Silent Confessions

Riley's POV

I glance up again—and this time, she’s gone.

The girl who was leaning too close to him, touching his arm like she belonged there… she’s no longer beside him. I don’t know when she left, but I know I’m relieved. My eyes find his almost instantly, and just like that, our gazes lock.

He doesn’t look away. Not this time.

Instead, he smirks. That half-smile that always makes it hard to breathe. The one he does when he knows exactly how much space he’s taking up in my mind.

That look used to make me furious. Now… I don’t even know anymore. Maybe I’ve given up trying to fight it.

I shift my gaze away, trying to focus on the guy beside me. He’d just walked up casually, talking about how he couldn't make friends cause he's a nerd—like I care. I didn’t even get his name because, honestly, I wasn’t listening. I couldn’t listen.

Because all my attention was on Norman.

And the jealousy? It was rising in waves I couldn’t stop. Every time I looked at him, every time I imagined that girl being close to him, every time I saw him not looking at me—it hit me again.

I have a huge crush on him I know even talking to Mirabel about it didn't seem to do much but it relieved me a little bottling up these emotions because I know I can't ever be the one in his life.

And maybe… just a little one on James too. But James is my best friend. He always has been. That kind of affection feels quieter, safer—like a childhood memory you keep revisiting because it never hurt you it's easier hiding my feelings for James I didn't even think of him last night just the guy shirtless by the window and Norman.

But Norman?

Norman feels like chaos. Like sharp edges. Like something that could destroy me and still have me crawling back for more.

And the worst part? 

He’ll never see me the way I see him.

He has a pattern—he picks girls, gets what he wants, and walks away. He never stays. They always think they’ll be the one to change him, but they’re wrong. And I know this. I know exactly who he is. That’s why I was secretly happy when we moved into this dorm. There are no bedrooms here he can sneak girls into. No late-night rendezvous. Just curfews, shared walls, and thin sheets. It’s not romantic, but at least it limits the damage.

James told me he’d come to this school, and I believed him. He’s always been true to his word. But when I found out Norman would come too—tagging along with James—I pretended to be annoyed. I rolled my eyes, called it “predictable.” But inside? I was relieved. Maybe even a little excited.

I should’ve known better.

Now, I’m here pretending to listen to this guy beside me talk, while my whole soul is wired toward the one person who refuses to give me what I need—a straight answer. A sign. A real moment.

Norman is typing on his phone now. He’s not even glancing up. He looks… intense. Focused. And for some reason, that makes it worse. Who’s he texting? Why is he so serious about it?

The courtyard’s busy. Students everywhere, typing, scrolling, posting. It's ironic how freely everyone uses their phones here, like we’re not living under school rules or surrounded by invisible censorship. No one’s hiding anything. Everything’s in the open, and yet—I’ve never felt more like I have something to hide.

I stare at my book sprawled before me on my desk ignoring the guy beside me, pretending to care, pretending I’m not wondering what Norman’s typing. Wondering if he’s texting James about me. Wondering if I’m the reason his brows furrow just slightly when he’s deep in thought.

I want to believe I matter. That I’m not just another girl watching from the sidelines while he lives like the rules don’t apply to him.

But if I asked him? 

If I opened my mouth and said everything I’m really thinking?

I’m not sure I’d like the answer.

Norman's POV

As I'm watching her, she glances back at me again. Our eyes meet—and this time, she doesn’t look away. Not immediately.

Then, suddenly, the guy says something that makes her laugh. Not a fake one. A real one. My stomach twists.

I pull out my phone again and message James:

Me: Forget calm. I don’t like this guy.

Just then, the girl I’d been with earlier returns, probably thinking I’ve cooled off. She opens her mouth, but I cut her off.

“Listen,” I say, not even turning to her, “I was just killing time, alright? Now get out am bored of you plus your breath stinks.”

She huffs, scoffs even, but doesn’t argue. She just walks away.

James replies: 

James: You’re spiraling, bro.

I don’t answer. Because he’s right. And because spiraling still feels better than pretending I’m not affected at all.

I look up one last time and catch Riley watching me again. This time, her expression is unreadable—like she’s asking a question without saying anything.

Before I can think too much, I turn away.

***

***Download NovelToon to enjoy a better reading experience!***