Starting Over

I'm lying here in my bed and just staring blankly at my ceiling. I should not cry. Not again. Not here.

I already cried a lot in the bus haha. And no one should see me crying in this house. No way.

I gotta pick myself because it'll be Monday again. Classes again. Why does it so hard to be a college student.

Thinking back, it still feels so unreal. I'm feeling numb at the same time I'm hurt.

He made sure that I got on the bus and texting me to update him if I already got home.

Stupid me because, I dont want to reply him. I dont want to see him again.

Its just that i'm still hurt.

But, I also decided that I will stay right?

Now, now, i'm so confused.

I might just go with the flow. I should stay strong.

Mind as well, I'll just go to sleep. Because later, is another nightmare.

Weeks passed, we haven't really that strong communication anymore. Sometimes, i'm the one who's making the space because the pain just keeps on coming back.

*ting*

I was shocked, excited and hurt when I saw his name pops out. He reminded me of our film showing tomorrow.

We are both part of a production. I'm a make - up artist and he's the audio. And tomorrow, one of our big film will be shown in the mall.

I'm thinking not to go because I will see him again and some of his family.

Well, his uncle is our director and most of the staff are his cousin.

And, for 3 years of friendship and 2 years of more than a friendship, I already know most of them. He already introduced me to his family.

As a bestfriend.

But I have no objections. We already talked about it the moment we confessed to each other.

It's still also not the right time to be in a relationship and we made promises to our mothers. That's why, we just settled of loving each other without being in a relationship.

But during those years, we know that he is mine, I am his.

But, that is that. haha.

Going back, he's still persuading me to attend.

What should I do? I don't know what I should do and How should I act if I will go.

"I won't come if you won't come. You know me. I'll do what I said."

Now, now.

I also don't want him to miss the show! Geez! He surely know how to get me. Hays.

Why are you doing this to me :<

"Fine. Fine. I'll go. Just make sure that you'll also, okay?"

Defeated. Or what you call, "Marupok".

"See you then, babz :)"

O M G