CHAPTER 1

I opened the door controlling the rhythm of my heartbeat for fear of disturbing my fathers slumber. I knew he had extraordinary hearing beyond words. As I quietly tip toed toward him, stopping right in front of his bed. Looking at his face left me with thoughts of all the times he treated me horribly.

At first I may have felt pity for him, seeing him downing himself in alcohol and pleasure, ever since mom left. As selfish as it was, I just wanted him to look at me with those adoring eyes he used to. Instead what I got in return was hateful eyes. Yes those hateful eyes left me with terror and made me tremble miserably as all I could do was just cry streams of tears. Ah- I really used to be such an idiot, to think he would look at me with the eyes of a father.

All I could do was sigh with regret and sorrow as I left the room. I may be running away from this house but.. I can’t stand it any longer. Ah- really any longer of expectations and dreaming of something I will never have just hurts. It hurts so god damn bad.

Oh-I’m “crying..? I thought I was over this..” I said just as lightly as a whisper afraid I would wake my father or rather anyone would hear me, even if there is no one around.

I couldn’t help but look back as I walked towards the opened door.

This place has left me with many happy memories and so many miserable ones. I would be lying if I said I didn’t feel the slightest remorse leaving my father by himself in this lonely house. But a part of me believes he will do just fine without me, right? I mean he blames me for mom leaving and… god this makes me such an asshole. Mom left and now me too, leaving him just like that, by himself.. “Will he be alright alone…?”

Damn! Why do I care..! This… it was all on him anyways..! mumbling as I gnashed my teeth together hoping this would help lessen the guilt I felt.

I continued walking which eventually turned into running. I ran and ran until I couldn’t anymore as I eventually ran out of breath.

“This dream again…” mumbling to myself with the slightest displeasure. I hated this.. this dream. No..! Let’s not think about it, it’s not important anymore..! I thought as I shook my head from side to side.

I sprung up out of my bed recalling that I had picked up a peculiar person yesterday. I frowned at the thought. Maybe it was the fact that I was feeling generous at the moment and I hated that. I’m most certainly not that kind of person.

As I continued walking down the hallway feeling as time slowed down, finally making my way toward the guest room. As I strode toward the bed, I saw him peacefully sleeping.

“Ah-“ Even though I couldn’t see his face clearly last night he still looks handsome. I couldn’t help but get a little red as I moved my hand closer to his face. Just wanting to move his unkempt hair out of the way so I could see his face more clearly.

“I can’t help it, if he’s already this good looking, won’t he be even more so once these strands of hair is out of his face..” I couldn’t help but mumble slightly. Just the thought turned my cheeks red.

“What are you doing..?”

I paused at the sudden cold voice that came from below. Looking downward into his eyes, I could see how cautious and on guard he was.

“I-I” I stuttered as I was caught red handed. My cheeks flushed bright red, but yet his voice was so mesmerizing. It kept replaying in my head over and over again.

“Go on I’m waiting.” I could hear the irritation in his voice. As it was inexplicably low, causing me to shiver with goosebumps.

I swallowed hard as I finally gathered the courage to speak, with the calmest voice I could muster. “I was- umm- I just wanted to move your hair out of your face, and I wanted to see your face more clearly, since I thought you were good looking…” I ducked my head, hoping it would save me of the embarrassment I felt. When I went to look up, I could see his face flushed red. Seeing this cracked a smile on my lips, making my heart pound extremely fast in my chest, I didn’t know why, but at the same time a part of me wanted to know.

I didn’t pay much attention to it as a certain someone caught my eyes. He was smiling, and it made me grin from ear to ear.

I was captivated by that smile, making my heart thump hard against my chest. He seemed to notice as he stopped smiling.

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