Chapter 3: silence in him

The morning was quiet, almost unbearably so. I rolled over in bed, blinking against the weak light filtering through the blinds. My phone lay face down on the table, notifications absent.

No messages from Daiki. Not even one.

I frowned, fingers brushing the screen. Normally, there’d be a dozen texts by now. My thumb hovered over the app. Maybe he was busy. Maybe… something else.

I typed the only thing I could think of, a single question mark. “?”

I stared at it for a long moment before hitting send. Nothing. No reply. The silence on my phone felt heavier than the quiet of my room.

Without thinking too much, I grabbed my shoes and bag. Maybe he was at his apartment. I could check.

The walk there was slow. The streets were empty in the early morning light. My stomach felt hollow, though I didn’t recognize it as fear yet, just a quiet sense that something wasn’t right.

When I arrived, Daiki’s apartment door was closed. Not locked. I rang the bell once. Twice. Three times. Nothing.

“Daiki?” I called, my voice strange in the emptiness. No reply.

A slow, creeping unease settled over me. He wasn’t answering. That wasn’t like him. I tried the handle. The door gave way.

The apartment was quiet. Too quiet.

“Daiki…” My voice faltered. I stepped inside, shoes making soft echoes on the floor. Nothing looked out of place. No note. No sign of struggle. Just… nothing.

I moved toward the stairs, each step heavier than the last. My chest tightened. My heart thudded, but not loudly enough to fill the silence around me.

Then I saw it.

The door to his room was slightly ajar. I pushed it open.

And there he was.

“DAIKI!..”

Daiki, hanging from the ceiling. The rope tight around his neck. His body still. His smile,

my Daiki, the one who had always grinned through everything. frozen in a way it should never have been.

I stumbled back, the room spinning. My legs gave out. I sank to the floor, numb, staring at him.

“Daiki…” The word caught in my throat. My voice sounded distant, like it belonged to someone else.

I wanted to move. I wanted to scream. I wanted… anything. But my body refused.

The world felt impossibly heavy, empty in a way I hadn’t known it could be. He was gone. And the one person who had always pulled me out of nothingness… was gone.

I sank further to the floor, my chest tightening until I could barely breathe. My hands shook, fingers clawing at the air like I could grab him back.

“No… no, no, no!” I shouted, my voice cracking. “Why… why… why?!”

Tears blurred my vision. “You… you were fine yesterday! You were smiling! You were… happy! Why… why did this happen?!”

My knees hit the wooden floor, arms wrapping around myself as sobs tore out of me. I couldn’t understand. I refused to understand.

“You promised me! You promised! You said… you said you’d never leave me!” My voice was hoarse, broken. “You said I’d never be alone!”

I gritted my teeth, shaking, trembling, repeating his words over and over like a mantra, as if saying them might bring him back.

I buried my face in my hands, letting my body shake. The world felt hollow. The mountain of emptiness I had carried inside me for years was nothing compared to this.

Daiki… the boy who had always been there, always smiling, always pulling me out of nothingness… was gone. And for the first time, I didn’t know if I could even stand, if I could keep moving through a world that had stolen him from me.

I whispered, barely audible, almost a plea.

“Why… why didn’t you wait… why… why did you leave me… Daiki…”

Daiki..please..

I sank against the wall, chest heaving, tears falling like rain I couldn’t stop. My mind spun, but then… memories came, unbidden, like a cruel tide.

I remembered the mornings on the way to school, when Daiki would jog ahead and then suddenly stop, pretending to trip, only to grin and shout, “Watch out, Hotoke! I almost became a pancake for you!” I had rolled my eyes then, annoyed as always, but secretly… I had laughed.

I remembered the mountain, the flowers, the stupid rock he insisted he could hit perfectly. He had thrown it with a dramatic flourish and yelled, “Nailed it! Bet you can’t do that!” And I had stared, silent, but something in me had felt lighter.

I remembered the countless times he had cornered me in the hallway with his ridiculous energy, poking me, teasing me, shouting nonsense just to make me respond. “Hotoke! You look like a zombie again! Did the apocalypse finally catch up to you?” And I had muttered, exasperated, “Shut up…” but secretly, I had liked it.

I remembered his smile, the corny, impossible grin that could stretch across the darkest day, and how it never wavered, not even when I was at my worst. That stupid, shining grin had been my anchor.

I remembered the ten-year-old Daiki offering me a hand when I was six, crying on the street, telling me I mattered. That grin had been the same then, unwavering even when the world had been cruel.

And now… he was gone.

All the laughter, all the jokes, all the corny, ridiculous, impossible energy he had poured into my life vanished. The silence in the room felt heavier than ever, pressing down on me, suffocating me.

“Why… why did you leave me?” I whispered, voice breaking. “All your jokes… all your stupid smiles… they were supposed to stay. You promised… you promised…”

The memories kept coming, a relentless flood of color and light and noise in the midst of the dark emptiness. And with each memory, my sobs grew louder, my hands clawing at the floor as if I could dig back the years, claw back life itself.

Daiki… the boy who had thrown himself into my world like sunlight through clouds, the boy who had refused to let me disappear, the boy who had always been there… was gone.

And the silence he left behind was unbearable.

daiki..

go ahead, annoy me, be the corny guy I know, I would do everything you wish, just please…

Come back..

I stared at his dead body

“No! That’s not my daiki!” I shouted forcing myself to believe that was not the daiki I know, the corny guy I used to go with.

I finally dragged myself up from the floor, trembling, fingers slick with tears. My hands shook as I fumbled for my phone. Every nerve screamed, every thought was a haze of disbelief and terror.

I dialed the police number with fumbling fingers. My voice was barely steady.

“Hello… yes… I… I think… my friend… he… he’s…” I couldn’t finish the sentence. My throat tightened until all I could manage was a strangled whisper: “He’s… dead…”

Within minutes, the sound of sirens filled the street. Officers arrived quickly, their calm efficiency a stark contrast to the chaos inside me. I stepped aside as they moved through the apartment, checking the scene.

One of them, a tall officer with a somber expression, crouched beside Daiki’s body, carefully inspecting. He straightened and turned to me.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly, his voice heavy with professionalism and sympathy. “He… he took his own life. Suicide. There’s no sign of foul play. I know this doesn’t make it easier, but that’s what we’ve confirmed.”

I said nothing, I just broke down to my knees, thinking how daiki was just fine yesterday.

The officer knelt beside me, placing a hand lightly on my shoulder. “I know it’s hard to accept, but it’s real. We’ll need a statement from you, and then… we’ll contact his family and handle the rest.”

I couldn’t respond. Words failed me. I could only remember his face, his grin, the corny jokes, the ridiculous energy he had always carried. And now… nothing.

He was gone.

The silence returned, heavier than before, pressing against my ears, my chest, my mind. The apartment once filled with the faint warmth of his presence was empty. Cold. Final.

And I was left alone.

After an hours of investigation

The police now gone. They also take daiki’s body.

The apartment door closed behind the last officer, leaving a silence that was heavier than the one that had been there before. I stood frozen in the empty hallway for a moment, breathing shallow, numb. Every step I took felt disconnected from my body, as if I were watching someone else move.

I left Daiki’s apartment without a word, ignoring the looks of neighbors who passed by. The streets were quiet, the morning sun now high and indifferent. My legs carried me automatically, one step after another, down familiar streets that suddenly felt alien.

By the time I reached my own apartment, my hands were trembling uncontrollably, my eyes red and raw. The door was dark and empty, just as it had always been. I opened it, dropped my bag, and sank to the floor in the middle of the room.

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