CHAPTER ONE: "I choose you."

"I chose you."

   Hailley had no idea how many times she heard this from Stephan, his words firm and persistent like a seal that couldn't be washed, it seemed to have been stamped in that unknown booklet, witnessed by all , yet by none. Had she accepted it after hearing it so many times, she wasn't sure either, but her heart was no longer peaceful. She felt his words and persistence circle her like an inextricable shadow following her, tightening with each step. She felt suffocated, strangely she didn't wish to take off this chain, she didn't want to extricate herself from his control, as if her life would no longer be thesame.

She felt life would be empty, pointless and dull if she didn't hear his voice, whispering silently random chats that were neither ambiguous nor romantic, but she found herself enchanted to his voice that was neither a melody, but a cello like familiarity that got her enamored for no apparent reason. His whispers were meritriciouse, but they hooked her and drew her soul towards him, before she could realise it, she felt comfortable beside him, slowly losing her guard, not reluctantly, but voluntarily. She lost her usual calmness beside him, like an addiction, she became moody and gloomy if a day elapsed without seeing his shadow, this addiction puzzled her deeply. Hailley touched her heart and felt the steady and calm heart beat, she was troubled, she had no idea if this was love, she was unsure. She raised her head and looked at the young man beside her, who neither smiled not frowned, but had a confident and calm expression on his handsome face. Yes, he was very handsome, gentle, with lovely eyes that seemed to say a lot, yet she didn't seem to be able to see through him at all.

"But I don't agree." Hailley replied with certainty, though she wasn't sure any longer, but she wasn't senile, she had really never accepted him. Her answer had always been a no, but she had no idea how despite her firm answer she wasn't decisive enough. Hailley pondered with uncertainty with uncertainty, before she could ponder further, his low chuckle interrupted her thoughts.

"When are we getting married?"

He asked with a playful smile, as if he hadn't heard her words just now, it should have annoyed her, but she strangely didn't feel anything. Her heart was helpless, not angered, which made her exasperated, but she didn't walk away either. She was sitting very close to him, but the distance was considered sociable, though it didn't seem quite appropriate. The 'she' in the past would never sit on a two person seat with another man or even woman. However, here she was, sitting very close to him without any discomfort, yet she didn't find it strange.

'They were friends' She reminded herself with an hypnotic mutter in heart, as if breaking the hypnotic charm would completely make her lose herself, but had she?

Hailley looked at Stephan who was still smiling at her playfully, which reminded her of his previouse words.

"It won't happen, I already said there's no future between us?" she reiterated, it had become her usual answer, she wasn't tired of saying it, but he didn't seem tired of hearing it either. It suddenly seemed like a game of chess where she moved back and he chased, but it was still unknown who had the upper hand. There was no expected winner in this game of chess, but there wasn't a loser either, as if the game was stagnant after many years, but the progress was huge, just plagued with uncertainty.

"Why are you so beautiful today, did you sleep in dew last night?"

  Stephan said with an obviouse smile in his eyes, with a tone revealing expectations, she was already quite familiar with that tone which stood as infatuation, yet wasn't the case. It wasn't the first time he had complimented her, neither was it her first time receiving such a compliment from a man. Hailley pursed her lips, not intending to thank him again, repetition seemed to have exhausted her. She playfully played with her phone, revealing that somehow identical tone of his with a playful smile.

"So I wasn't beautiful yesterday ?" Her voice was laced with sarcasm, but it had an obviouse irony, seen at first glance. She wasn't ugly, measuring 1.62 meters talk, she wasn't considered a tall beauty, but she wasn't short either, just that standing beside the 1.78 meters Stephan Smith. As for her beauty, it was unquestionable in the whole school, no staff member could rival it. She had beautiful black wavy hair cascading down her waist, lush and stunning, soft contours that accentuated her oval shape face, small heart shaped lips. With a pear shape, her figure was considered seductive, but her beauty wasn't the seductive type, her calm composure gave off a kind of mystery, enticing men to explore further, yet careful with their approach. A slender waist and a 'B' cup breast which was neither full not small, enough in a hand full.

Was she beautiful ?

Surely no one would deny it, though not a peerless beauty that could move mountains and topple cities, she had a unique special charm that excluded her from her colleagues.

"Just say thank you, it was a compliment, Hailley ?" Stephan added seriousely, ignoring her previouse question.

"Thank you then?" Hailley replied without any resistance, she had no idea how she became so obedient towards him, she did treat him differently. Looking at the three seater chair that could fit three people, yet would be crowded, no one sat in between them and their legs were almost touching.She was already at the edge of the chair, so was he, which was neither close not far. But it didn't fit her usual style, she had either been sitted opposite others or beside them on the other chair, never with them. At least, she couldn't remember being so close to her other male colleagues. Even if they entertaining her, she would barely exchange words with them if they were male and if they were female, it was pretty good to chat with them if they had to take the lead.

Stephan always took the lead and she followed without any resistance, as if his words gave her no chance to resist, not even if it was a chance of refusal.

"So when are we meeting the parents, my mother in-law had probably been waiting for too long, sigh." Stephan sighed helplessly, his eyes pausing on her as if waiting for a respond, or waiting for an answer that would favour. Hailley never gave in, but neither did he, we all kept playing this game of chess but she was playing into his design.

"Hailley, answer me." He spoke like a tide _ not pulling, yet impossible not to follow. His eyes lingered, steady and unreadable, as though measuring the space between her hesitation and obedience.His eyes held hers — not demanding, just certain, and she knew she had given him that certainty long ago, she just didn't know if she couldn't break his confidence or perharps she had no idea how to do it. Perharps she just didn't have the desire to do it, as if it didn't matter. She was tired of correcting him in his adress of her mother.

"Hailley ?" He repeated with a frown, not loudly but enough to stir her emotion. His gentle gaze stayed on her just long enough to make refusal feel unnatural.

"Who's your mother in-law ?" Hailley replied with helplessness, but did it really matter, he would refute anyway.

"Hailley, we're getting old, do you only want us to get married when we're both relying on sticks." He said jokingly with a pained expression, but the smile on his face seemed to be contagiouse, as it had always been.

Of course, Hailley laughed, like he had always made her chuckle even while she had wished to maintain a cold approach on him.

"I'm still young, but it's fine if you want to get married, I'm not holding you back?" She made her stance clear, though she knew it was all for naught.

"Why are you torturing me so much, our future kids are protesting?" Stephan complained with an aggrieved expression, that seemed to have made her see a mini version of himself. In her mind, his voice split in two — the steady tone she heard, and beneath it, a smaller echo asking not to be ignored.

She imagined a younger version of him standing behind his eyes, tugging at the strings.

For a moment, she saw him as a child stacking control like blocks, afraid they might fall.

"Hailley, this dress suits you quite well, did you dress up for me?" Stephan broke her out of her revery, it was as if what she saw a moment ago was an image created by her subconsciouseness, but why would she create such an image in her mind. She never thought of a future with him, she always felt they were just good as friends.

"Blue suits you quite well." He added, looking down at her dress with complecence.

Today she was wearing a blue shirt dress that ran down to her knees, not short, but not too long either. Underneath her gown she was wearing a dark long sleeve turtle neck pull-over that covered her entire arm and neck. The dress held her waist firmly, rather conservative but elegant, giving off a vintage vibe. She knew that he was just glad she had dressed pretty much conservative.

She knew he liked that she belonged to herself first, her restraint made him feel chosen when she softened and nothing about her invited the crowd — and that exclusivity stirred him. Her modesty created a boundary and he liked being allowed past it. He liked how she dressed as though her body were not public property. And the quiet dignity of it stirred something possessive in him.

But she had never dressed indecently, not in the past and she had never intended to do so even in the future. She was just fond of wearing jeans and trousers, to make her feel comfortable and cassual in her outfit. But Stephan seemed to have a strange prejudice about trousers and jeans. His male ego or rather his chauvinistic side felt that a woman couldn't be in trousers with men.

Hailley suddenly realised that she seemed to have subconsciousely dressed to hear him comment in pleasantness.

It wasn’t vanity.

It was anticipation.

Somewhere beneath conscious thought, she had prepared herself for his approval —

as if his pleasant remarks were something she needed to earn.

"...I saw a very beautiful skirt while shopping for clothes, I'll gift it to you." Stephan said as a reminder, as if suddenly recalling his late afternoon stroll in the clothes shop where he spotted the inconspiciouse net maxi flared skirt with flared hem. It wasn't her favourite blue colour, but the yellow skirt would look good on her.

"I don't need it." Hailley caught through his thought with an obviouse rejection, she still wasn't prone to accepting gifts from him. It didn't matter whether the skirt was beautiful or not. That wasn’t her problem, her problem was the quiet implication stitched into it —

that he had imagined her in it before she had. She could already hear the pleasant approval in his voice if she accepted it.

And that was exactly why she couldn’t.

Stephan frowned and looked at her with an uncertainexpression, as if he didn't understand why she actually had to refuse his gift. But it didn't matter to her what he thought at that moment she just didn't want to accept his gift.

"Hailley, you're not being kind."

His expression remained controlled, almost patient — but there was a pause behind his eyes, as though recalculating. He studied her carefully, lips curved in something too measured to be hurt. With not entirely softened, but not entirely calm.

There was a delicate ache in it — one that made her refusal feel heavier than it was.

It made her feel a little guilty and hesitant, as if she hadn't been kind on her refusal, something in her stirred as if she had been wrong, but had she been wrong, she couldn't tell. It felt slightly suffocated, but she didn't want to relent regardless of her complicated feelings.

She pursed her heart shaped lips and lowered her head to look at her phone without giving him another reply, but she felt his lingering gaze on her. It really made it impossible for her to ignore, no matter how hard she tried.

"It's no use trying to convince me, I won't relent." She said, taking off her gaze from her phone and locking it in his eyes, trying to hold his gaze.

Her eyes firmly lifted to hold his, determined but she found his deep gaze already firmly staring into hers— as if his gaze had weight, and her own floated helplessly into it.

Why couldn’t she hold his gaze : his presence drew attention, bending her focus without threat. She had tried to hold his gaze, but it was like looking into a quiet storm —

steady, calm, yet impossible to resist.

Her eyes wavered, and she felt herself pulled toward something she could not name. His gaze was intimidating; with inevitability.

Unable to maintain this gaze game, Hailley lowered her gaze, her quiverring eye lashes reminded her she had lost again. But she didn't feel like she had lost though

it's just that his gaze claimed her for a moment —and yet she felt no chains.She didn’t notice the way it was already threading around her will, because it had not yet tightened. She could easily look away, heart almost fluttering, and told herself she had lost nothing.

And in truth, she hadn’t —

not fully.

She simply hadn’t realized how easily she had already been drawn in.

"I think it's time, don't tell me I withheld you from going to church." Hailley replied standing on her feet before he could even react, but he didn't seem to be surprised. He playfully smiled and she realised her dark hair had just slipped off his slender fingers.

When did he hold my hair ?

She hadn't felt it, as if she had lost all guard once she was sitting beside him.

"Aren't you ?" Stephan replied, directly towering in front of her, his school bag strapped on the side, giving off a cool vibe, with quite a charisma.

"You're the one I've been waiting for, it's already been three years, Hailley ?"

Stephan added, suddenly reminding her that they had known each other for three years now, but when exactly did everything start.

"Stephan, what's our relationship right now ?" Hailley asked also completely unsure herself. It could be said they were friends, but it seemed more like a reminder to keep herself from being misunderstood. However when she looked arround the canteen at the few people present, she felt lost.

Hailley’s eyes drifted across the canteen — colleagues, casual chatter, the hum of routine. And yet, nothing anchored her thoughts except the quiet gravity of Stéphan beside her. She reminded herself — we are friends, she repeated like a mantra —

but her body remembered a closeness her mind did not. She felt unmoored, suspended between what she knew and what she felt a small boat drifting on waters she didn’t understand.

When did it start, how did it come to this, was it wrong or right?

Hailley tried to recall why and how she found herself in this situation with Stephan, but it should have been three years ago.

Hailley stared deeply at the canteen — at the few people, the casual noise, the ordinary movements — and for the first time, she tried to trace the steps that had led her here.

When had it begun?

The lunches where his glance lingered too long, the subtle words that felt like guidance,

the moments that seemed harmless at first, yet had slowly shaped the space between them?

She couldn’t name the exact day, the exact conversation.

And perhaps that was the truth — there was no single beginning.

Only a slow tightening of threads she hadn’t realized she was following.

How had it all begun?

She searched her mind for the moment she had first noticed the way his voice commanded yet invited, the moment she had first found herself arranging her own choices around him.

But memory offered nothing clear — only echoes, threads she could not untangle.

Standing there, breath almost brushing his, she realized that perhaps there was no first step.

Only the path she had walked willingly, unknowingly, to this precise point.

It was on that day...

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