It's been almost a year since you left and three since I met you, things are very different now, it's weird but I haven't had a boyfriend since that last break up, it hurt so much physically and emotionally to forget you but what else could I do if you had already ****** it ?.
But this time no, I will not talk about you and the immense pain that you caused me if not the person that I have fallen in love with and this time without comparing you with you, without short distance love and scarce affection.
This year a lot has happened and I think that the most important thing I will tell you little by little, let's start in April, yes, the month where I turn years, after turning 15 a week later my sister told me to raise money for a training, I had already heard about them but had never been able to attend, just the day before that I would start generating the money to go, enter through those doors and 2 days later my real self came out, not the one with a thousand layers on it so as not to be hurt now She was the original Emily without rancor, with wounds healing and most importantly with many fears but willing to face them even if you do not believe it that month it was very difficult between working with me and studying hard for the exam that would come later but despite everything I went ahead, Along the way I found allies and twice as many people willing to throw away my spirit, but the greatest people I encountered were my third grade teachers, teachers so passionate about their t I work that despite the children so unwilling to study they struggled to have students to go out into the world and help others, even one of them, later I would discover that I take the same training as me, ah guess what? In the course of my recovery I had not only Emily (my friend who motivated me to join the group) but also Yuan. Do you remember that I told you about her? Yes, another member of our little group became, she helped me more than I thought, and how could I not know about this if she lived the same ?; the 3 of us were unstoppable, we did our crazy things together, we cried, we stood up, we laughed, but it was together; we lean on studying for the exam that was coming, you saw us as bookworms all recesses, in the end we faced the exam that would define our future; and yes, we left alive but with wounds, the three of us would take different directions, when I saw my result instead of feeling completely happy I felt so bad for them, I did not know whether to be happy or go to their houses, hug them and cry with they. I got to where I wanted not as I expected, but I still have a lot to give to finish where I want; The first time I walked through those doors where my school is now, I did not want to be there, I do not know, I did not feel comfortable, after a few weeks I made friends and some are very rare, but among so many people my salvation appeared, the person who made to eliminate what was left of you, all that pain I had felt I heal with just one look, with those eyes so deep honey color, those lips so delicate and thin, with that laugh hair that surrounds her pale face, but at the same time Once it was my downfall, at that moment I discovered something that had crossed my mind in training and I did not allow myself to take it out; I found myself in love with a woman, I discovered that she was bisexual.
At first I did not want to accept it, how could I fall in love with a woman if I had already fallen in love with you? I thought, it is just a stage, it will pass, but over the days my desire to see and meet her was greater, it is difficult to explain what I feel and even more to write it, in my mind every time the idea of being a lesbian came I absolutely am not one of the people who aba believe in midpoints, and you know it well, or was or was heterosexual or was homosexual, never a midpoint, one where I was bisexual, for many weeks I was torturing myself and decided to shut up , until I can't take it anymore and I had to tell the person who would advise me, a gay man. It was all ears when I told him about my concern, he told me << first, stop tormenting if you are a lesbian or not, that is no use, have the preferences you have the people who really care about you and those who do not know They will go if you do not feel bad because your family did not accept you or something like that >> those words calmed me more than you can imagine, between the two of us we recall my past courtships and the only death of my past courtships and the The only one I really loved was you, the other boys I was with never felt anything, forced me to kiss them to feel something for them but never felt anything, at the end of the talk he put on a serious face and commented << there is a great possibility that You are a lesbian, but do not worry, maybe for your safety you should kiss a woman >> I reproached her because she had felt something like that with you, to which she replied that maybe it was the whim of wanting to have you, or that maybe was bisexual.
I did not do anything about what he said he really did not want to accept it, but the opportunity presented itself, perhaps a thing of fate or pure coincidence but it happened, we were in the truck that takes the school to the subway and we played truth or challenge, I chose I challenge and they challenged me to kiss a colleague who was there, so it happened, my first kiss with a woman, and they say well if you do not feel anything when you kiss is that you are not really kissing the right person, well, no, no is that you do not kiss the right person if not just did not kiss the right gender, my head was about to explode but at the same time it felt like all the skin was standing on end, I even felt the famous "butterflies" in my stomach, her lips against mine and she holding on to my waist, this was nothing I had ever felt.
Yes, I am bisexual, and I think I start again in love.
"She was a written poem which writer was looking for and loneliness lurked"
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