Finding hopes again

I am not interested in love anymore . It's not like I'm done trying it's just that it got too boring . Too much time and effort and pain. I'm not looking to get a girlfriend. But for some reason, the person I have this crush on has not seen me that way. she keeps staring at me when she thinks no one else is watching, but then she will blush and look away. It's hard to figure out what she means when all I know is that I want her to like me back. Maybe if I show her how I feel I can make things better?

The only problem with my plan is that the more time I spend alone with her, the harder it is to stop myself from blushing. When she walks up to me and smiles I always end up smiling back. She likes me back but won't say anything about it, even though she constantly stares at me and talks to me like we've known each other forever. I hope she'll come around soon. If nothing else, it would be fun to hang out outside of school.

"Hey." She says as she takes a seat beside me on my bed. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing much." I reply. We sit together in silence for a few minutes before I decide to take the plunge and ask the question that's been burning on my tongue for weeks now.

"Um...are you busy right now?" My voice trembles slightly with nerves. The fact that I'm asking the girl I like to hangout with me after school is definitely not normal but it doesn't really matter. I can survive a little embarrassment.

"Uh..." She says slowly, "Not really, why?"

She looks so adorable when she isn't focusing on me. It makes me want to kiss her, but I keep that thought to myself for now and go with my original idea.

"Do you wanna go for a walk around the school grounds?" Her face lights up as soon as I finish speaking.

"That sounds great!"

So we head outside. It feels kind of weird being out here without anyone around. Usually during these times, everyone would be in their classrooms or the halls, but this time is completely empty. There aren't any people walking through the hallways, just the two of us. It's peaceful, I wish we could stay out here forever.

"Are you nervous?" She asks me quietly. This time I do blush.

"A little bit, yeah. What made you think that?"

"Well, I mean, the last time you asked someone to hangout with you they said 'no' right? So maybe you' re wondering why I said yes?"

"Huh. Yeah, that's kind of true. Do you want to talk about it?"

We walk a little farther down the path until we reach the fountain that sits near the center. It was built back in our first year in middle school. I remember sitting by it every day waiting for her. We were both so awkward and shy about our feelings, but eventually our relationship grew stronger and I started getting butterflies whenever I looked at her. Eventually, the teachers decided that enough was enough and forced us to confess to each other. I guess they figured there was no harm in it. We' ll never know what changed those changes in our relationship.

We sit side by side, facing the fountain. It's pretty quiet aside from the sound of cars driving past and the occasional birds chirping. I take a deep breath. Now or never.

"Sakura, I like you."

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