Just a thought

One day I may realize my love for you and hand this diary to you, I hope that day never comes.

7 May, 2022

I find myself thinking about you yet again. Several questions in my mind yet no courage in my heart to assertively seek answers.

I must be dumb to be thinking about you so often, but... Oh well, it is what it is. I do not wish to bother you because I may never see you again if you were to vanish... and I'll feel bitter everytime I pass by the places that don't really seem normal without you. It is not out of love or affection I'll be honest. I am just a fool that thinks a lot and you are maybe just yet another passing thought in my mind.

8 May, 2022

Tonight it feels a little empty in my chest, I have been thinking about the memories we hold in our heart and I am wondering. Do you remember the little things as well? I know you must not feel this way because I am just another breeze passing through your life. But you to me were the moon, a little light of hope in the vast and dark sky... A constant pleasure that stayed somewhere in my heart.

It has been a while since we last talked, you do not send me first texts anymore. How did it come to this I wonder. But yet again you are just a passing thought of the night.

9 May, 2022

Tonight I am thinking about the day I first saw you, I remember everything you said and every face you made. I remember you being insecure that I may not want to go on with this relationship after I saw you and talked to you face to face. But oh darling you were so beautiful that day, I swear on my name. We just sat there under the shade, a lot of people surrounding us... No one close to us though because it was just us there. I couldn't see anyone and how could I focus on anything else? Two hours just went by like we were meant to be, little do you know that it was life's first date to me.

You had made the day worth remembering and you made me feel safe enough to grab your arm.

I don't know why I did that... I would never do it to anyone ever. But the way you held my hand and walked me back I'll remember it forever. The time we spent, the way you held my hand while we were parting ways as if it shouldn't have been time for me to go. I will remember it forever. The way I was glad that I smelled like you that night and the way I felt your warm touch on my skin. The memory of you tucking my hair behind my ears.

I wish we could relive that again.

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