Realization

My brother was a total fitness freak, so of course he forced me to train with the boy group members.

They were all “oppa” to me—every single one of them at least six years older. And the only one close to my age, the maknae, was still way older than me.

And worst of all…

I hated those dance practices.

Jaehee: “I don’t want to dance and train. I have work to do. My office gave me assignments.”

Minjun: “Should I call your teacher and ask?”

Jaehee: “Do you think I’m still a child?”

Minjun: “What do you think you are, huh? Do you want to grow up looking like a pig?”

Jaehee: “…mchh… fine. I’ll go.”

The first few days were torture.

I had to follow the exact same workouts they did—except I was slower, messier, and tired after ten minutes.

They could pick up choreography in seconds because they trained twelve hours a day.

I trained three hours, which already felt like dying.

Weekends were even worse.

Since I had no classes, my brother made me train with them the entire day. I would go home half-dead.

But after a month… something changed.

My body stopped complaining, and I actually started enjoying it.

On weekends, my brother and I would join them for dinner. Even though they lived in pain and sweat every day, every meal was filled with laughter.

Behind their smiles were stories of failures, family issues, and dreams too heavy for their age.

Training with them made me realize how hard life is… and how privileged I was.

The maknae, Yunho, and I were like Tom and Jerry.

He loved testing my patience, and I loved yelling at him.

Which is probably why one day, a small argument turned into a full-blown fight.

The result?

I broke my hand.

He sprained his leg.

The members took a picture of us in the hospital—

Yunho in a wheelchair, me standing beside him with a full arm cast.

We looked ridiculous.

My brother was furious.

As punishment, he banned both of us from playing video games for a month—the one thing we loved most.

The group stayed in the US for five months before returning to Korea.

Everyone except Yunho.

Because of his injury, the doctor advised two weeks of rest, so he stayed at our house to avoid extra expenses.

One evening, while we were both bored to death on the sofa, he suddenly asked:

Yunho: “Ya… do you have a boyfriend?”

Jaehee: “No. I’m just fifteen.”

Yunho: “I started dating at fourteen. Why are you always so slow? Like a sloth.”

Jaehee: “What about you? Huh? I bet the girl dumped you after two months.”

Yunho: “Hehe… yes.”

We both laughed.

Jaehee: “What about now? You’re twenty-one. Any serious relationship?”

Yunho: “Mm… of course I’m dating.”

He raised an eyebrow.

“What’s your type? Should I introduce you to someone?”

Jaehee: “Come to think of it… I don’t really have a type. I’ve never liked anyone before.”

Yunho: “You’ll know when someone makes your heart jump.””

Jaehee: “Whatever. I don’t think I’ll ever date anyone.”

That night, after Yunho fell asleep with his leg propped on two pillows and his mouth half open, I lay awake on the floor mattress beside him.

The room was dark, except for the faint streetlight leaking through the curtains.

And I kept hearing his voice:

“You’ll know when someone makes your heart jump.”

But that had never happened.

Not with any boy.

When I closed my eyes, faces passed through my mind—

not boys from school, not my brother’s idol friends…

but girls I had seen in training halls, or during company tours.

There was one girl I always remembered.

A girl from another department, Sharp eyes, neat ponytail, confidence in the way she walked.She wasn’t even someone I talked to. But whenever she passed by, something in me straightened—like my mind went click for a second.

I never called it attraction.

I just called it…

noticing.

But that night, lying in the quiet room, I whispered to myself:

“Why do I only notice girls?”

The question scared me a little.

Not because it felt wrong—

but because it felt true.

I turned my head. Yunho was still snoring like a dying engine.

He teased me so often about dating, crushes, boyfriends…

but I realized I never cared.

That fluttery feeling?