precious

Chapter 5: these precious things, let them break

It is the night before Matsuda's scheduled appearance on Sakura TV, and everyone is on edge, Misa included. The clock strikes 3 and Misa knows it's less than twelve hours until Higuichi's confession, if everything is to go according to plan; less than twelve hours until Light is no longer under surveillance; less than twelve hours before he is Kira again. She's not exactly clear on how that's going to happen, just that it will, because Rem told her so. And so it shall come to pass.

She decides she's going to tell Light about the affair tomorrow. When Light regains ownership of his Death Note, everything will come back to him in a rush - his memories, his plans, and his hostility for Ryuuzaki, L. He will commend her on her deviousness, she knows, will thank her for remaining useful to him even when she isn't able to kill. She idly wonders if he will encourage her to keep up the seduction games with the dark-haired detective until Light is finally able to kill him, or whether he will relieve her of her duty. Either way, she doesn't mind - whatever works for Light, works for her.

But the time is not yet here, and Light is still oblivious and unaware. Meanwhile, Misa is heading down the hall toward Ryuuzaki and Light's shared room. She once again wonders if this will be their last night together, or if Light will permit many more to come, and then shrugs it off, decides she doesn't mind either way. This twisted little side-affair has been going on for some weeks now, and Ryuuzaki has proved himself to be a gentlemanly but suitable lover. Although Misa is always is always on top (always dominating him, always in control), Ryuuzaki is an attentive learner and has come a long way since their humble beginnings. She enjoys their encounters now, looks forward to them almost. Still, if Light wills it, she would not hesitate to let them go.

She reaches the door to their room and twists the knob as quietly as she can, peering inside. She sees L in the far corner of the room, pillows propped up behind him to support his back, waiting for her. Beside him, Light is already fast asleep, which is expected - the other Kira suspect is usually out like a light before 3 AM. Even after spending months chained to Ryuuzaki's side, the younger boy has still never managed to adapt to the detective's unpredictable sleeping pattern. Which is good for Misa, because otherwise she couldn't have never taken it this far, could not have gotten him so completely tangled up in her. She has come a long way, and has done a lot of damage, and she's fiercely proud of her accomplishments.

She latches the door silently behind her, tiptoeing across the carpet to where L is sitting. His eyes are blank and unblinking in the darkness, and he does not speak a word as she slides underneath the comforters beside him. "Hi," she breathes, and immediately gets down to business, easing her hands down the front of his jeans to see what kind of reaction she can evoke from him. Just as her fingers brush the hem of his boxers, however, he suddenly reaches out and slides those piano-player fingers through her hair, smoothing out her golden locks as he plants a very chaste kiss on the tip of her nose.

"You and I will be parting ways soon," he whispers unexpectedly, and Misa leans back in surprise.

"What?" she asks, a little louder than she probably should have. Whoops.

"It'll be lonely, wont it?" he asks, and she's not sure whether it's rhetorical or if he's actually looking for an answer. Misa feels the unpleasant tingle of a chill arc its way up her spine, and her first fluttering thought is: he knows...!

Then she corrects and reprimands herself, because there's no way he could possibly know. L is clever, but he isn't a mind-reader, and so there is no feasible reason how he could conclude that Light plans to reassert himself as Kira this evening (heck, even Light doesn't know how he's going to, at least not presently). Still, Misa knows that the clock is ticking down until L's days are numbered, and because of it, Ryuuzaki's otherwise usual conversational weirdness is making her paranoid.

"What're you talking about, Ryuuzaki?" She asks, and wonders if maybe he's finally figured out she's using him. Then she decides that he's probably just referring to the fact that Light will no longer be imprisoned soon, and he'll be free to leave headquarters. With Kira apprehended and Light no longer a suspect, Misa will no longer be a suspect either, because their apparent guilt went hand-in-hand. They were co-conspirators, and if Light is proven innocent, they are released in a packaged deal. Furthermore, Ryuuzaki knows without a doubt that wherever Light chooses to go, Misa is going to follow. Because they are in love (or Misa is in love, anyway), whereas this is just an affair, a nightly occurrence between sun-down and sun-up, a relationship within a relationship that can never truly be. Because Light is light, he is golden and he will always be number one, and both parties know.

She doesn't have to hurt him to hurt him, at least not directly. Ryuuzaki may not know that this wasn't just circumstance, hormones, and need - that it was actually calculated for effect, set-up to infiltrate his defenses and poison his insides - but it doesn't matter, because the outcome is the same no matter what the reason is. He knows that Misa loves Light, and that Light always comes first, will always continue to come first, no matter what the circumstance. L will always just be an indulgence, something to ease the tension, release a little steam - and nothing more. He's not even second best, he's not even a back-up - he is just an opportunity that she has seized, something that is readily able to be abandoned at any time. When Light leaves tomorrow, Misa will leave as well, and L will be all alone once again.

His emotional undoing is imminent. He has been ensnared in her web and she has injected her venom into him. Now there is nothing left to do but leave and wait for him to die. Mission accomplished, Misa can now wash her hands and be done with him. In this instance, Misa changes her mind and decides that she won't tell Light after all: it isn't necessary, because her walking away after the end of tonight is far more damaging than anything else she could do down the line. It's a neat little resolution to their one-sided love affair.

Misa feels content as she gazes into the soulless black orbs of L's eyes. Tonight is the last night that we will engage in this masquerade, she thinks, delighting in the poetic justice of it all. This will be my parting gift to you, L.

Misa closes her eyes and leans in for the kill, their mouths blindly finding one another in the darkness as she moves to straddle him. They take it slow tonight, each of them trying to savor this last unholy union for different reasons. Misa hears the familiar, almost comforting rattle of L's chain as his hands reach up underneath her shirt and cup her breasts within her bra. He drags his teeth across the hollow of her throat with just enough pressure applied to make her moan. She squirms in his lap, feeling the hot length of him press up against her from underneath her skirt as she tilts her head back, exposing more of herself to him.

He continues this exquisite torture for several more minutes until she finally pushes him away. "P-please, Ryuuzaki," she pants, and wonders if her eyes are glazed over with desire the way that his are. "M-Misa can't take it anymore..."

He nods in understanding, and they immediately set out to undress one another. By now Misa is aching for him, wanting him desperately, and her touch lacks any kind of eloquence as she hikes up her skirt and pulls off her panties. Meanwhile L is taking his sweet time, and so Misa loses her temper entirely and reaches between them to yank his pants down. Her hand snags L's chain accidentally on the way southward and it rattles loudly but she's beyond caring at this point, she just wants him inside her now. Once his jeans and his undergarments are pulled down well below his knees Misa rears up one last time, aligns their bodies, and comes back down again with a gratified hiss.

Their involvement takes on a different pace now that they have joined. They become frenzied with desire, gripping one another and panting, rocking back and forth to the rhythm of one another's motions. L has his eyes closed but Misa is looking him full on in the face, absorbing his look of utter and complete ecstasy, because this is control, she owns him and she wants to be able to hoard this feeling of power over her adversary forever.

She's getting close now, and she welcomes it. Their movements become more and more erratic as everything between them comes to a head. Misa seizes a handful of Ryuuzaki's hair and yanks him against her chest as she stifles the urge to cry out. And then suddenly it's over, it's over, this was their last time and so it's over, and somewhere in the back of her mind she's almost sad to see it go because L has come so far, he's learned to be so good and the rush that comes with it is absolutely incomparable to any other experience she's ever had.

Misa keeps him cradled against her chest as she begins to come down from her high. Her hands still have him by the hair, and she realizes with smug satisfaction that the dark strands are damp beneath her touch (damp, he's sweating, she has actually made him sweat. Finally!) Misa heaves a pleasurable sigh and L collapses backwards onto the bed with Misa still clinging to him.

For a moment they simply lay like that, with Misa draped across L's pale, slender torso as they try in vain to regain their breathing. Just as Misa's heart rate returns to normal, however, someone clears their throat beside them.

"What the ****," comes a voice, frightfully alert and nearby, "is going on."

It's not exactly a question, since the answer is plainly obvious. Misa has to bite back a scream as she feels adrenaline arch up her veins like battery acid, hot and vivid and jagged. She swings off of Ryuuzaki immediately, pulling some of the comforters with her, but the damage is already done because Light is awake and he knows.

Misa is perfectly terrified, whereas L seems completely unperturbed by the brunette sitting up beside them.

"Oh, hello, Light-kun," he says mildly, almost pleasantly. "I thought that you were asleep."

And Light punches him in the face.

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