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walking home*Haluuu, Im Cess Im an average and a super normal student and currently in grade 8, but as a normal grade 8 student I cannot have the life I always imangined *talking to herself*...hah... why am I even talking to my self? Im so weird...This is useless...*palm on the face* Though I want to have the "my perfectly imagined and super cool high school life"... hah... besides I cant even have an awsome nick names that people give me and thingy or even have a cute nick name that people can call me, it is impossible to have that with my super duper normal and average life... ughh But I have many wishes... one of those is to have a cool and awsome group of friends... but.... but I was not destined to have that... I guess I was destined to not have those? or It was just my fate that I did not have that? .... Oh and I also want to be popular like my other school mates.... who can do what ever they want and what ever they like...but no, I did not have that kind of popularity among other students *SIGHHH* exhales* hah... but ... but... whats the use of me wishing...to have that kind of thing that is impossible to happen,well for most people of coures...,OH MY GOODNESS CESSS YOU ARE REALLLLY DUMB... GOSHHHHH.....(I cant believe Im talking nonsense) and even talking to myself ughhhh *cursing herself*

sighhhh.... * exhales* I also wished to be blessed with beautiful and cute face or even smooth and white one, but I was lucky enough to be blessed by an not ugly face nor a super beautiful face but an average face and a normal one... A gorgeous body? no, I did no have that or even a slim body, I cannot have the priveledge to be bossy and have the favor by others or do the things I like with out getting a threat to them or with out being criticize, but does it care to me? well of coures I Care about it because this is a dream of every student and person who lived every day as a student and who had been bullied and criticize for being who they are on their every day life and even talking things behind your back even though you did not do anything to hurt them you dint even cursed or say something bad to them and you did not even touched them or even poked them and they even started to be disguted about you even on what you are eating of it looks unpleasant they are gonna say its poo.. even though its corned pork or they will say its dirt that you are eating and that you got your skin color to what your eatingthey did not even let off a food,I just ...I care about it but not too much really, because why would I care about something if I hurt others and do what they do to others? right?, why would I care about something if I do bad things in my everyday life? ,I woudnt care about having everthing I haved wished if Im gonna become a bad person to other people, A bad influence to other students, A bad friend that talks bad things to them, A back stabber nor even a betrayer , I dont want that and would never want that , I would rather stay being trampled on than me trampling on other people and beliitiling them ... I dont want to be trampled on by others either but I dont want to do it to them either, I would want to have a luxurious life like my classmates but without doing anything bad on other people, without luring them or influencing them by having bad habbits,why?, if you are gonna ask me about that just think that you are in their place being bullied that you are a nice and good student who gets average scores who is kind to other people ,being belitelled by them that you are a coward ,that yiu are incompetent and being criticized by how you look how you dress up how you talk how you eat or even how you walk , being not being favored by them, would you want it? to be hurt by others? no right? so why do it on other people if you dont want them to do it on you? as a saying goes " An Eye For An Eye" its like what you do on other people the same thing is gonna go back to you. As a human everbody is supposed to be equal but people see it differently right? they always think their something like awsome one or this, or their that someone uncool if their nerdy or good a school works that they cannot have awsome freinds some thinks that their cool because people hangout with them,that their awsome because when people ask them to do stuff and they comple it,that they amuse other people they make funny jokes,(or atleast thats what they think) they make people laugh but the truth is they really dont... They only think of their selves they never think about other peoples feelings amd sensitivity they think it is all a joke but on other people's head (ughh im just gonna laugh at it so they wont pick on me) though others know it its wrong they still do it why? because they want to stick up to someone powerful someone who is favored, so thats why the favored became more favored and the unfavored became more unfavored,why is this society so cruel? Im only 13 but I ask my self so many questions every night? is what am I doing right or wrong today? is this thing good or bad ?, do i have the courage to do this kind of stuff? did I hurt otge people this day?, do people will bully me if I dont comply and follow their instructions?,will they insult me over and over because my skin is dark ,that I am not pretty, that I always want to have good grades because I always recite and I want to keep up with my studies,Did they think that to me ? to my feelings? to other peoples feelings? or just only thoughts? did they ever think that?.... sigh* , I also even think that will talk to me tomorrow or no? or yes or what? things like that questions:questions,questions never ending questions that goes to my mind mostly every night, Im not at good enough.. what Im telling is what i truly really really feel but do others are really telling what they really feel? or they just say it to become cool, to become popular?or just because they dont want to be picked on by other people, but once we say what we truly feel will they accept it? will they follow it ? that we dont want them to do this to us that we dont want them to insult us because it is irritating, that we dont feel good on what they are doing to us , will they really accept it or not? ...

is this question even reliable? does it have a big impact? no, but it depends on a person who doesn't mean to be mean right?... or maybe now Iam just hallucinating things, having illusions again that they will stop doing bad things, Maybe other people are right , that this world really is cruel, a cold place that struck lightning to a stormy night like with no and never will have a summer breeze to wake up from, is this really the world that my parents thought me? my parents told me that this world is cruel and cold but I never thought its even beyond the things that they say, I just always wished to be just asleep to my never ending fantasies that I have my fairy God mother that gave me a magical wish that came true but it only last until twelve that if it reaches mid night then POOF!!!! everthing goes back to reality leaving my ruined and worned out dress that had been teared apart by my cruel step sisters (people who dont understand what feelings mean) a carriage that looks shimmering in the dark night sky that goes back to being a mini little pumkin and the thing is the only thing that is left to my wonderful Fantacizing imaginary dream land as a Cinderrella is the crystal shoes that gives me happiness a crystal shoes thats given me by my fairy god mother and the only thing that keeps my boat sailing in the storm that still helps me to survive... but this is not my imaginary dream land that can fulfill my greatest wishes and desires this is only a cruel world that only give away a cold and chilly wind, a world that only gives storms but no rainbows , a word that there is like only darkness but no light, a world that only gives sadness and frowns without giving a chance to give us smiles and happiness, is this truly that world of reality? is this only the phase we saw ? is it only the side of this word that we have seen? or is this really the whole side of this world with no hopes? I never thought I will say this but... I just wished to never had been born to see this cruel reality that gives my heart a big and sorrowful ache that makes my heart jumps out of mixed emotions that filled my heart and head, I dont even know What Im feeling right now Am I supposed to be happy or sad? am I supposed to feel responsible or guilty? Or the thing that I should ask myself Is the girl infront of the mirror really me? or Iam just a robot controlled by other people who is following the demands of the higher ups, or even maybe Iam just a person who keeps following other peoples commands withouth even thinking about how Iam gonna treat my self , Maybe Iam so caught up being want to be liked by other people that I just hide my self from my happy mask that is super obidient that only a Finger Snap !like I will be here next to you following your orders so you can be pleased by me and makes you want me to be favored like to be your freind or if thats how I see it in my point of veiw but in their point of view I think they see me maybe not a friend but only a follower that is stupid enough to follow them everywhere like a stupid robot that do what ever they wanted me to do,Iam like sucking up to this cruel society like Iam also being cruel to not just others but also myself be cuz Instead of doing what is right and by seeing through their attitude I now also look at looks too ,its like Iam being judgemental now like other peoole and that only thinks about looks but not their heart, instead of me not being curled up in this society, Iam also being pushed to become part of what they started, its like a vortex that keeps pulling you inside like a black hole , once you are near it it will want to suck you inside of it with a never ending colorless world, with like no people to rely on no hopes , not even a stupid wishful thinking , there is not even a single one, hopes,stupid dreams, none, who would want to live to that kind of world, nobody, unless you think you are already sucked in that vortex, only think

you only think but it hasn't happened yet, try to change the world with what we have right now without doing unfillial things, we just have to stick to what is right, and not the wrong one's, fight for what's right without thinking any pride, too much pride will hurt you much in the end, less pride the less you loose, we all have pride but we can't keep nagging about it, its not like it will give us anything in return, maybe it will give us one thing back, and that is embarrassment ,after all like what I said too much pride will do no good to the end, my parents taught me that its better to be a slave learning knowledge to improve yourself than making everyone a slave without learning anything, its like their implementing that paitence and a real hardwork sweat that you made feels more better ,feels more refreshing, and you will also learn to stand up to yourself without depending on others all the time, at the same time you also help others and learn different kinds of knowledge

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hey guys so i wanna talk to you guys about something tho, but if you are not interested it is ok, and if you also dont want it is also fine

I had asked people here in mangatoon too if you want a follower tell me and i will follow you back Iam not some other people who have big pride and step down on others haha, but yeh back to the topic ,We created a social circle I mean,I created a social circle in instagram , and there we only have 2 rules and that is no discrimination about opinions and always support each other if you dont want that persons opinion you can talk to them in a calm way ,so Iam kind of lazy in typing so Iam just gonna screenshot my comment and post it here and by the way if you have problems you can talk to me (alwayz) you can pm me here in mangatoon in the private message thingy in the upper right corner of your phone or gadget that you are using and feel free to tell you story here so i could publish it and tag you on (special edition) even if its just a simple and short storry feel free to share it to me i will accept it whole heartidly and listen to you , the accoubt is ( @a.lovable.family ) pm me there if you want to join or want someone to talk to and if you are an anime fan or naruto fan like me you can see a post here (@naruhina.ofc.cess)

(@randsfandspost.ofc.cess)

by the way call me Cess in the future :'3

i wuv you *and you are not alon in this cruel world there is people who is waiting by your side to be noticed and to be taken care of they love you for who you are so love yourself and dont intend to change for anybody be cause if they love you they will not force you to change for them but they will gradually change for you* you are loved and you are wonderful you are worthy of a respect remember that ,this is all for now :)

love dearly -Cess ( your friend;) )

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