I wish I could let him go like I never loved him.

The road that used to give me warmth now feels haunting. I remember Dev and I driving off here whenever things felt heavy. How he always cheered me up. How he looked at me as if I was the only one in those eyes.

"This feels terrible." turning up the music, I drive slowly to take in everything about this place maybe for last time. The lyrics go like :

Tum kabhi na kahoge, kyu na hum hi ye bol de

" Damn it!" seriously?????

" Aaya na tu" by Arjun Kanungo, Kunaal Vermaa, and Momina Mustehsan ‧

Why is it that everything has to remind me of what I was going through. This scenery, this car, this music. Why?? Can't you just let me be and at least help me to forget all about it even if it's for 10 minutes but no!

The female line comes up, and I find myself singing along.

...Socha tha agar main milungi tujhe...

...Mere dil ki baate kahungi tujhe...

...Shayad tu badi dur hai jaa chuka...

...Mai akeli reh gyi, na jaane tu kaha kho gaya...

Can this get any more real?

I started tearing up as I sing along.

...Jaate jaate tu mur k fir dekh le...

...Dil kehta hai fir ek dafa dhund le...

...Aayegi kabhi wo yahi lautke...

...Hu yahi mai ho-o-o-o-o-o...

...Magar aaya na tu...

...Aaya na tu........

...****************...

...I finally reach her door. The only person I could think of through all this chaos in my head. I knock on her door. An almost desperate one. Before even fully opening, I hug her like my life depends on it. " Tripti why can't he just love me? Why do I have to break this already broken heart by the same person again, and again!?" I just couldn't take it anymore. She pulled me in and closed the door behind. She just stood there soothing me and calming me down as I let everything out of my chest. " It's okay babe, he's just trash. You're so much more outstanding than this." yes. She's right. I'm so much more than this crying....

Tripti has been my best friend ever since my family moved to West Bengal. We've gone to the same school and it's been 3 years since we became besties. I can't believe I've lived so many years of my life without her. She has always been my greatest supporter and someone I don't feel ashamed to share anything about me at all. Even if she scolds me, I know she's doing it for my own good.

" When I told you to block him from everywhere, I meant even from your life." she said as I calmed down. " He's a trash, and I've been telling you this for a long time. He's not worth your efforts' girl f*ck him off!" I look into her eyes. I know she means well for me, but it's easier said than done to stop liking someone. " I know" I say, my eyes held down. " You know?????" her anger was visible on her face. " What the f*ck do you even know? He brought a girl on your last birthday and acted so intimate with her, just to instigate you. Before that, he took another girl to your house for dinner and that girl was such a b*tch acting like a f*cking menace. WTF did she mean by * sister (calling sukriti sister) I'm sorry, he was late because of me. I sulked that I wanted to have an ice cream before leaving, and he went to buy one for me* literally trying to flaunt that shabby piece of sh*t. And who even called her??? It was a family dinner, and she was a freaking nobody. What the hell!!!! And don't you remember last chr-"" alright I got it this time for real I swear." I couldn't hear it anymore. My eyes went bloodshot. It pained so much. I wish I could let go of him like I never wanted to hold his hands and promise my forever to him.

I wish I could let him go like I never loved him.

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