don't lose your way home

He’s back on the shore. He doesn’t know why, but it feels right. The ocean has all but lost its power over him, but somehow the calmness of being near it remains. Jisung’s got a report due soon, so Mark left him at his desk to finish. It’s for the best, really, because the weather is getting worse. The storm clouds are getting ever darker and the waves are crashing against the beach with more intensity. It doesn’t bother him, but he thinks that he should head back soon. If Jisung saw this weather, he would have a fit that Mark stayed out so long in it, reprimanding him that he was going to push the limits of his immunity too far. He still thinks Jisung’s worry is unwarranted considering his internal functions still remember the coldness of his birthplace, how it seemed to seep into his bones and steal the warmth away.

Donghyuck was always warmer than him, somehow, and he’d let Mark use him a personal heater whenever needed. Even his lips had been warm, so saying that kissing him was like kissing the sun wasn’t a stretch.

But this weather reminds him of the chilling depths, and he’s not wearing anything other than a thin shirt and sweatpants, so he thinks that maybe he should go back. He takes one last look at the dull white-crested waves and begins to turn away, but a suspiciously dark shadow moves closer to him, and Mark immediately tenses.

Kelpies and sirens are two halves of the same coin, but it’s the differences between their similarities that make them such bitter rivals. Every siren becomes accustomed to recognizing the signs of an approaching kelpie before they learn to sing, so Mark doesn’t have a single doubt that a kelpie is currently coming toward him. The instinct to run overtakes the instinct to fight, and he’s beginning to make a break for the forest to return to Jisung’s house when he catches sight of someone sitting on the kelpie’s back. That makes him pause: no one comes out of the water riding a kelpie. They only get dragged in.

He’s further stunned when he recognizes the brown hair and tan skin and fierce eyes that peek out from under his bangs, and Mark’s astonished eyes track Donghyuck’s every movement as he reels the kelpie in. He’s stuck in a limbo of emotions, unsure whether the happiness or confusion will win, and the tears that threaten his vision burn as he holds them back.

Donghyuck doesn’t have his wings and he has legs, and Mark has to process this because it means Donghyuck is human now. Or as human as a siren can become. He sees the orange and red scales Donghyuck paraded so proudly on his arms and neck and, when he turns around to face the kelpie, the raised scars of his wings through his soaked shirt. His heart clenches painfully.

Donghyuck sees him then. He must have already known Mark was there, because how else would he have had such perfect timing? But he still pauses once he’s fully turned to face, the sheer enormity of the moment freezing them both in place.

Behind Donghyuck, the kelpie tosses its head and snorts, stomping in place once before turning to run into the waves. Its black body dissolves into white sea foam as it enters the water, mixing with the tumultuous sea as if it was one and the same. That’s how they used to be, he thinks to himself absently. But Donghyuck was supposed to be back home and Mark was supposed to accept that he’d never see him again, and even though it tore his heart apart to love Jisung knowing that Donghyuck was still out there, he’d told himself it wouldn’t amount to anything to hold onto it. So he’d moved that love to a corner of his heart and covered it with memories that collected dust as the years passed. He feels it claw its way back up and fill him, remembers why he and Donghyuck fit so well.

He wants to reach out for him, wants to hold him in his arms again, but the shock keeps him in place even as the yearning in his heart tugs him forward. Donghyuck stands in his place too, too far and yet so much closer than he had been.

The moment breaks when Donghyuck opens his mouth.

“Mark?” His name carries through the space between them as if it didn’t exist, and Mark feels the last bit of his restraint break. He takes one staggering step toward Donghyuck and the uncertainty is broken, and Donghyuck rushes forward. He tackles him, the scales on the underside of Donghyuck’s arm scratching his own, but it only reminds him that he’s real, that he’s here. They collapse there, holding each other like the lifelines they used to be, and the tears leak out, small crystals dotting the corners of his eyes.

With a broken gasp, Mark can only ask, “Why?”

“You weren’t there anymore,” Donghyuck replies, his face shoved into Mark’s shoulder and muffling his words. “There wasn’t any point. I hated them, I hated everything they tried to turn me into.” And he understands that pull away from home – he only wishes it had treated Donghyuck more nicely than himself. There’s the overwhelming need to look at Donghyuck again, to take in his features like this might be the last time he sees him because he doesn’t trust the world to let him have happiness. He leans back a little, just enough to see the tiredness and exhaustion in Donghyuck’s eyes, evidence of sleepless nights and a relentless pursuit to find him. He traces the scars on his shoulders, fresher than his own, and tells him with his eyes how he understands.

“I’m so happy you’re here,” Mark whispers. He kisses Donghyuck’s cheekbones and wipes the tears from the corners of his eyes, still letting the fact sink in that Donghyuck is back. Not thousands of miles away. Not in the ocean with the rest of their clan. Here, on the beach with him, as the storm comes ever closer to them.

“Let me kiss you.” He isn’t sure if it comes from him or Donghyuck, but it doesn’t matter.

The best way he can describe it is bittersweet. The love that they used to have shadowed by the distance that separated them, the knowledge that they have no idea what happened to the other in the past four years. But Mark wants to relearn the intricacies of Donghyuck, what makes him laugh with the lightness of the breeze and smile like a sun ray. He wants to intertwine their lives together until he can’t tell the difference between what he had lived before and what he is living now. They separate with a sigh and stare at each other again.

“Come with me. There’s someone you should meet.”

The door to Jisung’s house has always creaked when opened no matter how many times Mark oiled it, so he’d given up the second year in. It means that Jisung knows he’s back, and he’s already coming down the stairs to meet him.

“Mark, I was about to come–,” Jisung’s face appears around the corner and he stops short when he sees Donghyuck and Mark holding hands, eyes widening a little in surprise. Mark smiles a little uncertainly at him because even though Jisung is well aware of who Donghyuck is to him, he isn’t sure how well this will go over. He doesn’t want Jisung to feel lied to, doesn’t want Donghyuck to be left out, doesn’t want to upset either of them because he knows it’ll hurt too much to choose. “Is that–?”

“Donghyuck, this is my boyfriend Jisung,” he says tentatively, waiting for Donghyuck’s reaction. On the short walk, he’d mentioned Jisung, but Donghyuck hadn’t said anything in response, so Mark had let him think about it. For a moment, he merely blinks at Jisung, assessing him in that way he has to see if new people are worth his time. Then the sunny smile peeks through, and Mark breathes a sigh of relief. Donghyuck walks toward Jisung and gives him a quick kiss on the cheek, smiling at the blush that quickly overtakes Jisung’s face.

“You’re pretty cute, Jisungie,” Donghyuck teases, already falling into a familiar role with him, and Jisung rolls his eyes the way he does when Mark does something stupid and he still loves him for it. He leans back against the door frame and watches them fondly, patiently waiting for all of them to settle into this new routine.

The magic of Pine Beach lies in Jisung and Donghyuck now, and Mark wouldn’t have it any other way.

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