...The weight of holding on...

There was a time when she would never beg for love...

She believed that if someone truly cared, they would show it without being asked. She believed self-respect should never be sacrificed just to feel wanted. She believed love was supposed to feel secure, not uncertain.....

During her last semester, when he was hurt bcz of her .... everything has changed ... its all her  fault ....

After her finals, she left the university. What they had did not end — it simply turned into long distance. And that distance made everything harder than she had imagined.....

Still, she did not give up ....

She tried and tried and tried. ......

Even when every minute felt heavy..

.Every hour felt painful.... Every day felt like she was holding onto something that was slowly slipping away.... She would look at her phone hoping for a message...

She would replay old conversations just to feel close again.....She convinced herself that this phase would pass, that love only needed time......

After two months, they met again...

He agreed to stop the things he had done that hurt her. She agreed to trust him again.....

For the first time in a while, she felt happy. She felt that waiting for him had not been meaningless. That maybe patience was proof of strength.....

They started talking regularly again.....

But it was not like before. ..

Earlier, they used to think they had no reason to fight. Now, it felt like there were too many reasons, and they could not speak peacefully...

Small misunderstandings turned into long discussions... Simple questions became arguments... Still, she kept hope inside her that one day everything would become normal again...

One day, he told her to find a job near the university so they could spend more time together and make the relationship healthy...

After some time, she found a job. It was not even in her field, but she decided to take it anyway. She ignored the voice inside her that reminded her of her own dreams. She returned to the university city — for them.....

She told herself love sometimes asks for adjustments......

They began meeting daily. Sometimes those meetings made her happy. They would sit together, talk about random things, and for a few moments she would feel safe again. But most of the time, they argued over things that were important to her......

When she was happy, he stayed close...

But when she was hurt because of his behavior, he would disappear until she approached him first..... His silence would stretch for hours, sometimes days....

And she would sit there thinking —

should she call????

Should she message???

Should she wait???

In the end, she always chose to reach out....

She tried to explain what was hurting her. She chose her words carefully so they would not sound like accusations. He would promise he would never repeat those actions again. He would say he understood. He would say she mattered....

Some days, she felt like she meant everything to him.......

Other days, she felt invisible.....

There were moments when he made her feel special — like she was the most important person in his world...... And then there were days when she felt like an option, like someone he remembered only when it was convenient.....

She could not understand why he could not stand beside her during her difficult moments, when she had always stood beside him during his. She listened to his problems. She supported his stress. She reassured his doubts. She made space for his emotions.....

But when she needed reassurance, he needed distance....

She began questioning herself....

Was she expecting too much???

Was she being too sensitive???

Or

was she simply asking for the bare minimum???

But somewhere along the way, she changed.....

The girl who once valued her own peace first…...

The girl who placed her self-respect above everything…...

The girl who would never bend for anyone....

Slowly became someone who waits...

Someone who asks for time...

Someone who hopes for love, care, and reassurance....

She started adjusting her reactions...She stopped expressing everything she felt...

She accepted apologies without seeing lasting change....

She told herself that understanding is more important than ego.....

But deep inside, she knew it was not ego she was protecting — it was dignity she was losing.....

She broke pieces of her own self-respect just to hold the relationship together.....

It is not that he is a bad person...

He can be kind.....He can be caring... He can make her laugh.....

But he has become someone she does not recognize anymore.... Someone inconsistent.....Someone who chooses his comfort first.....

She fell for the boy who made her his priority — even above his friends. He once said she was his priority over his family too....

She always reminded him that family should come first. But hearing that she mattered so much made her feel secure.... It made her believe he would never leave.....

Now, she feels like she stands at the end of his list of priorities......

She notices how quickly he responds to others, how easily he makes time for things that interest him. ..

And she wonders why asking for his time feels like asking for something extraordinary......

Still, she holds onto hope that he might become the person he once was.....

She remembers the early days — the effort, the attention, the certainty in his voice. She keeps thinking maybe he is just stressed, maybe he is just distracted, maybe things will change again.....

And through all of this, she is learning something she never thought she would have to learn —

the art of being alone.....

Being alone is not always about having no one around....

Sometimes it is about feeling alone while being in love.....

It is about giving everything and still questioning your place......

It is about standing beside someone and yet feeling unseen......

It is about lowering your voice so the relationship does not break....

She begins to understand that loneliness is not always about physical distance. It can exist in daily meetings, in shared spaces, in conversations that lack depth....

.

Maybe the art of being alone

is realizing that losing yourself to keep someone

is the loneliest place of all.......

Maybe it is about recognizing that love should not feel like a competition for attention.........

It should not feel like a constant effort to prove your worth.....

And maybe one day, she will learn

how to choose herself again......

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