Episode _2

Well, actually, I did mind paying.

For guys like us, with limited means, dating is like playing Russian roulette. High risk, high gain. If the girl offers to split on a date and it goes well, you’re the king. If she doesn’t and the date goes bad, you’re dead. I was running out of luck.

I wished I hadn’t turned down my college senior Nitin’s invitation to his birthday treat.

But then, girls make the world go round, and I was no different.

My eyes started roving around the complex as we gulped down the slimy, sweet thing she had ordered. It was a two-storeyed building and most people sat outside. It wasn’t anything spectacular—in fact, it wasn’t even air-conditioned or heated, but then you couldn’t expect it to be. It opened primarily for railway passengers and not drunk party revellers. Every weekend it turned into a hot spot for ‘bird’ watching ! Anyone who ran out of money, got thrown out of a club or got too drunk, landed up here. So we would have here a mix of short skirts and long, flowing ones (but mostly short!) bought from anywhere on Janpath (the place where you can bargain till you drop) or some swanky upscale mall in Vasant Kunj.

Delhi girls never dress conservatively, making it a pleasure to ogle them. I had no fashion sense and anything that started below the navel and ended above mid-thigh was fine by me. Exposure is always in vogue! There is nothing more refreshing than a pair of well-toned, attractive legs. This is not objectifying women; it’s just appreciating a certain fact about them a little more than others.

Suddenly, I heard a lot of girls bitching to their boyfriends in tight T-shirts about other

girls who wore shorter skirts or heavier make-up. Those girls could have fired up a power station to full capacity. It just worsened my already sky-high testosterone levels. I tried to finish off the ice cream quickly, as it had been a pain watching her chew it down to atomic levels before swallowing.

‘Aren’t you feeling cold?’ I asked, rubbing my hands. Obviously, she wasn’t. Girls have an internal heating system that is activated once they put on a short dress or an off-shoulder.

‘No. Are you?’she asked.

‘Not really, I just thought we could sit in the car; there is too much noise out here,’ I said.

‘Are you sure?’she asked and smirked at me.

What is that supposed to mean? Is that a yes? If it is, why doesn’t she bloody say so? Can we please cut the crap and make out? At least kiss, damn it! It’s been ten months since I have done that!

I guess she was getting some kind of a sadistic pleasure in teasing me. I think all girls do.

‘Yes,’ I said.

I started walking towards the parked car, hoping she would follow. For the first time that night, I was being headstrong and manly. I definitely knew what I wanted: I was curious to know what it would be like to kiss her. I took the first few steps and paddled my hands around me to hold her by the waist but my hands caught nothing but air. She hadn’t followed, and when I looked back, I found her standing near the ice-cream vendor waiting for me to pay the guy. The night just kept getting longer. I paid the guy and asked Smriti, ‘Can we go

now?’

‘Yeah, sure,’she said.

At this point, I was destructively angry but I had to stay focused. As we walked towards the car, I handed over a hundred-rupee note to the moustached security guard. It was a worthwhile investment. I could already feel my hormones kicking into action. I pulled up my jeans and walked swiftly towards the car. The problem with low-waist jeans is that when you walk, it is always as if you have a helmet stuck right between your thighs and if you have mammoth thighs like me, God help you. Yeah, I was a little healthy and majorly detestable.

‘Deb, why did you get Vernita’s car? The mileage on it sucks, doesn’t it?’she asked as she walked ahead of me. I didn’t stop her from doing that. Her skirt looked even shorter and more alluring from behind. Yeah, I was being a cheap pervert. But then, every guy goes through this phase!

‘My car wasn’t serviced,’ I said. It doesn’t have tinted glasses.

She was playing around. She couldn’t possibly be concerned with the mileage of the car I drove. If she had, she would have offered to go Dutch, or at least paid for her own ice cream. I might have refused, but she could have offered!

As soon as we settled down in the car, I got the elementary step wrong. However, I didn’t blame myself for it. It had been quite some time since I had stared at a real ***** girl and I was dying to do it that night. I had started to rub my nose against the nape of her neck, which was meant to send her into the throes of a hormonal overdrive.

‘Are you trying to seduce me, Deb?’she asked. I don’t think she didn’t like it, but I think she still wanted to play hard to get.

‘Mmm … err … no.’

‘Mmm, err, no,’she mocked me and I turned red, only to turn scarlet later. ‘You might have had your way with girls in the past, but not this time,’she said.

It was strange because I had never had my way with girls in the past. Girls always found me repulsive in that department.

‘As in? What do you mean?’

‘As in, I will initiate things when I feel like doing so, when I am comfortable with it.’ I

was embarrassed at my failed attempt. She was in control? Something in that tone was incredibly inviting. I wanted her bad now. Only I didn’t know how to go about it. Stupid nerd.

‘Okay, whatever you say. I love you,’ I said.

‘I love you, too,’she replied and I faked a smile, as an airhostess would at ogling old

perverts when what she really wants is to have minced by the turbine blades. I sunk back into my seat, wondering if there was any porn left to download. I wished I were in Mumbai or Bangalore. Delhi girls are tough, Shrey had once told me.

‘Why do you love me?’she asked. She looked at me as if she was expecting me take out a pen and start making a list on a mile-long piece of toilet paper.

‘You are very different from others.’ That was supposed to include everything on the list.

‘How am I different from the other girls you have gone out with?’

I resisted telling her she was no different; she asked the same questions they had.

‘I love you. With the others, it didn’t feel the way it feels with you. It wasn’t love. Love is what I feel for you, pure and untainted. With you, I feel different, I feel special, wanted. I feel loved and I long to make you feel the same. You make me feel so … You complete me, Smriti. I love you. I really do.’

I paused and stuttered. It nearly sounded spontaneous!

‘How sweet, Deb! I love you too. You are not as bad as my friends tell me. You are so sweet,’she said and ran her hand over my cheeks. A little lower, a little lower, just a little lower, damn it!

Suddenly, I felt something against my cheek, something nice and delightfully wet. Oh, man! She was kissing me. For real! I tried hard to stay still, to see what she would do. I opened one eye and saw a bit of my cheek disappearing inside her mouth and being slathered all over by her tongue. I woke up wondering what I had missed.

‘Deb, you look cuter when you are sleeping.’

‘I am going right back to sleep, don’t you dare stop.’

She started all the nice stuff, crossed one of her legs over mine and sat on my lap until her neck was within licking distance. And then she let go. She kissed me as if it was her last kiss, grabbed my hands and placed them over her breasts as she moaned ecstatically, and ran her hands all over my chest and even lower. It had started to feel real good; I slipped my hand inside her T-shirt, and trailed my fingers up her back to whatever she was wearing

inside. I was just about to unhook the joys of being a man, when she stopped me.

‘Nuh-huh … not that quick, boy,’she said as she pulled my hands out.

‘Why not?’ I asked, as I pulled my hand out and placed it beneath her skirt and, convinced that she would not notice, moved it up slowly. I aimed for the stars. Clothes can be a pain. Why the hell couldn’t we just be dressed like prehistoric cave men with neither clothes nor any source of entertainment other than … you know …?

‘No, not that fast, Deb. We will save the rest for later. It’s not fun doing everything at once.’

‘But—’ I said dejectedly. I had a major physiological problem in my pants but she was no longer interested.

‘I don’t feel like doing anything else right now,’she said as she grabbed my hand and pulled it out from its silken abode.

Now what was I to make of it? I had done reasonably well, to think of it. It was officially our first night-out and the fifth date and to have managed all that I had until then was commendable. It came at a price, but who cared? I was no longer angry. I loved her.

I took heart from the fact that she had said that we would not do everything at once. That probably meant we would do it but not at once.

It was getting easier to love her. She left me with some big mosquito bites on my neck. If mosquitoes ever grew up to the size of dogs, that is. The kisses were great, so I decided I would continue loving her. And I did. After all, it is easier to love a busy, smart girl— who’s a good kisser rather than loving somebody you love. Smriti was turning out to be amazing in all the visual and tangible assets and I loved it.

As I drove home, I tried to think of an explanation for those love bites. Mom would definitely ask about those marks if she saw them. I tried my sister’s concealers and they helped a bit. I roamed around in ancient turtlenecks for the next few days.

I was shallow and I knew that. I loved being so and I knew many guys who would have loved to swap places with me.

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