Recollection

“You know, you can’t survive on merely energy drinks and men” scoffed Danny. He grimaced at Ivy, jealousy hardening the soft honey color of his eyes. Danny reeked of liquor and Ivy noticed yellow powder from her anxiety medication dusted on the bottom of his nose. She stared coldly back at Danny and furrowed her brows as she hesitated to reply.

“You have no say in my affairs anymore Danny, you gave up that right the moment you laid your hands on me” Ivy responded in a tone as dull as the light in her eyes. It killed her inside a little more every time Danny greeted her like this when she returned home. How did things always end up like this, Ivy wondered. She was practically desensitized to these tense and unfortunate conversations at this point. After all, she couldn’t remember the last time Danny was truly kind to her. He was often self centered and cruel, and was once again roping Ivy into a disheartening argument. Danny’s eyes darted down as he clenched his fists at her cold reply. He unscrewed another full bottle of vodka and chugged at it like it was water.

“Come have a drink with me Ivy, you seem upset” Danny taunted. Ivy sighed and sat next to Danny on the red, beaten down couch that occupied the small living room in their apartment. Why not? I’m so tired of fighting... maybe I’ll feel better if I just get drunk, Ivy sullenly convinced herself. She was so depressed from the tragic past few months that she struggled to find a shred of optimism within herself.

After throwing back several shots, Ivy began to feel increasingly dizzy and disoriented. Danny produced a small pill bottle and poured four round yellow tablets onto the littered glass coffee table in front of them. Although inebriated, Ivy recognized them as her anxiety medication. Danny began to crush up the pills with one of Ivy’s glass candles and handed her a short straw.

“Here, inhale some of your medication. This should make things more fun” Danny playfully demanded. Ivy knew the risks of mixing her medication with alcohol, but she didn’t dwell on this fact for long. Frankly, she hoped she would die. Ivy took the straw and confidently inhaled the powder without a second thought. Since she hadn’t inhaled medication before, Ivy immediately began to cough and rub her nose. Even though it burned her sinuses and scratched up her throat, Ivy continued to inhale the reminants of the four pills. She began to feel warm and sleepy as she leaned back on the couch. Will this be how I die? Ivy drearily wondered as she closed her eyes. She imagined what death would be like, hoping it would be as peaceful and warm as the mixture of alcohol and drugs made her feel. Ivy wished she could enjoy the dark silence behind her heavy eyelids forever.

Danny ominously laughed. “Good girl, now it’s time to play a little game,” he uttered mischievously, causing Ivy to open her eyes and direct them at him with confusion. Her eyes grew wide yet remained still as he revealed a small silver razor blade.

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