5. Yearning

Have mercy upon me, O God,

according to thy loving-kindness,

according into the multitude of thy tender mercies, blot out my transgressions.

Wash me thoroughly from mine iniquity,

and cleanse me from my sin.

For I acknowledge my trans—

Carlos knelt before the statue in the sanctuary while he prayed but he was forced to look when he heard soft footsteps. Just who in the world was out this late at night?  

In the faint light, he saw her hair and immediately recognised her—her, whose calls he’d been so keen on waiting for. He got up to his feet and hurried to her so he wouldn’t miss out on the opportunity.

Nothing. Not even the barking of the mini convent dogs could be heard by Lady Jane when he took a step forward and held up her fingers with his wide palm. He nudged her knuckles with his thumb and looked her in the eye. Her green eyes that seemed brighter under the night sky reflected astonishment. Her light-headedness must be playing tricks with her mind.

“My Lady.” Carlos said.

Yes. It was that voice that caused everything in the first place. Till now, she wasn’t sure if they really did it or not. The tendency to display her sexuality in her drunken state needed to be stopped. All her worries that bothered her seemed to fade as his skin rubbed against hers. It was definitely his voice.

“Such a surprise to meet you here,” he looked around. “Umm... My Lady, do you have some time?” He let go of her hand and stared at the ground that held them close. He looked so confident just a moment ago but now he just looked like a pooch.

She hesitated but still nodded. She took a step back and folded her arms below her breasts. She was putting up a front. That facade of a confident persona, deep down, she knew she had insecurities—well, so does everyone.

“Sure.”

“I’m sorry about the other night, I just—” Carlos scratched the back of his head and averted his gaze.

“It’s fine. It... that was my fault anyway. You should probably forget about it. Or do you need money Mr. Carlos.” She thought she gave solace but it was the other way round—asking if he needed money at such a time.

“No, I do not need money—well, I do, but that’s not the point. I... can’t forget.”

Her guilt came to face; How she caused him harm and how she coaxed him into a sinful activity. She knew he was the victim but she brushed it off to maintain her guise of confidence.

“Pardon! I humbly suggest you forget what happened that day. It’s normal to act unruly when drunk, don’t you think?” she was sly. She couldn’t forget either so why?

“Then, let me take you out for lunch... or dinner. I’ll apologise properly and then I promise... I’ll forget,” he spluttered. “I’d love to talk to you directly, can I have your number?” he bowed to his waist level and handed out his phone.

So cheesy.

At that moment, she knew he was strange in a certain way. She wasn’t accustomed to men being so honest and kind but Carlos was different. He was big and tall, had a perky chest that didn’t hide, even beneath a shirt. He had a serious face and such foxy eyes that stood out, but his character opposed his appearance. He scared the shit out of her. He was dangerous and she’d rather avoid him than take a risk.

“I don’t think we’re close enough to have dinner or lunch together.” She said bluntly. The disappointment in his face pierced her soul.

“But you asked me to drink with you, I think we’re close enough really. We bonded really well.” he muttered. His calm demeanour changed to a serious one so quickly.

“I felt bad for how your arm ended up, you didn’t accept money, so don’t feel so high and mighty.” She ranted as she walked a short distance to dispose the beer can. “Asking you to drink with me was the least I could do to soothe my—” she halted after realising her wrong choice of words.

He followed behind, “And why would you feel bad for my broken arm?” he stood so close behind her; he could see the top of her head. He strongly held the urge to touch it. To touch her and feel her.

“I mean—” she stuttered, praying he wouldn’t realise what she just said.

“Hold on,” he suddenly held her close to him and she froze again. His touch—so strange yet pleasant, he held her shoulders and lifted the tip of her hair to his face. “This scent... Are you?”

“What do you mean?” she turned to face him. Damn! He must’ve figured it out.

“I smelt this scent on the day I broke my hand, the other day at the bar and also now. This isn’t a coincidence, is it?” he scrunched his brows.

Lies. She tried to find lies to get her out of this situation. The front she put up was slowly diminishing. Was he sure already? If she told a small lie, would she be caught red handed? She hesitated and didn’t reply.

“My Lady, am I wrong?” he bent his neck to meet her height.

“No, you’re not, I can compensate you if you—”

“No! The least you could do is have a meal with me.”

She flinched as he held her shoulders tighter. His breath strayed across her ears and his voice gave her away.

“I won’t ask why you jumped off that balcony, just do me this favour. Then... then after that, I really won’t stretch it.”

The air suddenly felt dense, there was no way she could turn him down. His sincerity was what scared her the most, she could read every bit of him. Just like a child. Odd yet satisfying. Dangerous but for some reason she felt safe in his midst. There was definitely a connection.

“Lady Jane?” Miss Liu screamed and ran towards them, she thought Lady Jane was being held captive.

“Hey, who are you? Let her go or I’m calling police.”

She immediately freed himself from his hold and adjusted her clothes while he just stood there, surprised. The woman looked familiar.

“It’s okay, he’s the victim from the day of the accident. I’m sure you recognise him, you sorted it out with him right?”

“Oh! Then why did you spend so much time out? I thought you were kidnapped or something worse,” Miss Liu got closer to them, “I’m sorry but we’ll be on our way now.” She looked directly at Carlos. Of course, she had questions but it would be best to stay quiet.

They began to walk off leaving Carlos behind. No way was he going to let her go this time. To him, this was fate. He didn’t feel like this for no damn reason.

“My Lady, please contact me.” That’s the most he could say before her figure faded to the night but he was sure she heard. All he could do was hope. And if she failed to call—he’d find her.

* * *

Days and even weeks passed quickly after their unexpected encounter. Carlos heard nothing from Lady Jane, he waited and overworked himself at the bar to get her off his mind but just the bar surrounding itself was a key reminder that she was his ideal type and he definitely felt something for her. However, she never called—not even an email. He expected much and got disappointed; very atypical for someone like Carlos. He thought it was best to take sometime off work and that environment to get himself back. His plan was to come to the main city to stay with Martin for a while, but that might have been the wrong idea.

As he entered Martin’s house, it was the same as always, casual but unusual, rare and Spanish style, very different from the other houses in this region. He made his money through highly profane means, he was pretty open minded about it and so he didn’t get as much criticism. Well, his net worth per se was colossal so rather than being a self-critic, he was proud of himself.

Carlos was welcomed by the booming of loud music and a nervous looking delivery guy. This could only mean one thing.

“Ooh... Aah... Ngh... right there,” Martin squirmed under a big muscular guy with blasphemous tattoos. This was usual for Carlos’ sight so he walked in after collecting the delivery.

“Ooh.. Yeah...” the big guy groaned in pleasure.

“Hey, Gio! Don’t you fucking *** right... Ooh... Don’t ***.. Sto...”

“It feels... so... good Mart,” he wrapped his hands around a certain Martin pounding him mercilessly doggy style.

“Oh! God! Gio... You can’t ****... ing...***... aah.. ngh,” a crying Martin begged.

“What? Your hole is.. like a magnet... It’s... aah... so... ooh... good,” he trusted till he hit his ****** leaving an angry unsatisfied Martin who stormed out of the room afterwards.

“Bloody selfish fucker.. Ugh!” Martin shouted.

“You know, you should really close the door when you do this. I could see and hear everything over the music.” Carlos advised as he wrapped Martin’s bare skin with a rugged white cloth.

“And why would I do that?” Martin asked while he made tea.

“I can list out many reasons though.”

“Can you not judge my voyeuristic proclivities right now? I’m really not feeling it today. It’s my house anyway.”

“Sure.”

“Why aren’t you at work?”

“I’m staying here for a while, I’m tired. Let’s talk later Mart.”

He undid his shirt and shut the door to the guest room, leaving a curious Martin in utter shock.

“Wow! Crazy bastard! Come out right now. You storm into my house, tell me what to do and fucking shut my door on me?” he banged the door, “Hey, come on now, did something happen?”

* * *

“I’m sincerely sorry, but there’s really nothing we can do anymore.” the orphanage directress had called Lady Jane to inform them of all the trouble her kids have caused ever since their arrival.

She cut the call in anger. How could they let such things happen in a Catholic place for Chrissake? Her kids were being bullied and insulted for having parents that couldn’t cater for them. Evans beat the shit out of another kid because someone made Ellen cry over the issue of them having irresponsible parents. According to the directress, the one who made Ellen cry told her ‘she was a mistake and her parents didn’t need her’ and as untrue as it sounds, the orphanage couldn’t handle the matter and politely called for them to be readopted by their real guardians. Just a few weeks and everything backfired.

Lady Jane didn’t know how to feel, she just needed to find another way to put them away from Tommy’s sight and that, she couldn’t think of. At this point, she wanted to be cleansed of her worries. A distraction is all she hoped for. Actually, she longed for sex.

It wouldn’t hurt this once, would it? Is what she used to convince herself. The desire to get wasted and satisfy her thirst for spasms of climax. She was selfish. She knew a distraction wasn’t the case; Ever since Carlos, not once did she stop wishing for his cock, not once did she stop imagining his touch on her, series of masturbation with incomplete satisfaction, the undying urge to call him and ask for an intimate reunion was what she felt. Asking for a distraction to soothe the worries her kids brought against her wasn’t the case—she wanted Carlos.

Few minutes later, she found herself seating on a stool in Heinsbar. Now why was she at a bar adorned in beautiful clothes and expensive jewelry looking around with a beer glass in hand?

The frustration she felt from waiting for a bartender, Carlos in a white shirt and black waist apron got intense every second she took a sip from her beer. The irritation crept as men of younger ages sidled to her trying to talk her into bed, she knew fully well what they wanted—money; Petty money. She shooed them in one wave anyway then drank till she lost her sanity.

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