panic attack

3

When she regained consciousness… the cradle beside her was empty.

She didn’t know why, but a heavy guilt began to weigh on her…

A strange sorrow settled deep within her…

She kept trying to console herself by thinking again and again that the sin was now far away from her…

But no matter what she did—after all, a mother is always a mother…

Even with all the hatred… still her heart felt pain… a pain she was unwilling to admit.

With time, the wounds began to heal slowly…

Three or four months later… when she was a little better… Faiza Begum started taking her back to the café again.

💞 Husny Kanwal 💞

He used to come there every day to give tuition…

Anum would just stand at the counter silently… watching him.

His innocent, handsome face… those bright hazel eyes…

The silky hair fell across his radiant forehead… which he kept brushing aside with his hand every now and then…

He was a thin, lean boy… but for some reason her eyes found him very appealing…

“Why don’t you restart your studies too… Look, all these girls are your age… they take tuition here. You can join them as well…” Faiza Begum had already sensed what Anum’s eyes were focused on. She said with a smile.

“Me??… How??” She grew worried.

“What do you mean how? Just like the other girls study, you study too… Don’t worry about the fee—I’ll pay it.” Faiza Begum deliberately ignored her hesitation… because she wanted Anum to come out of her painful past.

“But…?” She became anxious even over small matters…

That incident had left a very bad impact on her mind…

“No buts… Come with me.” Holding her hand, Faiza Begum led her towards Bilal.

“Bilal, son… this is my niece.” She introduced her.

As soon as Bilal looked up at her… her body turned cold.

She swallowed with difficulty…

“ Salaam ,” Bilal greeted first.

But instead of replying… she stood there, confused and nervous… just staring at his handsome face.

From close, that wretched boy looked even more handsome and captivating… which made her fall into a strange state.

“Anum, reply to the salam, child.” All the other students were staring at her curiously… while she, instead of replying, clutched the ends of her dupatta tightly in her fists… frozen like a statue… only gazing at their teacher.

At Faiza Begum’s gentle reminder, she finally gathered courage and answered softly, " Salaam.”

Her voice was so faint that no one but she herself could hear it.

“Louder, dear…” Faiza Begum knew very well how hard it was for her to talk to new people.

“ Salaam ,” Anum repeated, this time in a clearer voice.

“She’s very shy… don’t talk to anyone… I wanted her to study with you. She’ll be taking the 9th exams this year too…” Faiza Begum explained to Bilal.

“But… Aunty… the year is already ending. The board exams are in a month. How will she cover everything? Besides, I teach group study—I can’t give her a separate time.” He spoke apologetically.

“She’s very intelligent… I’ve already filled out her private exam form. She can’t attend school regularly due to her health. When I already have children studying here in my cafe, why should I send her far away? You know how today’s conditions are… Just give her some separate time… you can even charge more fees for her.” Faiza Begum signaled him aside, so he told the students to keep studying and then walked with her.

“It’s not about the fee… it’s about how she’ll cover the syllabus in so little time. If the result isn’t good, you’ll hold me responsible.” He explained carefully.

“That won’t happen… I’m telling you, my niece is very intelligent. Just teach her once and see.” She pleaded softly, but her voice carried confidence.

She truly believed in Anum’s intelligence.

“If you insist this much, then fine… I’ll teach her,” he finally agreed quietly.

“Thank you,” she said quickly.

“Sit down…” When he returned, Anum was still standing. He glanced at her as he took his seat and said gently.

“Where?” She panicked, for all the chairs around the round table were occupied—except the one right next to Bilal.

She didn’t want to sit that close to him…

“Here… this seat is free.” Bilal casually moved the chair beside him.

Hesitantly, she sat down.

“Hmm… First let me take a small test to see how much you know…” He spoke seriously, pushing a chemistry book towards her.

“Here, you have one hour. Prepare, then I’ll test you.”

“How many chapters?” she asked softly.

“As many as you can… but memorize them so well that you don’t make a single mistake. Even if it’s just one chapter.” He instructed firmly.

“Hmm.” She nodded and opened the book.

Bilal kept watching her flip through the pages… as if she were playing. Every minute she turned two to three pages.

Her actions irritated him. Was she mocking his instructions?

Just because she was beautiful didn’t mean she could do whatever she pleased.

Wasn’t it enough that on the very first day, she dared to play with the pages in front of him? If she thought her beauty gave her special rights… he wanted to break that illusion right away.

When it came to studies, he was extremely strict.

He had no interest in girls’ beauty. Only those who truly wanted to learn could study with him.

He hadn’t even wanted to take her as a student; he agreed only because of Faiza Begum’s insistence.

So he just waited for the hour to pass, so he could test her properly and dismiss her on the first day itself.

But before the full hour was over… she shut the book and placed it in front of him.

That annoyed him even more.

“If you don’t want to study, why are you wasting my time?” he said angrily.

“Sorry??” She didn’t understand why he was mad at her.

“I said, if you’re not here to study, then are you just here to stare at me?” he asked in a sharp, mocking tone. She trembled.

It was true she had often secretly watched him because he pleased her eyes… but she was serious about studying.

“N… no… I… I came to… to study…” she stammered, gathering whatever courage she had.

“You came to study?? How? By closing the book like this?” His tone was still harsh.

All the other students were staring at her now, making her more nervous.

She couldn’t understand why Bilal was angry with her.

“Y-you… you asked me to memorize… I… I did it… so I closed the book…” she whispered, eyes downcast, her words broken and stammering.

“So how many chapters did you memorize?” he asked mockingly.

“Complete…” she replied in a single word.

“I mean, how many chapters are complete?” He forced himself to stay calm.

“The complete book…” she answered quickly out of fear. She didn’t want to anger him further.

“What??” Bilal was stunned at her reply.

“The whole book??” He looked at her in shock, needing confirmation.

“Yes.” She nodded firmly.

Not just Bilal, but all the students stared at her in disbelief—as though she were some eighth wonder of the world.

“Then give the test.” He still couldn’t believe her, so he opened the chemistry book and began asking questions.

The beautiful girl answered every single question word for word, exactly as written in the book. Bilal was left speechless.

“Impossible… How?? You memorized this whole book in just one hour??” It was beyond belief… but she had done it, right there in front of everyone.

Bilal was immediately won over by her intelligence.

“Hmm.” She just nodded.

For her, this was nothing extraordinary.

That was how she always studied. That’s why she used to top the entire school. Everyone admired her brilliance.

Rukhsar had so many dreams tied to her future… Remembering that often brought tears to Anum’s eyes.

Bilal, embarrassed, apologized to her in front of everyone: “Sorry… I got angry at you for no reason.”

“Hmm.” She only nodded in response.

“Didn’t you forgive me?” He was puzzled when she gave no direct answer.

“No… I mean… I did.” She replied shyly, her gaze lowered.

She couldn’t tell him that just being the center of his gaze made her nervous.

“Okay… thank you.” He felt sorry for having misunderstood her.

Yes, she was breathtakingly beautiful, but not arrogant at all.

💞 Husny Kanwal 💞

She returned home from college and headed straight to the kitchen.

Taking a bottle of water from the fridge, she walked to her room.

She switched on the TV, dropped herself onto the sofa with the remote in her left hand, and opened the water bottle. Just as she brought it to her lips, the news on TV made her ears sharpen.

“Our channel brings you breaking news… Noman Waleed, son of the famous politician Mr. Waleed, has completed his studies and returned to Pakistan today. Our correspondent lives at the airport. Let’s go to Mr. Faisal… Yes, Faisal, can you confirm if Noman Waleed really arrived in Karachi today? And what about the rumors of his engagement to Alishbah Miraj? Did she come to the airport to welcome him?” the anchor reported in her sharp tone.

The moment she heard Noman's name, fear gripped her.

In her panic, the water bottle slipped from her hand and spilled all over her clothes—and the remote.

“Ahhhhhhh!” she suddenly began screaming loudly.

Three years had passed since that tragedy. Her life had almost returned to normal.

But at the very news of Noman’s return, all those painful memories came rushing back.

That wild beast had ruined her life, and yet here he was—promptly returning from abroad after finishing his education.

Her sister had been killed.

Her Honor stolen.

She had been declared dead in front of the world.

Her child—God knows where it was growing up, whether alive or dead—she didn’t even know.

And in contrast… he was living a lavish, carefree life. His engagement to the daughter of a well-known businessman, Alishbah Miraj, was about to be announced. Not a single trace of grief touched him.

Bitterness boiled inside her heart. She wanted to kill him. The cruel man who had stripped her life of every ounce of happiness.

“Anum… what happened, child? Why are you crying?” Faiza Begum had been waiting for her at the cafe, as she did every day. When Anum didn’t come, she grew worried and returned home. There she found the girl on the floor, curled into a corner against the wall, her delicate face buried in her knees, sobbing uncontrollably. Seeing her like that left Faiza deeply troubled.

“Phupo… h-he’s back…” Hearing her voice, Anum threw herself into her aunt’s arms, trembling as she cried.

“Who’s back?” Faiza asked, puzzled.

“That monster… him…” Even his name was enough to fill her with terror.

“Noman? But child, why are you so afraid just because he returned to Pakistan?”

“Because h-he’ll find out… that I’m alive… h-he’ll come back for me…” She couldn’t even finish her sentence before breaking into louder sobs. Fear gripped her so tightly that words wouldn’t form.

“He can’t harm you. In his eyes, you’re already dead. He’s moved on with his life. Why would he search for a girl the world believes is gone? Don’t be afraid, Anum. Don’t let this fear rule you. It only weakens you. Be strong—so strong that if fate ever brings you face-to-face with him again, the fear will appear in his eyes, not yours. Because he is the sinner, not you. Be brave, my child. Otherwise, you’ll never be able to begin a new life. Don’t let his shadow darken you anymore. He can’t take anything else from you. The most precious thing a woman has is her honor—and that beast already stole it. What else is left to fear? He can’t destroy you anymore. So relax. There’s no reason to be scared.”

Her words gave Anum courage.

And yet… no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t shake Noman’s shadow from her heart and mind.

That night, after a long time, she slept in Faiza Begum’s room.

💞 Husny Kanwal 💞

The rain was pouring heavily outside.

Bilal had sent all his students home early.

That simple-hearted boy was in his final year of engineering. Alongside studies, he also worked small jobs.

His father owned a small barber shop—but Bilal never once felt ashamed to tell anyone.

It was difficult for him to travel house-to-house for tutoring. So he had spoken to Faiza Begum, who allowed him to use the café during the quiet afternoon hours.

Since customers rarely came in the afternoons, she agreed.

And the arrangement benefitted both—students often bought something before leaving, giving her a little profit too.

Just as Faiza Begum didn’t charge him for the space, Bilal never charged Anum any fee for tutoring either.

Over those three years, Bilal had become very dear to Anum.

He wasn’t some wealthy prince—just an ordinary boy. Yet for the hazel-eyed girl, he was extraordinary.

What the heart loves can never be ordinary.

Whenever he was around, she felt a strange pull, a quiet happiness.

As long as he was in sight, her heart felt free from every sorrow.

“Take this umbrella, you’ll get soaked otherwise.” After dismissing the students, he started walking outside. Seeing him leave, the girl hurried after him with an umbrella. She opened it and held it out to him. But instead of taking it, he spread his arms wide under the open sky, letting the rain drench him.

“In weather like this, what’s the use of an umbrella?” Closing his eyes, he tilted his handsome face upward and smiled into the downpour.

The raindrops gliding down his face stirred something deep in her heart.

He wore a simple yellow hoodie and white pants.

In just a few moments, he was drenched.

An overwhelming desire rose in her to reach out and touch him. But the next instant, she tapped her own head playfully and smiled.

Maybe… she was falling in love with this simple-hearted boy.

“What fun could an umbrella give? The real joy of rain is getting wet.” He could feel her admiring gaze on him. With a gentle smile, he looked her way and spoke softly.

She had always been afraid of the rain. But in her rush to hand him the umbrella, she had forgotten her fear.

For the first time in her life, rain looked beautiful. She wondered—why had she ever been afraid of it? The rain was so sweet.

She stretched her right hand out from under the umbrella. Instantly, cool drops soaked her palm.

Then she couldn’t resist anymore. She pushed the umbrella aside.

From the counter inside, Faiza Begum watched through the glass doors. Seeing Anum step into the rain with Bilal, a wide smile spread across her face.

Just like Bilal, Anum closed her eyes and lifted her glowing, moon like face to the sky.

In imitating him, she felt an unfamiliar happiness.

Lost in her joy, she had no idea that a Pajero stood parked nearby… and inside it, someone’s piercing gaze was fixed only on her.

When that man saw Anum copying Bilal’s every move, he smiled.

💞 Husny Kanwal 💞

“Anum… you are called to the principal’s office.”

She was sitting in class during the break, reading, when the in-charge teacher came and gently informed her.

“Okay… ma’am…” she replied, a little worried.

Why was she suddenly being called to the principal’s office?

Still, she had to go. She placed her pen inside the book, closed it, and stood up, walking toward the office.

At the principal’s door, she knocked politely and asked permission to enter.

A soft voice came from inside: “Come in.”

She stepped in. The large white door behind her closed suddenly, making her turn around in alarm.

“Who closed the door?” her voice trembled with fear.

The principal’s desk stood in front of her, but the chair was turned the other way, hiding the person’s face.

Struggling to steady her nerves, she moved closer. “Sir, did you call me?”

The chair slowly spun around—

and all the color drained from her face.

What she had never imagined… happened.

It wasn’t the principal. It was noman

He was dressed in a white t-shirt and black jeans.

His mysterious black eyes were fixed on her fragile existence.

The sight of this sworn enemy stole her breath.

A wave of terror struck her delicate soul. Those days of torment began replaying before her eyes like a film.

Her mouth opened, gasping for air…

Her gray eyes widened in horror, red veins visible.

She was having a panic attack.

#ToBeContinued 😊

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