A New Day

Akari Sato

Do you have days that feel like it goes on and on?

Do you ever tell people that you are okay, but you are not deep inside.

Do you ever feel like that even if you accomplish something, you still had the empty feeling inside of you no matter what?

Do you ever that you want to be alone and wish that everyone in your life will disappear already?

Let be honest with ourselves. We all probably had those feeling sometime.

Not everyone is gonna to be all perky and sunshine and not everyone is gonna to love each other each day of their miserable life.

Let face it, everyone don't love everyone. As there are some people who get on your nerves pretty easily. It could be your brother, your sister, a celebrity, or a classmate. No matter what, you could not deny the burning pit in your heart , just wishing that person could leave you alone and die already.

That someone who I'm talking about is me. There are plenty of reason on why I hate myself:

I don't a voice of my own to speak up.

I don't smile very often.

I hardly believe in myself as I alway see myself as a failure.

And I hardly chuckles.

All I had is a thought of death, tears of blood behind me, and my many failed attempt of suicide.

Nothing about me is what you say is interesting. I had short red hair, and hazel eyes, which displayed a cold stare to everyone who see me every day. My skin is pale as snow, I'm a normal height for a Japanese schoolgirl, and don't you dare ask me about my weight or else. As for my life, I live in the southern part of Tokyo, where it fuckin cold throughout most of the year.

I am what you call a boring, normal japanese schoolgirl.

Except I'm not.

If I hadn't tried to kill myself 96 times, that title would remained.

All of my attempt to off myself had always been in failures all of because of one person who keep getting in my way.

He act like he care about me every time he rescue me from my latest attempt. But to me, I think he keep rescuing me so that he could be a famous hero. So to me, he a fake.

Everyone in this day and age are fake. All most people care about is being famous for doing nothing like those Instagram t***s. Everybody want to be on the news, had their show, be featured on many website, and with the publicity we received, my suicide attempts were perfect for that.

Mizuki Odagirl- is the guy who should have stay out of this mess.

Mizuki and I are the same age, and we both are senior at Tokyo high. He is what you call the most popular guy in school. Unfortunely we had to wear uniform, which I hate wearing these sailor uniform as they make me uncomfortable. The only thing that make me stood out is these headphone I wear everyday to avoid people.

I don't bother paying attention in class as the lecture are so boring to me. I miss being homeschool at least at home, I could sleep in and wake up anytime I want. I could study anytime I want and I would be in the privacy of my own room. Sadly, my parents felt that I need to experience the real world, so I was forced to take the entrance test to Tokyo high and I pass the test to my misfortune and now I'm stuck here during most of the day.

Either way, I stay at the school for the food. (Even through it taste like crap.) I go to a few classes to complain about the Japan eduction system. The school district knew about my attempt of suicide, I told them why and they just back off and leave me alone.

I miss being with my parents and my younger sisters and I want to see them again.

At this point in time, no one stopped me because no one care about me except for him.

As I walk into the school with my phone on my left hand and my headphone on my right hand.

Unlike other students, I'm not very popular around here. I just go through the hall as I'm a ghost of the school. It don't bother me that much as I used to being ignored by everyone in this stupid school. Technically , it was all of my fault in the first place, as the only time I spoke is when I introduce myself to my class. After that I didn't speak that much and that when everyone begin treating me like a ghost.

Yesterday, was the worst day of my life. As a couple of students saw me jumping off the school roof , where Mizuki caught me.

Like he always does.

It annoying and embrassing because every time Mizuki 'saved' me. He doesn't said anything to me and leave without saying a word.

It seem like Mizuki entire life is decidated to save poor little me.

Poor little me. It make me sound like Princess Peach or damsel who need saving every day.

I ran through the halls and ran out to the soccer field. I looked up to the sky and stopped in the middle of the field.

Any second now and "he" should appear.

I was right as Mizuki appear behind me.

To be continued.

Author note: do not attempt to commit suicide in real life. If you having dark thought or depressed.

Call your hotline number and they will help you with your problem.

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