Cake is Sweeter than Us

"Happy Birthday, love! Make a wish! Make a wish!" She cheered, smiling at me while holding the cake between us.

Her eyes look happy, but when you look within them, you will see how drained she is. Her lips curve a smile, but I see how hard she tries to put it on. On my special day, my birthday, she puts her mask on. I look straight into her eyes, wondering why she did it.

"I wish to break up with you," I said, making the room silent for a while.

Her mask cracks. I can now clearly see how confused she is. She doesn't seem to cry any minute now. Her lips struggle to find words to say. She roams her eyes around the room, trying to find anything that may prove that I was pranking her, but she can't find any clue.

"...but why? What did I do wrong?" She asks, still confused.

"Nothing. I don't want to be with you anymore." I answer, turning my back, trying to conceal the emotions slowly building up.

"That's it?" She sighs, followed by a minute of silence.

"You may leave now." I look to the left, enough to see her from my peripheral vision.

She's standing there while facing the cake that is in her hand. I look away to stop myself from running back and hug her.

"Fine, Let's break up." She calmly said and left quietly, which shattered my heart.

My mask melts from the emotions that I can't conceal anymore.

I lose my balance, causing my body to hit the floor. My eyes became blurry from the hot liquid flowing uncontrollably from them. I listen to the painful silence and the scream of my evil mind.

'You're worthless!'

'She doesn't deserve you!'

'You can't make her happy!'

'You only bring pain to her!'

"I'm sorry," I whisper to myself.

I can't tell her how sorry I am for being her boyfriend. For making her unhappy and draining her, for expecting her to be understanding at all times. I can't even ask her how she is instead of throwing tantrums whenever she expects from me and thinks that she can't understand me. I'm so focused on myself and the future I'm picturing in my mind, leaving no time for her. I care so much for myself, what I want I feel.

She was energetic and friendly before I came into her life. I ruined her.

She's smiling at me because I pictured our relationship to be always happy, without dramas yet I don't make effort to make her happy.

She's agreeing with me because I told her that she should understand what I want yet I didn't ask her what she wants.

And now that I want to break up with her, she agreed trying to understand my reason even though it was all my fault.

I made her put her mask on whenever she was with me. I made things hard for her for I am not the ideal boyfriend she deserves.

"If I could turn back the time... I would make her feel her worth. I will put a smile on her face, the real one. I wouldn't let her feel drained. I will... I will..." My voice cracks and the words I'm saying are swallowed by the cries.

Yet, I know what I did. She's already sad, drained, and tired of this relationship.

"If I could turn back the time... I will..."

"Then turn it back, court me again." I hear her voice and almost think I am hearing things and it is just a part of a painful experience.

"I won't make it easy for you." This time I turn around still sitting on the floor.

She's still here since I broke down minutes ago, quietly listening to what I was blurting out.

"You didn't leave?" I ask her an obvious question.

"You forgot that I'm stubborn, and I know every detail of you." She smiles at me, and then she closes the gap between us.

"...but why?"

"I already chose you, my love."

"But--," She stops me by caressing my face.

"Ssshh No but's, okay. You should not end things just because you realize that you're doing it the wrong way. You're just making yourself regret the things you already had."

"I'm sorry love for being your boyfriend. I promise I will be better for you. Thank you and I love you." I look deep into her eyes and finally, I told her.

"Ooops. Ex-boyfriend. We broke up minutes ago, you forgot?"

"Love!" She just laughs at me and walks up to the table where the cake at.

"Come here and wipe your messy face. Let's eat the cake I bought. It's sweeter than you."

I watch her cut the cake smiling, and I'm sure she's not wearing any mask.

......•......

...Written by Mori Sephii...

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