The journey of her life or the ordeal

First I was born at fort Carson AFB in Colorado Springs Colorado in 1955 5 th. Child of Six kids my dad was in the Air Force and he had spent two years in a German prison camp in WWII he was pure Irish and was brought up by a father that was a very severe Irish alcoholic that married my grandmother after she divorced a man for him and back then that was not ok to do! So it was a very turbulent time! And when I was 3 years old my dad got stationed in Okinawa and after my sister fed me a whole bottle of baby aspirin trying to kill me at age 2 and I almost died to have to go thru all the vaccinations that completely traumatized me! To go to Okinawa on a old navy ship in a hurricane we had 3 feet of water in the house they put us in and after spending terrifying 2 more years there he got stationed at March AFB near Riverside and we were so broke and my mother couldn’t cook for the life of her and my grandfather started molesting me at age 5 to age 8 years old and because I acted out because of it all my father started beating me and my tyrant dad put my third oldest brother to a mental hospital because he was always fighting my father and I was lucky if I got one meal a day that was ettable and my mom always looked like death warmed over from trying to keep my little brother alive that was born in Okinawa and contracted a lot of deseases and couldn’t keep food down! And he got blood 🩸 poisoning and almost died and we got food poisoning from bad turkeys from thanksgiving lunch at school and a lot of children died and we almost did also! I was so hungry I used to eat grass from the yard! So because my grandfather was molesting my sister and I they decided to help my parents buy a big 3 story house in riverside that fit all of us in it! So me trying to help keep my sister that hated me and was always trying to kill me and hurt me in anyway that she could because she was jealous of me! She walked in her sleep and I had to try to find her in the middle of the night walking thru a cemetery to bring her home! Our next door neighbor decided to start molesting my sister and my brother James was always trying to have sex with me and we didn’t tell my parents anything because they always blamed everything on us! And my mom always said that if anything bad happened to us that we did something to ask for it! And when I was 11 years old my dad threw me out of the house with a sleeping bag and locked me out said if I didn’t get a job to pay for the roof over my head I wouldn’t be allowed back in so I slept in caves in some of the surrounding mountains 🏔️ so he decided I was going to take care of my oldest brothers children and he would take the money for rent and then when I was 14 years old a friends of mine from church got together and started a rock band 🎸 Deniece and I were singers and 👯‍♀️ dancers and we worked at every gig we could get and the money I made went straight to my dad! But still everything he got drunk he still kicked me out of the house at night just because he could? I don’t know why I have a friend in AA that is always upset everything I tell him about my father he hates him and just makes him sick! Anyway when the band broke up got jobs at fast food places to pay rent! And my friends and my sister got me stated on alcohol and drugs and I got raped by my boss at Carl’s Jr. That I worked at! And when I tried to get help my mother wouldn’t let me said it was my fault for getting drunk with everyone at the beach that I asked for it! Almost put me in a nut house! And after high school graduation I started manacuring at college and was making electrical parts at night so I was getting about 3 to 5 hours sleep a day! And near the end of school my teacher lined me up a job working on a Hugh cruse ship 🚢 working as a manacurist my dad found out and he beat me so bad he broke 5 of my Ribs and my next door neighbor that would always find me down at the little club house in the mobile home park we moved into Jim befriended me over the years there and asked me to marry him so he could save me from my dad! Because he wouldn’t let me finish school! I told him that I appreciated it but he was my next door neighbor and I didn’t love him! I didn’t even know what love was with the way I grew up! So I did marry him because it was the only way out! And he told me that he didn’t like married life! But he was in the Air Force and he turned me into his maid cook and uniform and boot cleaner and he was never home and I was lonely so I got pregnant with my son Mark and by the time he was 2 year old my husband had me going to a lot of base parties and got drunk a lot together to where I saw a commercial for AA on tv and he wouldn’t let me go to it cause he thought I was fine so I got a job at Kmart and got back on drugs and I turned into a very sick severe alcoholic addict with all my unresolved issues from my past and was off and running and I started cheating on him and I got pregnant and had an abortion and Dennis in security at Kmart stated drinking with us and I found myself divorcing him and moving in with Dennis and we partied every night we were off and running and a few years later we got married! Big mistake cause he was a doctor jeckel and Mr. Hyde and when his mother died suddenly and I just found out I was pregnant with my daughter Jennifer we moved into a apartment when I was 8 months pregnant he decided to start beating me! Punched me in the stomach and almost killed me and our daughter! It was my nightmares starting all over again! So no I wasn’t a woman that didn’t mind getting beat so the moving and staying at friends and families homes started to battered women’s shelters I ended up moving 22 times in 8 1/2 years! With 11 restraining orders my second daughter he raped me at a time to try to keep control over me! My Denise was born in northridge LA because I was staying with my parents and brothers and I was sicker than a dog and was back in the hospital for a week with 105 fever a few months after Denise was born and I had gotten thrown out of that house because Dennis tried to **** my niece over with my brother so we were in hotels and I found out I had a Venereal desease that Dennis gave me when I was pregnant with Denise and she was born with all kinds of problems and a deform ability from it! So we eventually ended up in a cheep hotel in San Bernardino and I called a friend that got me and my kids out of there to get a divorce and another restraining order and my first ex husband took care of our son snd helped me to get a apartment where Dennis didn’t know where I was for a time! But then he found out because he had visitation for the girls but he never did that when ever he found me he never left! Pulled phone wires out of walls beat me to a pulp but not so bad that I couldn’t take care of the kids! He did that a couple times and he had the police in his pocket there and they wouldn’t do anything to him! He sold pot to them at the security office at Kmart and that was how he always found me! My mom died in 3 weeks from lung cancer and my dad killed himself six months later for killing my mother with his after smoke! But my mom wasn’t talking to me anyway because when I was staying with her we got in a fight over her dad molesting me! Asked me what I did to ask for that! And I told her I was 5 years old! You tell me! My father would always beat me up when I would talk like that to her! And so did Dennis when I would talk to him like that! So eventually I had to allow things to happen for my kids to get taken into foster care a second time so that I could leave San Bernardino again and live in my car cause my friend got murdered in San Bernardino before I came back up here and I was being suspenied to court on it! That happened the first time my girls went missing for two days the first time they got put in foster care! I had to identify her body when my baby’s were missing because they got out of my apartment when my friend told me she would watch them? So I could take a nap 😴 and didn’t !? So the second time he got in and was beating me and my neighbor called the police and I gave them my restraining order and he pulled drugs out of his pocket and had the police take me to jail for them even though right after he flushed them down the toilet!? And he wouldn’t let me back into my apt the next day they let me out of jail! So I went to a friends house to call the social worker to tell her what was going on and my girls got out of the apt with there dad asleep there and ran out into the highway and almost got hit by cars there were 4 and 5 years old! And when I found out I went to court and found out what happened I told them to keep my girls cause Dennis had me put in jail with his drugs and the girls almost got killed In his care! That I was leaving to Los Angeles to get away from Dennis again and get the help I needed! So I took Mark to his dads and I moved in with my sister first in Pasadena and that didn’t work out so I ended up living in my car in the parking lot of zigs Gyros and the copper bucket on the corner of white oak in encino for six months and when my niece tried to get me a place to stay at her friends apt the guy there was trying to get me to get a job in a strip club so he could come see my body with no clothes on! I didn’t do it and he threw me out when I had already had to much to drink and drive and so I went back down twords the bucket looking for a friends house near there and I was crying I know I was to drunk to be driving and I got caught by the police! And I spent a night in the van nuys jail! I had no way back to my car and I didn’t know how to get there myself I wasn’t used to the area and it took me a whole day to get there! And that DUI ticket 🎫 was a god send cause they sent me to AA and helped me eventually find my way to a sober living home that I got my start in the program and got clean and sober! I stopped waitressing and got a job at cablevision in the valley and I got all my court things taken care of and signed my rights away for my girls! So I could get the protection from there father! Turned into a safe house for me! After a year and a half I got on my feet and started going to court on my girls and seeing my son at his dads in San Bernardino he was still in the Air Force so I started my way back to an assembulance of health! Then the big 7.2 earthquake happened and I got stuck in my room in my apartment my son had to dig me out of there! That was a new Hugh trauma in my life! And my brother Arthur that lives in Malibu his greedy wife Vicky wanted money that I came into from my mothers death she found me the condo that I live in today over 30 years now! My son had to deal with his dad decided to take a gun to his head and kill himself when mark was 12 and I was training to be a supervisor at cable vision and I had to move him in with me in my one room apt before the quake! I’m getting all over the place now I’m getting tired! But with the grace of god and all the help from the programs and counseling my middle child Jennifer was always running away from everything place they put her in! Keeping me constantly worried cause she would call me from pay phones In the middle of the night till she was 16 and ran away to Los vegas and started selling her body for drugs and trying to kill herself! Making my health much worse from constant worry! Cause the social workers told me that if I helped her I would go to jail! Cause I gave up all my rights to her to get save from her father and me still having to deal with him every six months in court! And me trying to see my other daughter in foster care in LA I had moved up here to get them out of San Bernardino where there father lived! And him making everything worse cause the girls were saying he did sexual things to them and he got Jennifer addicted to pot in the first place and me working and going to all my court appointed meetings while going thru all this! I had to be hypnotized so I could go around men without having panic attacks! I still have night terrors I have permanent PTSD and I am what they call a Real miracle! Cause the doctors said I wasn’t supposed to live to be 35 let alone 67 today! And with my story’s I have helped to save countless lives with my experience strength and hope! And now today my Jennifer still is in Vegas living with her boyfriend and mother she still is smoking pot! I finally got her to stop smoking because 17 years or so she had got the mersa and spend two months in a icu ccu unit in the hospital in a drugged induced coma for months them giving her different mixes of antibiotics her Lungs filled up with sists and blew wholes in them and she should have died! I was worried at Mercedes Benz and jaguar at the auto mall here in Thousand Oaks and I was running back and forth between here and Vegas while this went on and I brought her home here with me for the first time since she was five and she was 19 years old or so at the time! And today my other daughter Denise lives with her foster mother and she is now 36 years old and she is a severe alcoholic addict and is also addicted to sex big time! So we stay away from each other because it hurts me to much the way that she is living! So I may not be a victim today! But I’m a survivor! And my saga is not over yet! But God is my constant companion this month dealing with a lot of vertigo! I’m having trouble keeping my doctors apts with there head spins! Trying to keep from falling on a constant basis! But I take full responsibility for myself today! And I guess yes I’m a Angel compared to what i used to be like! Writing snd working a strong program today! Along with my relationship with god! I’m still here! And not done fighting yet! My brother Arthur that lives in Malibu his Italian wife Vicky kicked me out of my family two thanksgivings ago cause I can’t make thanksgiving dinner for her with my place being to small and my dementia I got from my boxers brain 🧠 I have from taking so many blows to my head my ex husband is a black belt in Ty kwon do an ex marine used to break my bones from the inside out with karate chops! I live on gods grace alone! But I don’t know for how much longer! But we’re all in his hands 🙌 there is no doubt that he exhist with everything he still is bringing me thru! I fear nothing and especially not death! For that will be my freedom for eternity! Gods grace to you young man and always stay humble and grateful! Because if I can count my blessings! So can you!

***Download NovelToon to enjoy a better reading experience!***