Something Spectacular: Two

2.

I was walking down the University pathway the next day when i met my godmother. I rarely see her at the University this early.

“Good morning.” I greeted. “What are you doing here this early?”

She smiled at me. She is wearing a slacks and a cream blouse. She looked very formal. Like in just one glimpse you already know that she is a professor or a lawyer.

“Im just adjusting my class schedule. How about you? Did you eat?”

Actually I was going to the cafeteria for lunch at that time. “I'm about to.”

She looked at her wrist watch. “Lets have a lunch together.”

I no longer refused when she invited me to a nearby cafe at the University. After ordering, we sat down near the glass wall where the College of Arts and Social Science can be seen.

“Its been a long time since I ate with you.” she said when our orders came. “When was the last time? I think it was your brother Francis' birthday.”

I nodded. It was almost a month ago. On the birthday of her eldest son Brother Francis. Brother Francis is twenty two years old. He's three years older than me. But he is still third year college like me because he keep changing course. First he took a business course, then shifted to nursing, then engineering, until he choose culinary.

“How is he?”

She stopped eating. “He's good.” she said. “He looks happy with his course now. He lasted one year and a half, which is an improvement.”

I remember him always getting in trouble inside or even outside the school. He does not attend class. That he dropped in his subjects.

I remembered his father's birthday wish for him. He hoped that Brother Francis figure out what he wants to do in life and hoped it makes him happy.

I used to ignore about those things.

I wish it makes you happy or I wish for your happiness. I thought that request was very general. It's too common for a birthday wish. It also seems like the default birthday wish when you have really nothing to say.

But as time went on, I gradually came to see its importance. Are you happy? Is such a difficult question. If someone would ask me this right now, I wouldn't know how to answer it. I don't know if I'm happy doing the things I'm doing or I'm only doing this things out of someone else's happiness.

“People always notice how good he is in the kitchen” my godmother said. “It's almost natural for him to cook.”

Brother Francis is good in almost every dish. When there's a feast, you would think that you're in a high end restaurant when he is the one who cooked the foods.

“But when I asked him before, he always said he didn’t take it seriously. Just for fun when there's a feast. But I think he's just afraid.”

I stopped eating. “Why is that?”

“Francis finally found his passion.” she said. “But he's afraid to face it on because this time if he's going to mess up, he's going to mess up something that is really important to him.”

I couldn't speak.

“How about you Isabelle?” I blinked and faced her.

“Other than being a student, what do you want to do?”

Her question lingered on me the whole day. I couldn't answer it. It was as if asking me about my preferences and what im fond of caught me off guard. Because I don't think what I want is significant enough.

“You're not going to be a student forever. Don't let your schooling interfere with who you are”

But I don't even know if I have a life outside the of the school or if I have an identity other than being a straight-A student. Except as Isabelle that everybody expected to be seen, I don't know if me that I want to see existed. I'm too focus preparing for the future that I don't even know who I am at this moment.

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