Marriage is not as easy as 123

My name is Ayat and this is my story about how i learnt that the love I so wanted was a thorn in my heart,how I realized I only need the love of Allah in my life

It’s 4 in the morning , i get up to pray .I always feel a sense of serenity when I pray to my creator, when my forehead touches the ground ,the weight of my heart seemed to lessen like the rock on it was lifted . A surge of peace flows though my whole body . I walk to the kitchen and start making breakfast. My husband didn’t spend the night at home. He really shocked me when he called at around 11 at night to say " I’m really busy at work tonight I don’t think I’m going back tonight so don’t wait up but I will be back in time for breakfast ." It’s been a year and a half since we got married and it’s the first time he spent the night out , I really don’t know but really dislike this feeling. I know I’m overreacting it’s not like we’ve known each for years, our marriage was an arranged marriage but I really did fall for him. His the type that I always dreamed of his a religious man , responsible, respectful, loving, funny and mature. His personality I think was what I fell in love with the most. I was done with the breakfast and I’m always happy when I’m cooking and I always wanted to be a chef but my husband wasn’t the type to allow his wife to work , so I gave up and I work from home as a salesperson after having dozens of conversation with him for him to agree.

I set the table and started to clean the house, it’s not super big but for a couple with no kids sadly it was enough. " ya Allah please bless us with a child ya Rabi "a child is what I yearn for, child are innocent bundles of joy .I’ve always wish to have a big family for myself. "Inshaallah " I encouraged myself. A knock at the door brought me out of my thoughts , I put on my hijab and opened the door to find my exhausted looking husband but it didn’t hide his beauty . My husband’s name really suits him (Zayn ) meaning beauty. "Asc dear you look tired come inside "I helped him out of his coat "Wcs , yeah I am very exhausted I had a long night.is breakfast ready " "yeah let eat " I don’t know but he seems weird but I shrugged it off thinking he might be tired .after eating he went to the room and I didn’t want to bother him so I went through my emails for awhile and zany suddenly called. 'Why is he shouting ' "dear what happened ?" I asked " what’s wrong, where are the papers that were in the cabinet huh ?"" . "Papers ???I didn’t see any papers here when I was cleaning ". "WHAT IS THE Problem HUH!!!!HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW ,YOU DO NOTHING AROUND HERE?? , AM THE BREAD WINNER WHILE YOU ONLY DO CHORES AND YOU CAN'T EVEN DO THAT RIGHT !!! GET LOST !!!!!!!" I’m dumbfounded we’ve had our fight but he has never yelled at me ' his just frustrated ' I tried to justify his actions collecting my emotions I said " it has to be some were around here wait I’ll look for it don’t worry we’ll find it ." " just forget it you should have never moved it in the first place, I’m going out " he blankly look at me saying this"zayn ..." he already left before I could justify myself. ' what papers was he talking about and why did he lose his temper like that.' His words really hurt me especially when he said I do nothing dut chores and I can’t even do that right. It’s not easy to do this chores and does he not realize this is a way for me to show my love to him.

Before marriage I really did not do chores at home, my family was well off thanks to Allah. I was the only girl in my family,my parents had seven children 6 boys and I girl. I was pampered since a young age. What ever I desired my family would provide but they did not forget to teach me to be humble and always be thankful for what I have. My brothers loved me and were always protective of me, each of them have good sources of income and they would always encourage me to do good and follow my heart. My family supported my dream of becoming a chef and I could clearly see the disappointed when I dropped the idea after marriage but they respected my choice.

Zayn's family is also well off , I have only met his parents and siblings. The rest of his family are scattered around the world. We both live in our own apartment and decided to be independent from our families. 'I miss home ' sighing I started looking for any type of document that looked important after 30 minutes or so I found some documents on his desk ' is this the one he was looking for '. I just hope he would be back soon, I dislike seeing him angry. I clean up the mess in the room and went to the kitchen to prepare lunch.

It’s been 9 hours where is he. Ya Allah bring him back safe . I prayed sunnah hoping he would be back safe .sound.

Asc - Asalma alykum ( greetings )

Wcs - walykum salam (answer )

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