Chapter 2: My Mother

My Mother was a nice person, but she too had some anger issues, my Mother is a smoker which we all know costs money a lot of money actually, she would sometimes lie, she cheated on my Father about 2 times in front of me each time it broke my heart I looked at her in disgust and as my eyes filled up with tears that night as she sat there on his lap having a good time while I balled my f#king eyes out with my head in my teddy bears crying out loud "daaaddyyyyy, daaaddyyyyy," I cried for about an hour until she came in and f#king hugged me like it didn't even matter what she did then she had the f#king nerve to say 'I miss him too' IF YOU MISSED HIM THEN WHY DID YOU DO THAT!!!? You may be having a rough time, but that is not an excuse to hook up with MY FATHERS YOUNGER BROTHER! She is a sick b#tch doing that while my Father was in jail. I may have been in 4th or 5th grade that night, but I remember it as if it were yesterday, sometimes I can't even bare to look at her after all she has done to us, to me. She acts as if everything's all cupcakes and rainbows, but it's not, no it's a sad cruel world filled with horrible selfish people who couldn't give two sh#ts about anyone else but themselves. People like that disgust me, MY MOTHER disgusts me, sometimes I question myself I ask why do still call her that? Why do I still smile at her? Why do I still say I love you to her AFTER ALL SHE HAS PUT ME THROUGH!? I know she had a sh#tty messed up childhood, but that is not mean that she has to drag me down with her. She always says that when she was my age she was cooking dinner for her younger cousins while Nan was at the pub, and how she always hung out the washing, how she always cleaned the dishes, how she always took care of her younger cousins, how we never fought with her siblings, how she never treated her siblings the way we treat each other, well guess what Natasha we're not you. We will never be you. We will never see things the way you do. And beside you have never even taught me how to cook so how would I know how to the only things I can cook are simple things like noodles, cake toasted sandwiches, party pies and sausage rolls, hot dogs I can only do basic stuff, I'm not you mum so stop comparing me and my younger siblings to you as well please. My Mother wasn't always nice she had a dark side just like everybody else in the world, every one has their ups and downs when things get tough but we all pull through eventually it may take days, weeks, months or even years in that matter the important part is that you get through to the end but to be honest I don't think my Mother will get there yet at least not now she has too many kids to look after and so do I.

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