Episode 1

(On the street, Red walks up to Blue with arms undulating.)

Blue: What is wrong with your body?

Red: (Auto-Tuned) Hi, Blue, how you do?

(He continues to move in a strange manner.)

Blue: And what is wrong with your voice?

Red: (Auto-Tuned) There ain't nothing wrong with my voice, Shawtay!

Blue: You're making some weird sounds.

Red: (Auto-Tuned) Oh. Uh, that. I swallowed a bee or something, maybe a robot frog! I don't know. But it sounds sick as ****! (He bounces up & down.)

Blue: Whatever, man. I got a serious problem.

Red: (Auto-Tuned) Yeah, girl. Turn up the problems.

Blue: Red!

(Red stops bouncing.)

Red: (normal voice) Sorry. (Auto-Tuned): Sorray!

Blue: No, really. I'm having girl problems.

Red: (Auto-Tuned) Then I feel bad for you, son.

Blue: My girlfriend dumped me last night...

Red: (Auto-Tuned) Oh, my God!

Blue: Thanks, man. Yeah, I know. We were together a long ti-

Red: (Auto-Tuned) A Raccoon!

(The raccoon comes out of a trashcan. The camera zooms into his eyes.)

Raccoon: Konichiwa.

Red: (Auto-Tuned) Nature's ninja.

(Blue snaps his fingers to get Red's attention.)

Red: (Auto-Tuned) Ohhhhh, shiiiiieeet!

Blue: You sound really stupid.

Red: (Auto-Tuned) Yeah, right! My voice sounds tight as ****! Hey, ladies! You like the sound of my (Waving arms in the air) voooice?!

(Women cheer & start to dance.)

Red: (Auto-Tuned) I can't hear you! I said do you like the sound of my vo-o-ooice?

(The California Love melody plays as women dance & Red gets laid by a woman. He's then showing 2 women to Blue.)

Red: (Auto-Tuned) Yo, Blue! I just found you a new girlfriend & a girl for your girlfriend. (Turns to a fat ugly girl.) (normal voice) And you can go home.

(She gets discouraged & walks away. Women continue to dance, now with limos & speakers.)

Red: (Auto-Tuned) Yeah, yeah!

Raccoon: (dancing) Shorty! Make-a that *** crap (possibly meaning "clap")!

Blue: Hmmmm... (Turns around to face 2 women who are dancing. He clears his throat & speaks nervously.) You're looking very pret-- (clears throat) Ah, ****! (1 of the women slaps him.)

Raccoon: You need to be with the grown-***, man!

(Blue looks at Raccoon suspiciously. Raccoon gives him the "finger", complete with censor. Raccoon walks away with the women. Meanwhile, Red continues to dance.)

Red: (Auto-Tuned) Yeah! Yeeeah! (Chokes & farts out a bee, which flies away.)

Bee: (Auto-Tuned) I'm free, mothafucka!

Red: (normal voice) Oh, damn, it was a bee! Yeh-hes, woman! I like your movements!

(The women give him a confused look. The limos & the women leave. Raccoon's shown with a smoke bomb.)

Raccoon: Sayonara!

(He throws the bomb down & disappears in a cloud of smoke.)

Blue: (sarcastically) Oh, man, I'm so sorry for you, you had everything, woooow...

Red: Yep. Well, looks like everything's back to norma-- (Farts for a few seconds, his leg wobbling. Blue watches in disgust.)

Blue: Why am I friends with you?

Red: 'Cause I'm aweso-!

-Episode ends-

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