I stopped here. It's not a bad chat story. But the choice of words are kind of plain. But still, your judgement on the situation are a little bit off. The only mistakes I seen so far isn't your words. But how you put the characters. You see..From even the start I can't seem to know what role she's playing. Whether a mother? a sister? a company worker? Anything like those important roles. Everything is good but make sure to look at important thing when writing. For example don't just jump her roles from one into another in a certain space. It's also happened many times because you feels like..Ah! You don't want she to go climax.
Yeah I understand you love making this. Im just giving my point of views as a fellow writers. No criticism was doing here. Just some advice. Still, it's a good chat story. You try to fill most of it. Im proud at your skills for trying to make everyone feels something in your story.
Comments
Lost Celestia
I stopped here. It's not a bad chat story. But the choice of words are kind of plain. But still, your judgement on the situation are a little bit off. The only mistakes I seen so far isn't your words. But how you put the characters. You see..From even the start I can't seem to know what role she's playing. Whether a mother? a sister? a company worker? Anything like those important roles. Everything is good but make sure to look at important thing when writing. For example don't just jump her roles from one into another in a certain space. It's also happened many times because you feels like..Ah! You don't want she to go climax.
Yeah I understand you love making this. Im just giving my point of views as a fellow writers. No criticism was doing here. Just some advice. Still, it's a good chat story. You try to fill most of it. Im proud at your skills for trying to make everyone feels something in your story.
2021-02-22
0
QUEEN misha💞
I hate nightmare,s
2020-11-19
5
🦄 Ella
Maybe some of her past 🥺
2020-10-07
1