why

can you help me find the real me. I don't know who iam anymore. I act how people tell me , why ,why can't I act as my own . it's like I have been made out of what others want me to do. why just why I'm I like this. all alone left with nothing but my self .everyone is talking, laughing but look at me siting all alone in the corner. sometimes I feel left out when I'm with my friends not even my friends need me anymore. no real friends that I can share my feelings with and all my friends are busy with there best friend .I'm just a back up friend if their best friend is not there with them.they use me.

everyone thinks that l'm creepy no friends no social media no love life they always see me like I'm a monster . why just why can't I have fun. I always get mad it myself. sometimes everything is annoying, everyone laughing, talking,have fun . I could never be like everyone now these times I have lost interest in everything I used to love painting. now I hate painting I think it's annoying to do I loved to sing too but now I think that I was toooooo stupid .

all I can do now is cry just cry. I can cry all day Yet I won't get tired. yes I will cry for hours for nothing. there will be no reason for me to cry but people's words will be enough.one word is enough for me to cry . even if it's for fun like if someone say like your stupid everyone would laugh I would laugh it off as well but inside it hurts . I will lock myself in my room and cry.even my dad don't need me anymore low grades, doesn't interact with people, doesn't help with chores either Iam just I my own world

so you must be wondering who I am right.i'm low self-esteem high school boy

all that I can remember for my childhood to this point in life that I was bullied alot I mean alot. even now I'm lonely and broken but everything changed when she entered my life

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wait

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wait

let's start from the beginning

Ever After my mother died in a car accident I always blame myself for it because I was the one who told her to buy me McDonald's she said no many times but I insisted she finally said yes. I was soo happy but it didn't last long while she a taking a turn a bus ..........

this happened when I was 8

my dad have been drinking ever since this happened he lost his job and after my mother died my grandmother died as well this left a big wound on my dad he even had a few heart attack as well

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