Do I Deserve to Be Loved by Anyone

Do I Deserve to Be Loved by Anyone

Chapter 1 — The Night Everything Changed

Before Elliot was even born, his life nearly took a different path. For a brief, uncertain moment, his parents had considered giving him away. No one ever told him why. Perhaps fear. Perhaps money. Perhaps a life they didn’t feel ready for. But at the last minute, something softened in them, and they chose to keep him.

As a child, Elliot grew up surrounded by affection. Neighbors pinched his cheeks, relatives called him a blessing, and for a while, love seemed like the natural state of the world. His mother worked long hours, leaving early in the morning and returning late in the evening, her face often tired but gentle. His father stayed at home, taking care of the house and, most of all, Elliot.

To a five-year-old boy, that felt normal. Safe. Permanent.

Until the night it wasn’t.

It was late, and Elliot had fallen asleep beside his father. The room was quiet except for the slow rhythm of breathing and the distant hum of traffic outside. Sometime in the night, the door creaked open. His mother had returned from work. Carefully, she lifted Elliot into her arms, as if he were still a baby, and carried him to her bed.

He barely stirred.

In his half-sleep, Elliot felt someone pull a blanket over him. He thought it was his mother tucking him in. But something felt wrong. There were sounds — harsh whispers, then louder voices, sharp like glass breaking.

When he opened his eyes, the world he knew shattered in front of him.

His father stood over his mother, shouting words Elliot didn’t understand but felt in his chest like thunder. Then came the blows. His mother tried to shield herself, but even as she did, one arm stretched back toward Elliot, trying to cover him, to keep him from seeing, from waking, from knowing.

But he was awake.

He sat up, heart racing, confusion turning into fear. He jumped from the bed and rushed forward, small hands pushing against his father’s arm.

“Stop!”

His voice was thin, powerless.

His father shoved him aside as if he weighed nothing. Elliot stumbled, nearly falling, the shock of it freezing his breath. Panic surged through him, and he screamed for help — the kind of scream that comes from a place deeper than words.

Moments later, footsteps thundered down the hallway. His older cousin burst into the room and pulled his father back, ending the storm before it swallowed the night completely.

But for Elliot, the damage was already done.

That was the night he learned that love could be loud, fragile, and frightening.

That was the night his world began to changes. Silence followed, but it was not the peaceful kind. It was heavy, broken, and filled with things no one knew how to say.

Elliot stood frozen, his small body shaking uncontrollably. The room felt unfamiliar now, like a place he had never been before. His heart pounded so loudly he thought everyone could hear it.

That night, sleep refused to come.

Every time he closed his eyes, he saw it again — the shouting, the blows, his mother’s outstretched arm trying to protect him. The memories replayed like flashes of lightning behind his eyelids, each one making him jolt awake, breath caught somewhere between a sob and a gasp.

His mother, bruised and exhausted, pulled him close despite her own pain. She stroked his hair gently, whispering soft words he barely heard. She tried to calm him, tried to steady his shaking hands, because even through her injuries, she could not bear to see her son so terrified.

So she held him until the night finally loosened its grip on the world.

And though the sun would rise again in the morning, something inside Elliot had already learned what darkness looked like.

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