Depression (When Death Sounds Beautiful)
lisa a 17 year old happy go lucky girl is in depression earlier when she was 14 year old she was the most famous girl of the school even though people called her ugly , she was still the most liked (nerdy) girl (ofcourse she was not seen as a girl) but was a girl with an intelligent brain , and with a beautiful voice , with a lot of friends and had a loving family..... but now she is the opposite she used to be , she is getting lower with her self esteem, after losing hope everyday she feels that death sounds beautiful than life.......
( lisa laying on bed while facing the ceiling and says to herself )
"" I think the world would be happy without me. no one cares about me . it's not my fault to be born ugly! as long as you are beautiful the world is okay with you even if you are dumb ....
what's wrong with everyone? ""
( gets a msg notification on phone )
lisa opens her phone and sees her mother's message...
messages from her mother "you are a shame for me you are my mistake which should have been prevented , you failed your entrance exams ..... you can never be a doctor or anything big l am happy that atleast your sister is not as dumb and ugly as you and I am happy to have a daughter like her ....But YOU ...YOU ARE A MISTAKE...."
after reading message lisa speaks to herself " now I am getting a good habit of these insults I do not even care
I already know that I am useless I do not even worth a single second here...I am just tired of trying , tired failure, tired hoping ! "
(lisa while crying she looks at her dad's last photo)
"I wish dad you were here .....dad I miss you .. you said that the person who has a good heart is appreciated by everyone in this world ..you said that looks don't matter ... you said that people here always support each other .....THEN WHY ARE THEY NOT SUPPORTING ME!!! have I done something wrong ... why they are always targeting me? why mom always insults me? when they make fun of me it.....it hurts! they just judge on the results they never think about the efforts behind it ! they never understand the situation!
it makes me cry ! why you left me ? there is no one behind me ..... mom after second marriage has forgotten about me ! ... I have no one with me ! I am left alone in this place ! I just want someone to talk to like I used to talk to you... I just want someone to say that it's okay you can do it! I just want someone to say that I am with you!! like you used to tell me dad!!""
""am I asking a lot?""
(after saying that she brokes down into tears)
[so now what actually had happened in her early sixteen which made her this depressed and lonely ? we will find that out in next chapter!!]
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Comments
두티
really when depression hits the door of your heart and when you open it than you start becoming alone, sad, depressed because there is no one than depression who comes and knock on the door again and again..... and after some time and days passed the door doesn't even exist to let someone in rather than depression and suicidal thoughts ruling your whole soul.... and that's when you feel like having death...its so tough to make that Door again and ask someone to come inside it....
2020-02-25
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