Sour grapes - part 2

Under the big huge blue sea with no wind to cool down. Water is dropping from the cell wall. Sweats. I hate it Nah. “Dear air, where are you? Did you go to meet your lover? That’s why you aren’t here? I miss you”. Talking in front of a dead tree. I never felt something so rough but this skin. All cracked up. It could use all the water in the sea. Or maybe something warm, warm enough to have flowers again. I wish I could give you this hug but you see I’m missing someone so I’m not in a position where I can give hug. Yet I’m here hugging you. I hope you get cherry blossoms again. Just hang in there for a bit. It’s not hard I promise.”

The door got closed so hard that I blamed the wind. Maybe the wind got angry and for that and he left me. I’m sorry wind. An unknown thing got over me. Thumb….. with a huge sound like a sudden big balloon got blasted.

An apoplectic attack. The door got closed. Only can blame it on the wind. Even though I know it wasn’t. from the sound of it, I can say that it’s an apoplectic attack. The closing sound was enough for it. She has gotten her blood boiling again.

Things started to go blank again. A silent world that I thought only exits under the sea. Deep under the sea. At late night. A silent world that only exits after everyone goes to sleep. Sleep to escape reality. The only moment when the soul enjoys leaving the body. Leaving the tired figure; that travels all over the world by visiting dimensions.

But for me…. At that moment surrounding living things, things got blank. Nothing but a blank moment. Blank moment and overthinking. heart started beating fast like when you see your first love yet this isn’t love. It’s anger. Sometimes out of anger, with a blank mind as the whole world get silent and blurry, I find myself with blood.

Blood. Blood. The color red woke up me. It slaps the shit out of me. Slowly breath got heavy to slow. Sound of angry door slap covered with a bloody floor. Pains in veins are like drugs. Slowly everything was on cloud nine. He was carrying her as a wedding bright shining bride got carried by her lover.

But it’s not real. Love is not real, or is it? I don’t know. I forgot that feeling. It’s like it never exits in me. like never. It got vanished into the thin air. I thought no one cares. But I remember him carrying her as nothing else in this world matters. Living in memories without any rent.

Watching him here suddenly I lost the ground that I was standing. Again, it feels like cloud nine. That sunken memory started to float again. I realized again it was always the addicted moments of time. A playdate of time. It was never him.

Yet my overthinking brain, he told me a lie. It is him. For him, it’s cloud nine. Sounds funny right? But it isn’t. I didn’t know he could greet me here. Normally. Nothing ever happened. If Ria finds out about this, I wonder how she would react. I don’t want her to get hurt. I hope she doesn’t get the wound opened up again. He still looks great with those dark blue ocean eyes and reddish newly colored hair. A living manga character who has fallen on earth by losing his path.

“Hi. Hana.”

The next thing I knew I was surrounded by a sunken memory and a fallen angel

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