious that they wouldn’t be able to understand her questions, at least not all of them, then she wasn’t phrasing her queries right or rather she left important words out, which let people misunderstand. But for me, who was trained for and in high society since birth, this was mere child’s play! In high society, they hid their emotions and intentions always “talking around the bush”, or so they would call it in this timeline, to survive in there. I knew just looking into their eyes even if they “hung on the thought” of hiding it.

I sighed at her remark, answering with a, “I do not know” which had a touch of historicism, elegance, mannerism, and royalty in it. A touch, that I couldn’t get rid of, even if 17 years had past since my reincarnation, I was still the same, nothing had changed in me. The only real change was, that I could no longer stand older men … No wrong way of saying it, I despise them!

I took the fork and knife in my hand and cut the steak, without making a sound, sitting straight, not making an unnecessary move, a part of my body was inactive and only my hands moved, even while eating. Also, an unnatural part, which didn’t suit this society, that I couldn’t get rid of in my time of being here. My parents seemed to had intentions of making conversation with me, but I ignored them, then 「熟睡している間は人は話さないでしょうし、食事中も同じです！」 (“A person wouldn’t talk while being sound asleep, and the same thing applies to when people are eating!”) was what I was taught as table manner. So even while eating and drinking, I sought after making no sound at all, that was ill mannerism after all! And through that it became embodied into my soul, using my social skills and etiquettes with eyes closed was no problem at all, or better said it took effort to hide it more than anything else.

As soon as my father laid the silverware, as the last one, on its designated place to show that he finished eating, I stood up making a just slight bowed curtsey – which also showed that we where the same rank or that he was even under me – I looked up and said gracefully “I will excuse myself then.”

Letting my parents stand there bewildered and in shock, even if they had seen me growing up since birth this was still not a behaviour which they could understand and comprehend, every day with every meeting, to them it was like they had seen a princess straight out of a novel, or back from the past in front of their eyes. And they were right, me and my twin might be considerable persons similar to princesses out of fantasy novels! After all this whole reincarnation thingy was, such a familiar fantasy novel scenario. To familiar for a person living like this!

***

I locked my door shortly after arriving in my room, letting myself fall on the light purple canopy bed, after closing the curtains to my windows and balcony. Drawing with my right hands index finger in the air, which let, out of an others point of view, strange unreadable signs appear. But it was a sight, I was too familiar with, the unreadable language used in it, was readable for me, I was the only one who could one this magic! Frida’s was similar even if she could come to the same ending, it was a different type! Afterall it was different languages for two different gods. I was the only one who possessed such power, I was even the only one in the past. Normally the more descendants there are to come the powers thins just like the origin of the blood that is running to veins. It was thought that the power of the Kurais had run out long ago, or that there were no longer deemed worthy of possessing such power, that our ancestor the God of Death gave us. But surprisingly I was born, all the rumours in the castle died out not long after. Then I was born in the nick of time, then the royal family of Japan and Ireland were about to clash swords with each other, after the birth of the princess Mary Flora Eleanor von Davidson, which inherited the strong blood ties with her ancestor the God of light. The power, between the renowned to be the strongest royal families, became unstable they were no longer regular Ying and Yang anymore, then one side was stronger, way stronger. The Kurai’s would have been on the brink of extinction if not someone who also inherited the strong power of our ancestor was born in the edge of time. That is how our friendship started, at the start more like a prevention of war, but at the end more like sister hood without blood ties. Then like she liked to say: “We are not sisters by blood but by heart!” and I think so to, even if we had now archived these blood relations, which we weren’t able to in the past. Our relationship at least in my eyes had only grown stronger, rather than weaker.

I let myself fall out of thought, the only thing I can truly think of by looking at my memories the important parts of Kurai were about Magic, underworld and the connection to the Davidson royal family and most of the thing I important, was stuff I couldn’t possibly engraft in the presentation, about the Japan’s royal family in my time, definitely not such an easy topic for someone who lived there, than the important parts where left forgotten in the history or never came to light. So, what seemed unimportant back then, seemed to be an important part of history now.

As I was brainstorming for my ideas for my protect, barely noticed the time slipping out of my hand, the sun was down. Leaving a beautiful dark sky there instead, the time I felt truly awake as a Kurai, the darkness. I glanced at the clock and walked out of my room.

***

I knocked lightly on the door, which I shortly opened after and walked up to her. I smiled letting out a:

“How is it going, sister? I assume that you´re almost done already, huh?”

The moment I saw her eyes it was an instant reminder, that she also hadn’t let go of our trauma of being killed. And that this topic was really killing us from inside out.

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