EP.1 Not enough

I’m hima hedaya, I came from a household of three. My fraternal twin sister hina, grandma and me. To be completely honest I never really cared about not having parents... it felt normal... Although others would completely sympathise with me whenever they hear my story, and weirdly enough I myself had never cared nor felt sad.

You see My mother was pregnant at sixteen with my sister and I, right after our first breath our father was killed in an accident on his way to the hospital. And so my mother was forced to give us to our grandmother and continue her schooling. She eventually met and started a family with another man which resulted in the birth of my younger brothers. Even without a father nor a mother I always thought my sister and grandma was enough. And I love them so much!

....Well I wish It had been enough for my sister. She hated our mother for leaving us, she said she had absolutely nothing to do with a woman whom abandoned her children.

As kids my sister and I were inseparable we only had each other and that was enough. We laughed, cried and grew up together. As we grew older our personalities began to differ I enjoyed watching anime, collecting figures and... reading books and manga, whilst she loved fashion and socialising with others.

We went to different schools and As more and more time went on, our bond drifted further and further apart.

As fraternal twins we look nothing alike and I’d say... she’s definitely prettier. No I’m not saying it for attention, or for someone to feel bad and compliment me. She was always the one everyone liked... people ignored me and chose her. It’s hard to have a “heather” as a sibling, I just... always feel so worthless. And I’m used to the feeling. Whenever we liked the same boy he’d always pick her... i mean no surprises there... I wish we were born with the same face... I wish people were as nice to me.

Well anyways I’m the type to sit in the class room quietly... and there’s a boy I really like for eight years now, and I want to tell him how I feel... And although I’m always alone, I have a best friend... his name is sinha or sin for short. He’s my and Hina’s childhood friend because we lived in the same neighbourhood, and I thought my sister and sin aren’t as close as they use to be after she went to a different high school.

So... yeah I like sin. We don’t really hang out at school since he’s in the basketball team But we always go out.. to the movies, park, mall and I even go with him on his dates... trust me most of the girls at school hates me!

I mean he is a popular boy, while I’m just that quiet irrelevant kid no one likes. I want to tell him how I feel... but my whole body would start trembling and my heart would beat so fast, my face so red and I would begin to stutter! I’m scared of being rejected. I just have this fear... and I just... don’t know...

I don’t want to ruin our friendship but... I.. I-

WHAT SHOULD I DO?

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