I wonder...

Thousands of bad things happen daily every hour to every minute but whats this unexpected and unwanted feeling im having. I understand im no longer available to be with you it’s impossible but i wonder ... why you still linger in my mind. I wonder why every time i see you i still get butterflies in my stomach even when i know you don’t care about me. So i wonder why everytime someones mentions your name im fighting of tears while you don’t even care . Sometimes i wish i never liked or loved you my heart aches every time i see you. U have to be happy for me But u also have to forget about meEven if you dont want toNever forget i love you but i have to let you go I don’t think i have anxiety or depression but why do i feel like my friends are slowly replacing me with my friend I introduced you guys to. Even if im sad.I know it will happen sooner or later because of how hot headed i am... i know im meaner than her.....less prettier than her.... less funnier than her. I wonder if you knew i felt the worry of losing my friends or even not being able to see you ever again. Red eyes(from crying)I like seeing you happy and not depressed even if you don’t know im feeling this way its better like this because at the end of the day seeing you happy makes it easier for me. For me to move on and though you showing me you don’t care is slowly killing me you will never ever find out. I want you to be great in life i want you to forget me completely that way it will be easier to get over you. Good bye my first love . “I wish i could love myself”-kim namjoon. I never knew how emotional a break up could be i thought my last break up hit me like a truck but this time we only went out for 2 week basically and i feel like imma die if i dont say nothing. But i know you don’t care so I don’t speak about it i move my sad *** silently crying and screaming but no sounds are coming out of my mouth. Words are useless the only tjing i could do right now is post a bunch of sad quotes. Just to have people that does not care about me ask me if im okay i tell them yes as always but its never true but don’t care enough to make sure. Im always the peacemakers I’m basically the glue when everyone in the group is mad or fighting with each other . Yes i may be smiling laugh and joking around you but at home the complete opposite of that do you want to know why because I’m scared. Scared of what people will say or think i want to tell youi still like you but you will just tell your best friend .

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