THE ROAST OF THE MULTIVERSE

The debate hall had not calmed down since SpongeBob’s first wave of chaos. In fact, the place now looked like a cross between a WWE arena, a Comic-Con panel, and Bikini Bottom on a Jellyfishing Festival. The audience was foaming with rage, laughter, and pure disbelief. Heroes, villains, gods, and mortals alike were whispering the same words: “How is this sponge winning?”

Zeus, king of Olympus, banged his lightning bolt like a gavel.

“ENOUGH! I, Zeus, ruler of gods, will restore order!”

SpongeBob turned slowly, like a sponge-shaped Clint Eastwood in a western. He held up his spatula, glinting in the divine light.

“Oh no… it’s the guy who cheated on every goddess within a ten-mile radius. Real impressive résumé, big guy. Tell me, do you also zap your kids when they don’t call on Father’s Day?”

The crowd howled. Hera stood up from the divine section.

“He’s not wrong, dear.”

Zeus deflated like a popped balloon and sat back down.

Before SpongeBob could continue, Thor stomped forward, swinging Mjolnir.

“You dare mock the gods?!”

SpongeBob squinted, unimpressed.

“Oh look, it’s Discount Zeus with better hair. Cute hammer. Does it come in adult size?”

The audience went insane. Iron Man snorted soda through his helmet. Loki screamed “HE’S ROASTING YOU, BRO!” Thor, red with rage, hurled Mjolnir at SpongeBob.

The hammer flew like a meteor — and passed harmlessly through SpongeBob’s holes. It got stuck in him like a fork in Swiss cheese. SpongeBob looked down at it, shrugged, and said:

“Cool toothpick.”

He flossed his square teeth with Thor’s hammer.

The Avengers collectively fainted.

---

Meanwhile, Goku, Vegeta, and the entire Dragon Ball roster tried to regroup after being clowned in Chapter 1. Vegeta stood, trembling with rage.

“This sponge is mocking the pride of the Saiyans!”

SpongeBob leaned forward, his eyes twinkling.

“Aw, Vegeta, you remind me of Squidward: always mad, always losing, and forever stuck in second place.”

The audience exploded. Even Frieza laughed, slapping his knee.

“BAHAHA! He called you Squidward!”

Vegeta charged his Final Flash. SpongeBob casually pulled out a bubble wand and blew a giant bubble shaped like a bathroom mirror. Vegeta’s blast bounced back, vaporizing his own armor. SpongeBob pointed at him.

“Look at you! Now you’re just naked Squidward.”

---

The chaos spread. Disney characters entered the stage to defend their honor. Elsa stomped her icy heels.

“You can’t defeat the power of Frozen!”

SpongeBob gasped dramatically.

“Oh no! She’s gonna sing at us until we beg for mercy!”

Elsa prepared her “Let It Go” stance, but SpongeBob whipped out a Krabby Patty.

“This has more layers than your character arc.”

The princesses booed. Even Olaf muttered, “Yeah, he’s kinda right.”

Mickey Mouse stormed in, furious.

“Ha-ha! You can’t insult Disney, pal! We own everything!”

SpongeBob leaned close, eyes gleaming.

“Oh yeah? Own this roast.”

He grabbed Mickey’s ears like headphones and said:

“Look at me, everybody — I’m Mickey Mouse, professional copyright hoarder. I’m 100 years old and still sound like I’m inhaling helium.”

The crowd collapsed. Donald Duck tried to curse SpongeBob out but only quacked incomprehensibly. SpongeBob mimicked him perfectly, then added subtitles: “I’m mad because Goofy gets more memes than me.”

---

Anime characters weren’t spared either. Naruto ran forward with his shadow clones.

“You won’t mock me! Believe it!”

SpongeBob snickered.

“Bro, your catchphrase sounds like a shampoo commercial.”

Naruto blinked.

“...what?”

“‘Believe it!’ Like, what are we believing? That you’re gonna scream until your enemies surrender? At least Goku’s hair changes color. Yours just gets shinier.”

The entire Hidden Leaf gasped. Sasuke chuckled under his breath.

“He roasted you, dobe.”

Naruto collapsed in defeat, clutching his ramen.

---

And just when it seemed SpongeBob was done, he pointed at the sky, shouting:

“Bring me the strongest of them all! I’ll roast anyone! Cartoon, anime, game, myth, doesn’t matter! I am the sponge that laughs in the face of logic!”

From the heavens descended a glowing figure… Shrek.

The ogre marched forward, dramatic music blasting.

“This is my swamp. And it’s time you leave.”

The arena went silent. Even Goku gulped.

SpongeBob tilted his head.

“Oh look, a walking meme compilation. Bro, your most famous quote is ‘Donkey!’ That’s not a catchphrase, that’s animal abuse.”

Shrek snarled and swung his fist. SpongeBob blocked with… a bubble wand. The fist popped like soap. Shrek stared at his hand in shock. SpongeBob whispered:

“This… is the power… of ima-gina-tion.”

The crowd screamed so loud the arena nearly exploded.

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