Is the cat out of the bag ??

For the rest of the day we sat at his desk and worked on poetry, and I was grateful that we acting as if my little break down didn’t happen. I leaned over to turn the page when Jack reached and placed his soft yet strong hand in mine. Shocked I quickly turned, my eyes met his as he leaned in closer, my nose was now filled with lavender smell radiating off of him.

“Please tell me how you got these scars on your hand” he whispered and his lips brushed my ear. His question surprised me, and I quickly searched my brain for a believable excuse. “Erm…when I get nervous…I press my nails into my palm…I guess I don’t realise how hard I press sometimes…” it was true, just not completely true. I couldn’t look at him as my eyes started to fill with tears.

“Why do you get so nervous? Some of these are fresh…” he traced his finger over the line of freshly broken skin “…did you do this when you were with me” his voice broke and I could feel that he was hurt and didn’t want to know the true answer. I couldn’t find my voice so I just nodded for ‘yes’.

He gripped my hand tighter “I’m sorry, please don’t…” he whispered and a tear fell on my arm. I looked up to see tears fall from Jacks eyes, something I never thought I would see someone like Jack do. A sudden flush of feelings filled me and I never wanted Jack to cry over me but I wanted him to wrap his arms around me again so I can feel protected and safe in his arms. “Don’t be…it’s not your fault…I just get nervous.”

Jack put his hand under my chin, lifting my face up so that we were looking into each other’s eyes and leaving only a small space between us. Before I could turn away Jack closed the inch between us, softly brushing his lips against mine. At first he was gentle with me as if I was fragile and easily breakable, but soon he deepened the warm kiss and it got rougher. We separated momentarily, both of us gasping for air, “S…stop…” was all I was able to say before our lips connected again. Jack had one hand snaked around my waist whilst the other was in my hair pushing me closer to his muscular, warm body.

He traced his tongue across my bottom lip, asking for permission to enter my mouth but I kept my lips shut. I wanted him, I needed him! But I couldn’t, I didn’t want Jack to get hurt just because he wants another fuck buddy and I didn’t want to be hurt just because I was added to Jack’s list of many sluts he has slept with. So with all the strength I had, I started to hit my fist into his hard chest trying to push him away but he only moved his hands from my waist to my writs to stop me from hitting him.

I winced again at the pain shooting from my bruised wrist and hot tears began to run down my cheeks and onto Jacks. He pulled away and I took that chance to grab my things and run out the room and down the stairs. I was just about to reach the front door before I felt a familiar grasp on my elbow pulling me back and into a warm embrace. “I’m sorry, I keep hurting you…”

I pulled away, my anger helped me ignore his upset expression. “Stop…just stop apologising! I know you don’t really mean it!” it started as a whisper but I finished it by shouting at him. “I do mean it, I care about you Emma!” his 6ft4 figure drowned my 5ft5 body, but I still kept my ground. “Ha! Is that what you tell all the girls so you can get them into bed with you!”

Jack looked down at his feet and whispered “I admit I’ve slept around, but you’re different!” he now looked up at me, square in the eyes with fire burning in his and full of confidence “I’ve never felt this way about someone before! Just from the way you concentrate in class makes my heart beat faster and for god’s sake I got hard by just being close to you!” what he said blew me back. I wanted to believe him, but he’s just like every other guy.

I looked away “can you just take me home.”

********

The ride home was quiet and awkward, although I appreciated the silence and concentrated more on keeping my nerves under control, using the only method I knew how to…I guess I’m going to have more scars on my hand. We pulled up outside my house at 3.34 pm. I sighed with relief when I saw that Simon wasn’t back either.

I went to open the door when Jack gently placed his hand on mine. I looked from his hand to his face then back down until he took the hint and pulled away. “Goodnight” he gave a shy smile, but still he looks hot! I got out and ran over to the door, locking it behind me. I ran into my room, but saved taking shower until after the job my ‘father’ was going to do to me. I just hope he is drunk enough to soften the blows, even if it’s just a little.

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