Part 1

PUBLISHED IN SEPT.2023

By J. D. Lair

Campfire light cast jagged shadows on the thin skin of our little tent. The adults were still up talking by the fire and relaxing from a long day at the lake. My big sister Arie assured me it was only the trees and not monsters that came to eat us.

"Besides," she said. "Our parents would be screaming if it were monsters."

This calmed me a little, but five-year-old minds are so impressionable and imaginative. It did not keep my nightmares at bay as we slept.

*It must have rained while we slept and there had to be a hole in our tent somewhere.* I told myself as I woke in a damp sleeping bag. A gentle nudge proved enough to rouse Arie from sleep.

"What's wrong Trevor?" she yawned while rubbing sleep from her eyes.

"Can I share your bed?" I asked. "Rain came in and got mine wet."

"Sure, but change your clothes first." Arie said as she tossed me my Spiderman backpack from her side of the tent.

"Don't look!" I said before turning away from her after seeing she had covered her eyes with her hands.

My shirt still felt dry, which I thought odd, but I went ahead and changed it anyway with my shorts and undies. When I returned my bag to Arie to put in the corner she gave me a funny look, then took an audible sniff.

"Trevor, I don't think it rained. You peed your pants!" she said in a loud whisper.

My face grew hot and panic constricted my throat. I must have had a nightmare, but this feeling is worse. Arie started to laugh, so my embarrassment transformed into fury. I leaped on her and covered her mouth with my hand so she would not wake the rest of the camp and make this even worse. She pried my hand away and pushed me off her. With sympathy, she apologized.

"I'm sorry for laughing bud. Come here." she said pulling me into bed. "I promise not to say anything. My lips are sealed."

Comforted by her promise I was able to calm myself down. I tried my best to shake off the unpleasant feelings and go back to sleep. Tomorrow is a new day and I felt like we would forget all about this by morning.

When we were out hiking the next day, Arie was running up ahead with our cousin Cooper. My little legs could only run so fast, so I lagged behind with the adults. Arie and Cooper rounded a corner and started hopping on different large rocks. We heard them talking in hushed tones as we approached. When we caught up with them, Cooper pointed at me.

"Trevor peed his pants!" he said through snickers.

"Cooper! I told you not to say anything!" Arie yelled, socking him in the arm.

"Is that true, honey?" Mom asked as she looked down to see me crying with clenched fists.

My physical reaction was response enough and I charged them. Dad intervened and pulled me up into his arms while I kicked and flailed. I threatened all kinds of things only a child could, but yelled the loudest, "You promised your lips were sealed! Family shouldn't break promises!"

At that, I gave in to sadness and embarrassment. I turned away from everyone and started to cry silently over my dad's shoulder. My rage melted into general hurt feelings and I started feeling tired. It was a welcome blessing to bury myself in my father's arms for the rest of the hike.

When we got back to camp, I had settled down and mostly let the incident go. We ate dinner together and then sat around the fire gearing up for s'mores. Arie and Cooper avoided me the rest of the day and that made me sad. I was used to getting ignored as the youngest one, never cool enough for the big kids, but it was still tough. They sat on the opposite side of the fire from me.

At one point, I saw them laughing. It would not have been a big deal if I did not also see Cooper gesturing towards me. He made fire hose motions from the crotch area and waved his hand in front of his nose. Embarrassment washed over me yet again and anger began to swell up. I decided to try and ignore them for now so the adults would not intervene. Revenge would have to come later.

Dad's pickup had duct tape in it because *It fixes everything!* so I sneaked off to grab it while everyone was busy roasting their mallows. After setting it in my now dry sleeping bag, I came back to the fire and bid my time.

Arie barely said a word to me when we went to bed. Perhaps she felt bad, but I did not care. At least I was finally being left alone. I pretended to fall asleep soon after saying goodnight while caressing the roll of duct tape in my small hands. They were beginning to get slick with sweat as my heart raced with eager anticipation. When I heard Arie's gentle snoring, I counted to one hundred before risking my bag's zipper.

A nice long strip had been started in my waiting, so I plunged it down over her mouth. She sat up with silent screams and continued to wrap and wrap the tape around her head. Most of her face and hair were covered before she was able to shove me off. I tumbled away in victory and started laughing to the point of tears as she stumbled around helplessly. It did not take long for the tent to collapse on us and for our parents to respond. Arie was weeping by this point, but I never felt more alive.

***

Fifteen years have passed since then, but I have never forgotten how I felt that night. It awoke something in me, but most of the time those feelings lay dormant. I would seek it out from time to time, whenever life got a bit too dull, but it never came back as strong as the first awakening. They say that happens with any addiction or uncontrollable urges. The build-up to the moment always leaves the arrival feeling anticlimactic. Using role-play with partners over the years sometimes came close, but even then it paled in comparison.

One night, I decided to try once more before putting it to rest for a while. The same routine had stopped doing it for me, so instead of trying to find someone at a bar with questionable morals, I chose to peruse the street corners. I thought the threat of legality would up the stakes enough to make it worth my while. Plus, it would be easier to act out my fantasies with someone I am paying and who is used to placating sick men.

We drove to a seedy motel on the outskirts of town. Her recommendation and I did not mind. Things began playing out as they normally do, but there was a noticeable rise in my excitement. Ruby was more than a willing participant which thrilled me! What I was unprepared for was how good a job she would do. The insults kept coming, even after the tape was over her mouth. She started using gestures and got animated with it all. At one point, she ripped off the tape and continued to berate me. I lost it then.

Rage consumed me and my world became a blur. When I came to, I was straddling Ruby and pressing a hot iron to her mouth. The smell of seared flesh made me queasy and she had passed out from the ordeal. I made haste to gather my things and fled the scene. At first, I wanted to cry from panic, but as I drove further away a smile crept over my face. The feeling was back and stronger than ever. I looked at myself in the rearview mirror, profusely sweating and quite disheveled.

"Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver. Branded skin is Ruby red." I chuckled into the now empty car.

Branding became part of my repertoire for a while, always with ladies of the night in separate towns. News started to spread though about a serial offender leaving several women hospitalized and permanently disfigured. As much as I hated to temper my urges, I knew it was wise to hang up the iron for now. I was grateful news cycles were short-lived. Since none of those whores died from their injuries, I assumed law enforcement would also drop it soon enough for more pressing crimes. I would bide my time or find some different type of release. The branding had begun to lose its allure anyway.

***Download NovelToon to enjoy a better reading experience!***