Prologue: Revised!

Balalaika...

​Balalaika...

​Balalaika...

​Do you hear that?

​That is the sound of chaos. That is the sound of the universe laughing at us.

Or maybe…

It is just the sound of dogun-dogun so fast that it has decided to start its own heavy metal band.

​Hey, you!

​Yes, I am talking to you.

Look up!

No, not at your ceiling. Look up at the sky in your imagination. Do you see it? That massive fleet of red ships descending upon the moon?

​They are crashing the wedding.

​Specifically, they are crashing Ranyan's wedding.

​Rude, right?

​We are standing here on the lunar surface, dressed in our fancy clothes, surrounded by half-eaten cupcakes and terrified guests, while the Krall swarm the atmosphere like angry bees looking for a picnic to ruin.

Most people would be screaming. Most people would be running to the nearest shuttle and praying to whatever deity they believe in.

​But I am not like most people. I am Arala.. you can call me, Private.

​And I am not worried.

​Why?

​Because look at us. Look at Explorer 7. We are not the same Melitos we were two years ago. We do not need to wait for Ranyan to drag us naked into a bedroom, then fill our purupin with his gegeru fluid to save the world anymore.

We have evolved. We have upgraded.

​We have the Mugururu!

​"Private! Focus!" Vice shouts from my left.

​She is still wearing her white wedding gown, but the skirt is torn to shreds to allow for movement. Her arms have transformed. The skin has peeled back to reveal the rotating barrels of the Gatling Rose. She looks like a terrifying, beautiful angel of death.

​"I am focusing, Vice!" I yell back, pointing at a group of Krall Troopers landing near the buffet table. "I am focusing on saving the pudding!"

​"Forget the pudding!" Chef screams.

​Chef is running past me, her hands engulfed in blue flames. She is wearing a bridesmaid dress that is already singed at the edges.

​"Tonix! Freeze them!" Chef shouted.

​"On it!" Navi slides across the lunar grass, ice spreading from her fingertips. "Don't melt my ice this time, Gin!"

​"It is called thermal shock, Tonix! Learn some science!"

​Fire and ice collide with the Krall Troopers.

The aliens screech as their armor shatters from the sudden temperature change. It is a beautiful sight. A symphony of destruction played by my hama-hama family.

​I look around. The battle is everywhere.

​There are Vipers slithering between the tables, knocking over the champagne towers. There are Centaurs galloping through the flower arrangements, their heavy hooves crushing the roses.

There are Butterfly types flapping their wings above us, dropping toxic dust onto the guests.

​"Stealth!" Vice barks. "Protect the civilians!"

​"Wonderwall!"

​Yeah…

That's Gap.

Or Stealth as we call her, but I like to call her Gagapi, slams her hands onto the ground.

Massive stone walls erupt from the lunar soil, surrounding the terrified guests and blocking the toxic dust. She looks so cool. Even though she is shaking a little, her walls are solid.

​And then there is Mommy.

​She is standing near the fountain, her rabbit ears twitching. She looks calm. Too calm. She sets her drink down on a passing robot waiter with a sigh.

​"Well," Mommy says, smoothing her dress, "I guess the wedding party is over."

​She raises her hand. The gravity around a squad of Locust Krall shifts instantly. They slam into the ground, crushed by their own weight.

​See? We are strong.

​"Prof!" Vice yells, firing a barrage of bullets into a Centaur's chest. "Status report! The enemy numbers are increasing!"

​Prof is standing behind a barrier of her own clones. She isn't fighting. She is typing on her datapad, her face illuminated by the holographic display.

​"The statistical probability of being overrun is rising, Vice," Prof states calmly. She adjusts her glasses. "However, the combat efficiency of the GX-778-C serum is currently holding at ninety-eight percent."

​"The what?" I ask, blinking. "The Gee-Ex... Seven... Seven... Eight... Cee?"

​"It is a simple alphanumeric designation, Private," Prof sighs, shooting a shadow bolt from her clone's hand to decapitate a Viper.

​"It is too hard to say!" I complain. "Just call it Mugururu! It sounds cuter!"

​"It is not cute," Prof counters. "It is a concentrated bio-energy extract derived from the Captain's Queen energy. It allows us to access Melios without the prerequisite of the Felt act."

​"Mugururu!" I insist.

​I look at Ranyan.

​He is standing in the center of the chaos. He looks... bored.

​He is wearing his tuxedo, but the jacket is gone, and his sleeves are rolled up. He is watching the S-Rank Inquors, including our scary Papa, Liquida Quarso, tearing through the Krall lines.

Papa uses a shotgun the size of a cannon, turning aliens into purple mist.

​"Hey, Ranyan!" I shout, waving my hand. "Are you going to help? Or are you just going to model?"

​Ranyan turns to me.

He grins. It is that goofy, lopsided grin that makes me want to hug him and punch him at the same time.

​"I am waiting for the main course, Arala," he says, winking.

​And…

Then I see it.

​The ground shakes. The artificial gravity generators whine in protest. A shadow falls over the wedding venue.

​It is a Gyra.

​A massive, living troop transport. It looks like a giant, rotting whale made of bone and hate. It crashes down near the altar, crushing the wedding arch.

​"Okay," Ranyan says, cracking his knuckles. "That is big."

​"I got this!" I scream.

​I ran forward.

I can feel the energy coursing through my veins. The Mugururu. It is hot. It feels like Ranyan is hugging me from the inside.

​"Mech Titan!"

​The metal materializes around me. Giant, shiny, beautiful metal. It forms a seven-meter tall robot. I am in the cockpit. I am the pilot. I am the giant now.

​"Take this, you ugly meatball!"

​I swing the Titan's fist. It connects with Gyra's face... umm… do they have faces? It connects with the front part. The impact sends a shockwave through the lunar dust. The Gyra screeches, stumbling back.

​But it doesn't fall.

​It opens its mouth. Hundreds of new Krall pour out.

​"There are too many!" Xecta cries out from behind me. She is using her Remido light to heal a wounded Inquor, but she looks pale. "My energy reserves are dropping!"

​"Hold the line!" Vice orders, though I can hear the strain in her voice. Her Gatling guns are spinning slower. "We cannot let them reach the shuttle!"

​We are pushing back, but they are endless. It is a tide of red skin and claws.

​I punch a Centaur, sending it flying into orbit. But three more take its place.

​"This is getting annoying," Ranyan sighs.

​He reaches into his pocket. He pulls out a small, glass vial. Inside, a red liquid swirls. It glows. It looks like liquid danger.

​That Mugururu!

​"Prof," Ranyan calls out. "Is the batch stable?"

​"The stability is questionable," Prof replies, creating another clone to take a hit for her. "But like what I said, it will trigger the transformation without the mental degradation."

​"Good enough for rock and roll," Ranyan says.

​He pops the cork. He drinks it in one gulp.

​I watch him. You should watch him too. This is the best part.

​Ranyan shudders. He drops to his knees. His tuxedo shirt rips apart at the seams.

​His black hair... it starts to bleed red. It grows, cascading down his back like a waterfall of blood. His shoulders slim down. His hips flare out.

​He stands up.

Nope…

​She stands up.

​Queen Form.

​Oh my God. Ranyan looks so... sexy.

​She has crimson skin now. A long, monkey-like tail whips behind her, cracking the air. Her eyes are vertical slits, glowing with a golden light that is brighter than the stars. She radiates power. It is terrifying. It is beautiful. It makes my stomach do the giga-giga flips, and my purupin so confused.

​"Hey!" Queen Ranyan shouts. Her voice is layered, like two people speaking at once.

A man and a woman. A hero and a monster.

​Every Krall on the battlefield freezes. They look at her. They smell her.

​She is the Alpha.

​"Get off my lawn," Ranyan growls.

​She pulls her fist back. The air distorts around her hand. It is not just strength. It is authority.

​She punches the air.

​A shockwave of red energy erupts from her fist. It tears through the vacuum. It hits the Gyra. It hits the swarm.

​Silence.

​Then... boom!

​The Gyra disintegrates. The Krall Troopers are vaporized. The Vipers turn to ash. In one single second, the entire invasion force is wiped out.

​Ranyan stands there, smoke rising from her knuckles. She flips her hair back. It is the coolest thing I have ever seen.

​Then, she turns around.

​She looks at me. She looks at Vice.

And then...

​She looks past us.

​She looks right at you.

​Yes, you!

​Ranyan winks. Her slit pupil dilates.

​"Did you like that?" she asks, breaking the fourth wall like it is made of cheap glass. "Pretty intense, right?"

​I climb out of my Mech Titan. I ran over to her.

​"Ranyan!" I cheer. "That was amazing! You were all like... woosh! And they were all like... splat!"

​"I try my best, Arala," Ranyan says, her voice returning to normal as the red fades from her skin. She starts to shrink back into her male form. "But we have to be careful."

​"Why?" I ask.

​"Because," Ranyan says, pointing at the sky where the debris is still falling. "It’s going to be different."

​"Different how?" Vice asks, walking over. Her wedding dress is ruined, but she still looks like a queen.

​"Less... sticky," Ranyan grins. "We are aiming for a wider audience, ladies. PG-13. No more clak-clak, in weird places. No more flying fluids. No more smut. Just pure, wholesome, high-stakes violence and emotional drama."

​"Hopefully," I add, looking at you. "But between you and me? I think we are still going to be a little weird. We are Explorer 7, after all. Honestly, I want Ranyan to fill my purupin."

​Ranyan laughs. He is fully a man again. He wraps his arm around Vice. He ruffles my hair.

​"Exactly," he says. "We are the chaos."

​He looks at the horizon of the moon. The Earth hangs in the sky, big and blue and fragile.

​"Are you ready?" Ranyan asks us.

​"Ready for what?" Navi asks, limping over with Chef.

​"For the sequel," Ranyan says.

​He turns to you one last time. He points his finger right at your face.

​"Welcome to The Chaotic Fanfare Revised!"

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