Questions Without Answers

I woke to light filtering through a window.

The headache was so intense I wanted to scream, but I couldn't even manage that. The moment I tried to move... I froze.

Something wasn't right.

The light shouldn't have reached the bed from that angle.

I opened my eyes fully and the pain woke with me. My entire body ached, as if I'd been running for hours, as if I'd been beaten from the inside out. Every muscle protested when I tried to move.

I pulled the sheet over myself when I saw my underwear lying on the floor.

My heart raced.

I looked beneath the sheets.

The bloodstain stole the air from my lungs.

I started breathing wrong. Too fast.

My chest burned, my skin was on fire, and I felt like I was going to pass out again.

I didn't want to imagine what the rest of my body looked like.

Red.

Marked.

"What... what happened to me?" I whispered.

Where am I?

"Rene...?" I said, my voice broken.

I repeated his name like a prayer. I clung to that idea with desperation.

It had to have been him.

He had to have come for me.

He had to have brought me here.

After all... we were getting married.

I got up with difficulty and walked to the bathroom.

I cleaned myself as best I could, trembling. When I finally looked in the mirror, my stomach turned.

My neck.

Bruises.

Marks that couldn't be hidden.

I looked at my thighs.

Clear fingerprint imprints.

Faint bruises, but unmistakable.

My body hurt even to breathe.

I put my underwear back on with clumsy hands and left the room.

No one was there.

It was a hotel room.

I went down the stairs as if nothing had happened, picked up my heels from the floor, put them on, and headed out.

I took the elevator down.

No one looked at me. No one asked questions. It was as if I didn't exist.

I covered my neck with my hands and took the first taxi I saw once I left the hotel.

"Wild night?" the driver said, watching me in the rearview mirror.

I nodded without knowing how to respond.

"Why wasn't Rene there when I woke up?"

"Why did he leave me alone?"

We arrived home.

I asked the driver to wait. I went in quickly, grateful no one was there since I didn't know where my purse had ended up. I went upstairs, grabbed money, came back down to pay him, and returned to my room.

I showered.

The water fell, but it didn't cleanse anything. It didn't calm anything.

When I got out, I put on clothes that covered everything.

A turtleneck.

No mirrors.

The door burst open.

"Dad was really worried last night," Yajaira said.

"My friends rented a room... I stayed at the hotel."

"And you didn't tell anyone? At least your fiance. He came looking for you."

"Yes, I know..." I replied. "I was with him."

I said it because I needed to believe it.

She frowned, annoyed, and left.

I grabbed my bag and left the house.

At work, a coworker hugged me the moment she saw me.

"Ania, we were so worried."

"Why?"

"You disappeared. When we came back you were gone. We looked for you... no one saw you. And then—" She held out my phone. "Here."

My phone and my purse.

"I was with Rene," I repeated.

They exchanged glances but said nothing.

"Good thing you're okay," another coworker said.

I smiled as best I could and went to my cubicle.

I worked on autopilot. Attended to clients. Didn't think. Didn't feel.

During lunch hour, I saw my father arrive.

I went out with him.

"I was so worried," he said. "I looked for you everywhere."

I didn't know what to say. I didn't even understand what had happened.

He said goodbye when he saw Rene arriving.

"We'll talk at home," he told me as he left.

I watched them greet each other.

My father left.

"Hi," I said to Rene.

His face was tense.

Hard.

I wasn't prepared for the slap he gave me.

The blow burned my cheek.

"Where were you? Who were you with?"

I pressed my hand to my face.

"With you," I answered, barely audible.

"You turned off your phone. I couldn't track you. And those friends of yours... is that why you hang out with them?"

"No..." I shook my head, trembling.

"How did you manage to leave the hotel?" I asked. "How did you come for me?"

"What are you talking about?" he shouted. "I heard nothing from you until today. Nobody knew where you were."

The world collapsed around me.

I pressed my hands to my mouth.

No.

It couldn't be.

I wasn't with Rene.

I was with someone else.

I gave my virginity... to a stranger.

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