Towards the end of the year

As I already mentioned, I had already fallen deeply in love with him, and it felt impossible for me to resist anything he said. His words had a strange power over me. Even the smallest message from him could make my whole day feel brighter.

Normally, I was not the type of person who used social media often or played games during school days. I usually kept my phone away and focused on my studies. But this time everything felt different. I slowly started keeping those apps on my phone just so I could text him whenever he wanted to talk. It became a small routine in my life. Every day I waited for his messages, and whenever my phone buzzed, my heart would immediately become excited.

Soon, playing games together became our nightly habit. Almost every night he would text me something like, “Are you free tonight?” or “Do you have any work to do?” And even if I had homework waiting for me or something unfinished, I would still reply, “Yes, I am free. I have nothing to do.” The truth was that I simply wanted to spend more time with him. Being with him, even through a screen, made me feel happy and calm.

I wanted to stay in those little moments forever. I wanted to keep being his lover girl, someone who was always there to laugh with him, play games with him, and talk about random things late at night.

Since I had decided that I would enjoy the year when I entered Class 9, I truly did. That year felt different from the others. My nights were often filled with long chats, playful arguments in games, and small jokes that only we understood.

Many nights I stayed up later than I should have, talking and playing games with him. But even then, he always reminded me to take care of myself. He would tell me to sleep early and make sure I got at least six or seven hours of rest. In his own quiet way, he cared about me, and that made those nights feel even more special.

For half of the year until it finally ended, I felt the kind of love I had always wished for. Having someone I admired care about me made me feel lucky and special. It was a feeling I had never experienced before, and it slowly became a very important part of my days.

Throughout the year, I was always an introvert when it came to love. I was quiet and kept my feelings to myself. But after talking and chatting with him every day, something slowly changed inside me. It felt as if I had known him for a very long time, even though it had not been that long. Our conversations felt natural and comfortable. He shared many things with me, including his knowledge and advice. He often told me to become a better person and focus on improving myself. Even now, his words still echo inside my head.

By the end of the year, I had become a different person. In many ways, I had changed because of him. One day he asked me, “With whom did you play games?” It happened when I played games while he was not there. Because of that, he started to think that maybe I did not enjoy playing games with him. But that was not true at all. The reason I played games with him was because he once told me to grind more and practice together so that we could become better players.

Sometimes I logged in to the game when he was busy, just to practice a little. But that made him overthink. Because of that situation, I slowly changed myself and became more careful about whom I played games with. Unlike before, I no longer played or talked with random people. I became more quiet and distant with others. I only talked to people whom I trusted and knew were good.

In the end, I explained everything to him and cleared his doubts. Only after that conversation did my heart finally feel at ease again.

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