friends 'crying 'disgusting 'crybaby

I feel bad i don't even know who love my and who don't one day they show me Love the other day not something i don't feel like i'm there friend IDK what schould i say they say they love my but why do i not feel that love. ... I never feels anyone love beacues nobady really love me i try to be funny happy but i could i'm crying now and it's so stupid of me but i can't do anything about it nobady understand my pain i feel bad disgusting udk why i feel like i want to cry and Scream but i can't do that either BEACUSE i hate when someone see my Cry or sad i hate myself when i cry i hate it that i can't hide my Tears i hate it when i'm a crybaby yes a crybaby i hate it i wanna cry but i hate it i hate the world sometimes i hate myself i hate EVERYONE i hate EVERTING in the world why do nobady understand what i feel why do they ughh never i feels close to anyone nobady is close with my and the people that even say we love you are not close to my or they not let me feel it why don't you let my see the love u have for my why can't i see it i hate it when i even don't know what to say i hate it when people say they love my but they really don't they even don't want to follow my they even did INVITE my to a private gc were all there friends are there they never did or asked do you want a hug i hate so many things i hate that i can't have all attention that i want i want attention in mt beacues i never got it in Real life maybe that why i'm so liar and so big big liar and a disgusting person i hate hate hate EVERTING i want somoane to give me attention i want that someone who love my how i i'm i'm not good not pretty i'm nothing but a disgusting person yes disgusting why do i feel so disgusting why i'm disgusting why is it beacues i lie to much but if i did't lie then i can't live me one dad Going to murder my önce my one dad yes me blood dad önce i'm going be dead Maybe beacues i killed myself or beacues me dad yes that's i'm bad person idk what schould i say more but now i feel many Pain today i cried two times or more maybe haha i'm crybaby bad person i i'm yes bad bad bad bad bad bad disgusting disgusting liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar

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